A New Item on My Bucket List.

January 18, 2010 at 10:09 am | Posted in My life | 16 Comments

So part of the reason why I’m training for a half marathon is because I’ve been keeping a Bucket List.

(Course, I don’t call it a Bucket List. I call it The List of Things I Want To Do Before I Die. And honestly, I prefer MY title of the list. Because the term Bucket List sort of insinuates CLEANING. Mopping. Scrubbing the floor with a dirty rag and dipping it into a bucket of nasty water.

But J thinks that the title of my own list sounds morbid. So Bucket List it is.)

Anyway.

My own personal Bucket List contains such items as run a marathon. (And yes, I am aware that I am training for a HALF marathon in April. However, I am sort of planning to do another in October too. And I still maintain that two half marathons in one year would count as a full marathon.)

Touch every continent once.

Take an African safari.

See every US National Park.

Through hike the Appalachain Trail.

Learn how to ride a motorcycle.

Learn Italian.

All really impractical stuff. But things that I really want to do during the course of my lifetime.

I added one to my list last night.

This weekend I got a chance to visit my friends: D, Baby B, and The Husband. J and O stayed home, had their own little boys weekend, which from what I hear included oil changes, haircuts, football games, and grocery shopping (FUN!).

We went to see the largest cave system in the world, ran 7 miles through steady drenching rain, and ate and drank and stayed up too late.

And because I was traveling ALONE for the first time in like forever, I was able to, you know, actually READ.

One of the books I read (Eat, Pray, Love ) awoke a desire in me which I’m not sure wasn’t there already.

I want to write a book.

I don’t need to get it published. I just want to WRITE it.

I want to write about IF. About how it affected me. About the years of trying to be a mom. About the fear, and managing of it, and the wanting something so badly that I wasn’t sure we’d ever have. About how we tried focusing on other things, but had that nagging sense that we were MISSING something.

How all I could imagine was holding my baby at the end of it all.

But how BACKWARDS that was, because holding my baby at the end of it all was really the BEGINNING of this life I’ve got.

How some days I have all I ever wanted.

How some days I want more.

How some days I feel completely overwhelmed with my life.

I want to take the experiences that are in this blog and make a coherent story, a memoir, about it.

I’m putting this out there because it was such a strong desire last night as I was driving home from the airport. I wanted to stay up and get started last night.

I even know what the first sentence is going to be. It’s STARTED in my head.

Now I just have to get it into the computer.