Comments on: Understanding.

By: isabel

isabel — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:28:07 +0000

That sounds lovely. I’m happy your relationship with your folks is blossoming.

By: Nearlydawn

Nearlydawn — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:32:31 +0000

Wow, that is a really great post. I totally understand it. My parents were poor, I was born in the 70’s, and our house was filled with a lot of frustration and angst re: parenting 3 kids.

There are some days when I call my Mom and say “So Sorry!!” or “Thank You for not killing me!”. It really does put it all into perspective, doesn’t it?

By: Kir

Kir — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:45:21 +0000

I love this post too, because I often hear my mother in my head when I’m losing it lately. I don’t want to be the “yeller” like they were, but I totally get some of it now. you’re pushed right to the end of the rope. Actually knowing that and knowing that in thier way and in the arms, they LOVED me and my siblings..makes me calmer when I am losing it, knowing we’ll all get through it and I don’t HAVE to….My kiddos are going to know that I love them even when I yell.
You said it best.
Incidentally, when I was a teenager, I was the least likely person to want to be near my mom when i was grown..mostly because I look so much like her and am so much like her…but through the IF and now through motherhood,she’s the ROCK that keeps me together. She is 10 minutes away and she loves the boys. ADORES is a better word. And it’s nice to see. I didn’t know how she’d do as agrandma (LOL) but it’s amazing to see her with them. I “see her” and it’s amazing.

Good luck to your dad and thanks for this post, it’s wonderful.

By: Ellen K.

Ellen K. — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 12:34:01 +0000

I would love, absolutely LOVE to have my parents close by. They live 4 hours away. D.’s parents are about 45 min away, but it is not the same, and they are not one tenth as helpful as my own parents are or would be.

By: Artblog

Artblog — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 08:03:00 +0000

Lovely post this Serentilty.

I sort of had the same relationship with my mother when I was a kid, we were never very close as a result but since being a parent myself its true you understand them differently. You see things through their eyes and you sort of forgive them for their shouting and lack of parenting skills!

My mum too is amazing when she comes to stay. She tidies, and cooks and babysits. I often think its the fact that we see her only from time to time that keeps us away from each others throats

Hope it all works out if they do come to live nearby, would be nice if it did.

By: Alex

Alex — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:12:23 +0000

I think its great that you’re understanding your parents a bit more. For me I grew up feeling loved and nurtured and protected and respected. So for me its a bit of the opposite that once I grew up and turned into an adult and a parent, I started having problems with my parents. Its like they(mostly my mom) couldn’t accept me as an adult. And it sounds like your parents are better at dealing with you as an adult…and thats a good thing for sure since adulthood lasts much longer than childhood

And the good thing is that 30 minutes away isn’t just down the block…so there would still be some boundaries. And thats a good thing too

By: Somewhat Ordinary

Somewhat Ordinary — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:42:42 +0000

Wow, S, I’ve “known” you for a while now and this post gave me such a great feeling. Over the years you’ve discussed your relationship with your parents and the issues. This seems like such a happy revelation! I lived 6 hours away from all of my grandparents so having my mom and dad here and them getting to have a close relationship with M has been awesome. I hope it all works out!

By: Road Blocks and Roller Coasters

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:24:07 +0000

Having grandparents around is such a blessing. G and I thank our lucky stars that my parents are close by and watch Lemy for us during the day. And she adores them too, which is nice as I don’t feel guilty if I have to leave her for a little bit.

Hoping that it all works out for the best for you and your family!

By: anne

anne — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:16:36 +0000

i love this post. thanks.

By: Delenn

Delenn — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:38:15 +0000

Nice post! I have many issues with my parents, especially my mother–now I do understand both of them more (still have estrangement with my mother, but I can see she really does care for the grandkids).