Some updates.December 20, 2006 at 12:49 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 15 Comments
I must have written the email I sent my sister-in-law about 50 times yesterday before I actually sent it. I finally emailed it the last time, not because I felt like it was a good email and I captured what I really wanted to say, but because I was starting to feel like any gesture from me would have been a good one.
Funny – I didn’t see my email as gracious. I saw it as selfish. I saw myself telling her that I was happy for her, but because there was still more ahead of us I couldn’t really show it. That HER pregnancy is hard on me. Me me me me me me ME.
Her response was so much more than I deserved.
“Thank you so much for your note. I was really in agony over telling you both because I knew how hard it would be on you. Believe it or not, I actually started crying at my first doctor’s appointment because I was thinking about you, and I told the doctor that you were having trouble, which is really the only sad thing surrounding this. J was so, so wonderful when I told him. I really couldn’t ask for a better brother. I wanted to let him tell you because I knew there would be some sadness about it, and I didn’t want to put you in a “deer in the headlights” position where you had to pretend that everything was wonderful in front of a bunch of other people.
I know it won’t be easy for you, and I don’t want you to feel like you need to pretend that everything is peachy all the time. I can only imagine how hard the past couple of years must have been for you. It’s completely up to you how much you want to talk about it. I’m very excited that Baby G will have an aunt and uncle as wonderful as you and J and trust me, you are ALWAYS in my thoughts. I keep hoping for you, and I just know that whatever happens, whether it be pregnancy, adoption, whatever… you will be wonderful parents.”
This email made me cry. More than once.
(Still, again I must count my blessings. Because this could be so much worse. Really. I am VERY lucky to be part of a family who gets it.
With a family like this, we might actually survive infertility.
One other thing happened yesterday afternoon – I heard from the surgery center of my clinic. My laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, and potential septum resection are scheduled for Thursday, January 4, 2007.
I find it ironic that it took us three weeks to get in touch for him to TELL me that I need surgery, but I can get scheduled for said surgery in two weeks. But it works out well for my schedule at work – we have a couple of weeks of calm and it really begins to heat up on January 15.
A wonderful beginning to the new year – clean out all the crap that’s getting in the way of getting pregnant. Start our cycles with a clean slate. A clean Ute.
I’m really pretty scared, actually. Those of you who have had laps, do you have any assvice to share?