Single Parenting.

November 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm | Posted in And I ran (I ran so far away), NaBloPoMo | 9 Comments

I knew this was going to happen; yesterday I had sixty different idea for blog posts, which I didn’t write down because I was in the midst of driving myself home from work.

And today? Poof. Gone.

Charlie and I are going to a wedding today; his best man at our wedding is getting married. Lucky is staying with our next door neighbor’s 18-year old daughter, who is planning on taking Lucky to the high school football game. She has lots of plans for him.

Though Charlie and I looking forward to having a date afternoon/evening, it’s yet another day that Lucky and his daddy don’t get to spend together before Charlie needs to get back on a plane tomorrow. And Charlie has to stay in OH another day next week, as his client told him that he NEEDS to be at a meeting on Friday.

*sigh* I’m kinda done with this traveling thing.

It’s not the routine, or the WORK of single parenting that’s hard. We get into a routine, and in a lot of ways, it’s simpler: dinner is quicker, and I can prep ahead of time.

It’s more the emotional drain of not having my partner here. trying to navigate the days on our own. Hard to explain, really.

Single parenting is hard.

Off to spend time with my husband, who is here right now, though. :)

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9 Comments »

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  1. For me it was always the physical part that was the hardest. I actually slept better when I had the bed to myself, but it was much less satisfying. I think that’s probably why I didn’t work so hard to get J out of our bed – I always wanted him there when K was gone. And also, by the end of a long trip, I was always wishing someone would just give me a big hug.

    The parenting itself, though? Not that bad.

    Anyway, you’re almost done!

  2. single parenting is hard Serenity , its really hard … but I hope you never have to find out how hard it REALLY feels … and how it really feels and what means… for once we dont get to say “off to spend time with my husband”

    PS : I am not saying that is not hard having your husband traveling so much and being the parent at home making the decisons and doing most of the work. Good luck

  3. I have to agree with Cibele, Serenity. I really hope you never have to know what it is like to be a single parent because single parenting IS about the the parenting part. It is easy to do routines. It is easy to explain that daddy has a trip, but will be back in a few days. It is not easy to explain that mommy and daddy still love each other, but because of grown up things even grown ups don’t actually understand we can’t live together. It is not easy to deal with totally different parenting styles while living under different roofs. It is not easy to spend holidays apart or navigate functions with split families. I get that it is hard to spend time away from your husband when you are use to tackling parenting duties together, but it is no where near as hard as being a single parent. Count you blessings that you can say that you get to spend some quality time with your husband.

  4. I totally get where you are coming from. When you have a relationship like you and Charlie have, it’s difficult to have your emotional support so far away. I know the few times I’ve had DH gone, it’s the after bed time that I miss him most. The physical distance is hard when you are not used to it buti find the lack of having my sounding board readily available much more challenging.

  5. Serenity, I’m feeling a little offended by the comments here on your behalf! The point of commenting shouldn’t be to try to one-up. I mean, if we want to call a spade a spade, co-parenting in a divorce isn’t *single* parenting either. It’s it’s own creature with it’s own challenges.

    I don’t think there’s anything unclear here about what you’re trying to say regardless of terminology – that it’s not the physical tasks, but rather the emotional alone-ness when he’s gone. And I totally understand that, because that’s a lot how it is for me, too. Just knowing I have no one to fall back on because my support system is hours away and not even really reachable by phone. The stress of knowing if something goes wrong, it’s all on me to fix it, and nothing he can do but hear the story after the fact.

    I hope this week goes by easily for you.

  6. I agree with Cathy. I find some of these comments really disappointing. I hope this week goes quickly for you too. Sending love and light.

  7. I think the comments have been cleared up since. I think the term you’re looking for is FIFO – fly-in-fly-out. You are a fifo family at the moment, which is one set of challenges, not completely the same as what people usually think of as single parenting, which is a permanent/ongoing lack or breakdown of a relationship with a co-parent.

    • Ha! As an accountant, FIFO is first-in-first-out. I like your term, by the way. Will use it. :)

  8. late to comment here but I had this marked unread just because I relate so very much! We’ve had so much FIFO going on in our family the past couple years… and it’s not ending in the new job! Very much relate.


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