The good.

I’m feeling pretty good these days. About my decision to stop nursing and pumping. About being a working mom.

About our newfound sleep.

I’m having a hard time believing that it’s a coincidence that Baby O is starting to sleep through a FULL night around the same time I stopped nursing him. Because now? Instead of a middle of the night nurse, he gets a 5am bottle. Eight whole ounces, which he sucks down hungrily.

And because he’s sleeping better, he’s generally a happy boy during the day. Smiling, rolling, happy baby.

Sometimes I do feel a pang that he doesn’t seem to miss nursing. Because, well, *I* do. Sort of.

But then we snuggle in for a bottle, and I don’t have to worry he’s not getting enough. And I get to kiss his head. Or ruffle his hair. And often, in the mornings when he’s at the tail end of his bottle, he reaches up, eyes closed, and touches my face softly. As if he’s just checking to make sure I’m still there.

And now that we’ve gotten a handle on his hunger, and he’s sleeping better and longer… we’re having FUN being Baby O’s parents.

Every night, when I walk into the house, and he sees me, I’m rewarded with a big smile. Work just disappears. And we play together, and we read books. And when he needs to go to bed, he buries his face in my shoulder. And I put him down, and within minutes, he’s asleep.

I feel like it’s taken me this long to get comfortable with being Baby O’s mom. Almost nine months.

In a week or so, Baby O will have officially lived outside me longer than he was inside me.

And with each day, my love for him grows deeper and wider and bigger than I ever thought it possible to love anyone in this world.

I am so lucky to have him. To be his mom.

I mean. LOOK at him.

How can this smile NOT melt your heart?