Also, I do believe that more love can never be a bad thing. I worked in a daycare center and I know I loved the children under my care. My daughter is in an in home daycare and her provider has become one of my best friends and loves Ella like her own family. And yes, to some degree she is raising Ella…but so am I. That’s the case no matter what choice you make. Even if you stay at home someone has to be helping you. It does take a village and a lot of love.

Best of luck to you. You have helped me learn a lot about infertility while a family member went through it. You are brave to share your journey and your thoughts and it is very much appreciated.

It struck me, when I looked at your belly shot, that you look like other healthy pregnant women that I have seen……if I didn’t know you, I would have NO idea what you have been through. It makes me realize both that it really CAN happen and that the assumptions I make about other pregnant women (i.e., that they TTC naturally, etc.) may not be valid. Not that I expect that any of us have a scarlett “I” on our chests (or bellies) but that we can go on to have healthy pregnancies.

Geesh, I hope this post makes sense. I am not exactly sure if I can articulate it….

XOXOXOX

I could go on and on about why daycare has been a great situation for us, but I think the argument is lost on people like this who won’t consider other viewpoints anyway. There’s often enough guilt associated with putting your child in daycare, especially when returning to work is a necessity rather than a choice, and no wonder that’s the case with comments like this that run rampant among moms.

D

I guess people have strong opinions about daycare. Personally, I lean towards it being a parent (or close relative) in charge wherever possible, especially in the very early stages, and I do think there’s more room in most people’s budgets than they think (and that the “profit margin” on going back to work is usually less than people expect). We’ve just been through so many income gaps since we got married, and were always stressed about how to make ends meet with simple things like food and a roof over our heads, and it was amazing how much further we could make the money stretch when we had to – like me quitting work a year ago, starting a master’s degree, and continuing with IVF, for example. I must say I don’t worry so much about where the money is coming from any more.

But that’s our financial situation. I don’t know that much about yours. And I’d say the pros and cons of staying home vs using outside care have already occurred to you and you’ve been over them thoroughly enough. So whilst I would encourage you, as an educated woman who can get decently-paid work, to leave a little wiggle room for seeing how the budget pans out and also how you adapt to parenthood so you can leave yourself open to changing your mind about working/staying at home later down the track, in the end I think you should make the best choice for your own family, with your own unique situation in mind.

I don’t envy you the next couple of months’ work.

Bea

I love the photos! I haven’t let a photo be taken of me. I’m pretty sure I’ll live to regret that someday…

And, btw, I can’t believe how much you still have to work. Be sure to take care of yourself!

One commenter above stated that the only “downfall” to daycare centers is that they don’t allow sick, throwing up kids to attend, after which she acquiesced that this was actually good because then sick kids don’t infect her kid. How about it’s a good thing because throwing up babies should be with their loving parents not some person paid to deal with them!?

There is a time and a place for daycare for children…it’s called preschool. It’s a kind of sickness in our society that allows parents to think it’s ok to place their 6 week old or 8 week old or 6 month old in a center to be raised each weekday by a virtual stranger.

As a new mother of a one month old and someone who has also struggled with fertility, someone whose family finances could certainly use that second income, someone who is also highly educated and career oriented, I could not imagine passing my little vulnerable baby off to someone else and heading back into the office. She needs me more than we need that income and more than I need to use those diplomas right now. I would rather my husband and I sell our home, cars, and move in with my parents before I would do that.

You or your husband can reinvent yourselves in your careers a million times over, but you only have one chance to love and parent your baby. One shot, so why pass that luxury off to someone else? Do you really think a wage earner at a care center has enough kisses, hugs, and loves for your baby? No where near the amount you can and will give him/her…so why deprive your child?

I’m sorry to be preachy, and I won’t post again, but I had to say it. Every commenter seems to be so supportive of daycare and applauding your efforts to research them, I just can’t believe no one has brought up the fact the daycare = someone else raising your kid.