Night.July 21, 2011 at 12:29 pm | Posted in Battles (aka: toddlerhood), milestones, motherhood | 10 Comments
The tantrums are something else.
He fights us during the day.
All the time. About important things. About not important things.
No, he doesn’t want THAT spoon. He wants a DIFFERENT one.
I DO IT, MOMMY!
No, he cannot get changed right now, because it’s not TIME.
He doesn’t want to watch THIS episode of Peep and the Big Wide World. He wants the ones with the BUBBLES!
No, he absolutely CANNOT GET INTO THE CAR RIGHT NOW!
He yells, he screams, he even hits me.
And the fierceness of his anger scares me, just a little. I worry about teaching him how to control it without ignoring it like I learned to do.
I end my days too late right now: exhausted from work and parenting and running and chores and work stress and summer heat.
I fall asleep nearly instantly.
I am woken up by the sound of a door opening and the patter of his feet in our bedroom.
He stops at the side of my bed, and I tell him that I need to pee, that he can lay down on my side of the bed for a moment, but then we’ll go back into his room, because it’s the middle of the night.
And as I get out of bed, I pick up his slight form and put him on my side of the bed, noting how he burrows in right away once I cover him with his sheet.
When I come back in, he’s snuggled next to his daddy.
So I pick him up; he winds his arms around my neck and buries his face in my shoulder as I carry him back into his room.
And he lays down on his bed, pats his side of the bed, and whispers, Lay down with me, Mommy.
When I lay down, he rolls over so that he’s snuggled against me.
And I listen to him breathe.
And marvel at just how much I can love another person.
This has always been my favorite time with him. When things are quiet.
He always talks in a whisper overnight.
He doesn’t fight me, or yell, or hit.
He just asks me to lay next to him so that he can go back to sleep.
Before I had him, I never knew that love could be so deep, and so pure, and so simple.
So for today, I am thankful for my night of broken sleep.