Comments on: The pregnancy card.

By: andbabybmakesthree

andbabybmakesthree — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:46:33 +0000

There’s definitely a big difference between taking into account your (temporary) reduced capabilities and someone who excepts the world to stop for her because she’s pregnant. I understand the hesitation to not want to slow down and still do everything as you did before. When I was pregnant, I walk two flights of stairs to my office instead of choosing the elevator. Sure, it was a lot more slow-going than before, but I still did it, because I sort of had to prove to myself that I could do it, that I wasn’t any less than before. It was hard for me to give up things like that, but now I realize it’s not that I was less than before, but just a changed version of me that did have limitations. This transition time of pregnancy sure plays some mind games (to say the least)!!

By: Casey

Casey — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 05:55:46 +0000

Well, whether or not you’re playing the “pregnancy card” depends on where you’re at in your pregnancy. Second trimester and early third trimester are not at all like the end of the third trimester when you are so big you are disabled in alot of ways. At nine months pregnant your internal organs are so shuffled around that not even the doctor can tell you where they are and you could very well be suffering from any number of discomforts that only bugged you earlier on but are now almost intolerable (varicose veins, back aches, constipation or diarrhea, hemorrhoids, achy hips and groin, swollen feet and hands, nasal congestion, sleep apnea, bladder control issues, breathing problems, etc.). You’re so uncomfortable and not sleeping that labor is a welcome change of pace. You shall see soon enough.

I understand what you’re saying, and there are plenty of women who take advantage of their pregnancy, but still, come on. Sisters gots to look out for sisters–pregnancy is important and should be given lots of consideration, patience, and gentleness. You kind of sound like my dad, and he voted for George Bush twice AND advised me to drink gin fizzes to induce labor. Nuff said.

By: Christiana

Christiana — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:09:46 +0000

Certainly i don’t think that because I am pregnant I should be waited on hand and foot (though I admit to being a blob for weeks at the onset of this pregnancy when I had NO energy and NO will to move), however, the health of both you and Squishy will require some sacrifices. I’ve heard too many stories (and had to be nudged a few times myself) about women trying to do too much and setting off PTL, etc. because they thought they could do it all. Your body can’t do it all – it’s growing a person, maintaining you and hopefully hanging in there until it’s safe for Squishy to make his/her debut. You’re not being a princess or whatever to look out for your health and sanity. That is an incredibly valid reason for slowing down.

By: mrs spock

mrs spock — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:47:01 +0000

I don’t think it’s too much to ask for anyone to balk at obligatory 16-hour days, whether they are pregnant or not. It just isn’t good for anyone’s body or mind. We all deserve adequate rest, sleep, leisure time, exercise, and days off- including your non-pregnant coworkers. It’s totally OK for health and family to take priority over work. Why should we harm ourselves for a business?

By: Somewhat Ordinary

Somewhat Ordinary — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:47:42 +0000

What has saddened me is that even though I’ve tried so hard to not play the pregnancy card – it has been played for me in my workplace. I went from their shining star to basicially a nothing in a matter of months and that hurts because I thought I was valued for my capabilities. Within weeks of announcing my pregnancy I was told that even though I planned on coming back ultimately I wouldn’t because “that is what all women say and when they see their babies they change their minds.” The only area they haven’t allowed me to play the pregnancy card is with my doctor’s appointments-I was told yesterday that I have too many-gee I’m almost 35 weeks pregnant

I agree with Christina in that there are aspects of respect and humanity towards a woman carrying another life (especially as she reaches the end of pregnancy). Things get tougher the further along we get and whether you have struggled to get pregnant or had it come easy we all deserve to be given a certain amount of basic human courtesy.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:13:07 +0000

I am totally feeling the same way. I feel so horrible when my husband does things for me. I still want to feel like I am contributing the same way I was at home/work everyday before the pregnancy. I still want to be able to do it all, but the physical limitations are a struggle. I don’t think you should feel bad pulling the pregnancy card, but I understand how hard it is to do. Now I need to take my own advice.

By: christina(apronstrings)

christina(apronstrings) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:13:04 +0000

and, the cat woman, described as infertile fantasies has nothing to do with it…she would be a ride hag no matter her condition. why punish us all because of the 1%?

By: christina(apronstrings)

christina(apronstrings) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:11:55 +0000

i think it is okay to expect the world to have a little humanity and act kindly towards someone is is living life for two. and this isn’t in direct competition with the poor guy working 16 hours too, can’;t we be considerate of you both?

i don’t think that just because you’re infertile means that you don’t deserve basic kindness.

sorry, i just gotta call bullsh1t.

By: Bea

Bea — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:07:06 +0000

I emailed you before I saw this, so I’m just going to say it again, more or less.

You’re allowed reasonable consideration on the grounds of being pregnant. Don’t forget that. That’s not “the card”, that’s just an exchange of basic courtesies. Even bitter infertiles understand that, no matter how much they’re hurting.

Bea