So, uh. Hi.

March 25, 2013 at 9:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Yeah, so.

I suppose I’m having a mini-blog identity crisis right now.

It’s not that I have nothing to talk about.

But it’s that I have nothing, really, to TALK about.

Lucky’s accidents are still present. We had a wonderous weekend when he turned 5 with NO ACCIDENTS AT ALL! Fairies danced and sang and his watch buzzed and he actually LISTENED to it and there was not ONE pee stain on his pants.

For two glorious days, I believed that maybe, MAYBE he had decided he was done peeing in his pants for good.

… and then reality set in.

He hasn’t figured out that he actually has to WORK at this Keeping His Underwear Dry thing. And Charlie and I, quite literally, can do nothing to help him. He has a watch that buzzes at set intervals during his day. And it’s his choice as to whether or not he uses the bathroom.

I cannot do the wet underwear/freakout/power struggle/frustration cycle any more. Yes, we’ve tried pretty much everything. And no, it’s never worked for long.

We’re done.

So we’re basically doing the preschooler equivalent of tough love.

Figure it out, kid.

Work is fucking busy. I like this client but there’s WAY more work than I can get through in a 40 hour week, much less reduced hours. So I’m basically adding hours to my weeks with work; instead of a day off I end up working a couple of hours. I feel like I’m juggling and juggling and nothing gets done. Not bills, not chores, not anything.

Running is great. Like awesome great. I’m back at the gym doing strengthwork. I’m running in the double digits comfortably. I am squeezing runs in whenever I can – and it’s no matter if I leave my house at 4:30 in the morning with no food, or 6:15 after a day of family parties where I ate WAYYYY too much and hydrated far too little. My runs are consistent, and pretty good. And I had my first speedwork session where I hit a pace I never thought I was capable of. And it’s only MARCH!

I’m getting plenty of baby time; this weekend I got to put my BFF’s 5 month old son to bed. And I cannot tell you the utter happiness I felt the moment he looked up, his eyes heavy with sleep, and cooed and smiled around his pacifier. I swear, I burst into a million pieces from happiness from one little coo and a smile.

Babies are so awesome.

I did have a moment this weekend at a family party where I realized that my new nephew and Charlie’s cousin’s new baby would have only been a few months older than mine, had I stayed pregnant. It made my eyes sting with tears.

But then I went home and ran 4 miles and remembered the moment my BFF’s son smiled and cooed at me around his pacifier.

This life is pretty damn good, too.

Busy, but good.

I used to think that if I had a magic wand I’d wish myself a baby.

But now?

I need more time. I need another 6 hours in any given day.

With 6 more hours, I can create a budget for our family to know whether or not I can stay home next year if Lucky doesn’t get a full day kindergarten spot. I mean, we’ll figure it out if I CAN’T stay home. But I’d like to. I just have no idea if it’s even an option at this point.

With 6 more hours, I can blog more. About what? I have no idea. But with more time, I might have more ideas percolate up and the time to sketch them into the computer.

With 6 more hours, I can actually FOLD the laundry that’s piled up in the laundry room and change Lucky’s sheets (we’re going on, what, 3 weeks now) and have them washed and folded and pay all the non-routine bills like my speeding ticket and Charlie’s parking tickets.

With 6 more hours, I spend time figuring out what it is I actually want to DO with my life. I have some ideas, but no TIME to develop them.

With 6 more hours, I can catch up on the sleep I lost do Daylight Savings Insomnia.

Alas, the days are not 30 hours long.

So here I am. I am sorry I’ve been an awful blogger. I AM going to do my best to be around more. Promise.

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7 Comments »

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  1. When life gets too busy, everything gets in the way of what YOU want to do, and it happens sometimes, and, all you can do is to keep on telling yourself that you WILL pull through, and you WILL, i can tell you’re a great mom…

  2. I’m so glad the running is going well. I can’t WAIT to see what you accomplish running this year. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the Boston Marathon! And I don’t think you need six more hours a day to accomplish that. ;)

  3. I hear ya on the time thing. Sorry about the frustrations with Lucky, but think the tough love will work!

  4. There are never enough hours in the day in our house, either. Nonetheless- you sound so happy, and that’s awesome! You’ve inspired me to make an effort to start running again- I need some kind of talisman against negativity right now. So thank you!!! Good to hear you sounding at peace! :)

  5. Hugs. I owe you an e-mail reply but things are busy busy here too!

    Even if you feel like you have no time to think about any of it, it is percolating around in your brain, and when you do have time to think it will all come pouring out.

    The running thing is seriously awesome. I am just so impressed.
    xoxo
    T.

  6. 6 more hours. Simply profound.

  7. I think your way of handling Lucky’s wetting is really smart. This is such a big issue for so many families, so I’ll be interested to hear how it goes.


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