Miscellaneous Monday stuff (with a belated 26w belly pic).

January 7, 2008 at 1:36 pm | Posted in Pregnancy | 22 Comments

I rang in the third trimester this weekend (THIRD FREAKING TRIMESTER people!!!!) with a second set of stretch marks, to the right and below my bellybutton.

Surprisingly, I’m not too upset. They match the ones I have to the left and below my bellybutton, at least.

I know I go on and on about it, but every time Squishy moves inside me, I fall in love with our baby. I feel like the Grinch when the Whos are singing about Christmas – my heart grows three sizes.

So what’s a little thing like a stretch mark anyway?

******

A little more about daycare, at least what I’m thinking right now: There are obviously pros and cons of both a center and in-home. I always thought I’d lean more towards in-home. Because it’s closest to what I’d give our baby if I was able to be a stay at home mom.

After my preliminary discussions, right now I feel more comfortable with the center. Why? I like the idea that there’s more than one caregiver in the room. I like that in a center, there’s no option to plop our child down in front of the TV. I like that, when Squishy grows into a toddler, there’s some structure to the programs. I like how our baby would be able to make “friends” that are his or her own age. I like how business-like the director of the center was, how she knew what questions we’d ask, how they’re having an open house so we can see the center, meet the teachers, and get a chance to ask questions.

But. Probably I shouldn’t get too excited about anything until we see the place. And to be fair, I’m making some assumptions right now – I didn’t spend a lot of time asking questions, since I knew we’d be going to an open house in a couple of weeks. We’ll see.

And. Mind you, I have only spoken with ONE in-home caregiver. So I do need to call a few more in-home places, as I wasn’t all that thrilled with the hours of the one woman I spoke with. Her hours (8-5, M-F) were pretty inconvienent for a full time job. And maybe I just didn’t connect with this one particular woman; perhaps I’ll find another caregiver with whom I have a good connection.

So there’s more work to be done, for sure. I’m more just excited that we have OPTIONS right now. That in itself makes me happy.

******

When we were in Florida, my sister and BIL took a ton of pictures the night when we watched the sun set on the beach.  This weekend she finally sent me a couple of them – so wanted to share with you. Here is my 26 week belly shot with the fantastic sunset in the background.

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And here’s a more straight up belly shot of me, too.

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******

The only new year’s resolution I’ve managed to come up with is that I want to become more productive at work. I’m in my third trimester now. It’s busy season as of next week. I have back trouble; and frankly I’m not sure that I CAN sit in front of a computer for 14-16 hours a day during the week at this point. I can barely sit in a car for an hour nowadays without having to recline.

So I really need to get much more productive with the time I do spend at work. My plan is to see if I can manage all of my work in 12 hour days – I am hoping to leave by 8pm each night.

We’ll see how well I do.

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

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22 Comments »

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  1. Congrats on reaching the third trimester!

  2. Congrats on entering the 3rd trimester. It goes fast doesn’t it?

    I love the beach pic! That is an incredible shot!!

  3. I really like the silhouetted shot!

    I’m glad you’re posting about how you’re going about your daycare search on your blog. Not that I’m near needing to make that kind of choice, but it’s something that worries me, so I like learning how others are going about it.

  4. beautiful pictures of a beautiful you and belly. i am glad to hear that you’ve made peace with the stretch marks. i bet in the next tens years, some doctor somehwere will even a handy little procedure to get rid of them.

    my assvice:re daycare….if possible, i would take the squishter to the center. i, like you, like the idea of more than one pair of eyes. also, centers are more closely monitored by the state (oh! and a lot of them have web cams so that you can look at the classrooms from work!!). now, of course, very very states are good at monitoring anything…like how many paper clips they bought….but i believe in foucalt’s theories….they beleive that they are being monitored more….

    however, *every* child i know of in chidlcare, is in home childcare. and my nephew LIVES for it. in fact, he told his mom, over christmas, that ‘he rather be at school hanging out with his friends…” And they are all so taken care of.

    no matter my assivice…i wish you all kinds of luck in fiding someone and no matter what you do….the squish will be taken care of.

  5. Another point for the center that we absolutely love having- they’re nearly always open. If the teacher is sick, or takes vacation, there is always extra staff to cover. So you’re not stuck at the last minute making arrangements if the in home caregiver is ill, or has a family emergency. In the nearly 4 years we’ve been with our center, I’ve only had to pick Celia up once because the heat was out and tehy didn’t want the kids to freeze while they fixed it (but this was at noon, so they were trying to get it fixed quickly), and once they were closed due to weather, but there was a state of emergency declared, so I couldn’t be upset about that.

    The only downfall, is they are very strict about having sick kids at the center. If she has a fever, is throwing up or has the runs (more than once), she gets sent home. But I prefer it that way anyways. That way other parents don’t drop their kids off when they should be home. And if they do, they’re called to pick them up.

    Good luck with your search!! And great belly shot!

  6. Gorgeous photos of you on the beach!

    But oh my word honey, you have to stay at work til 8 pm?! And that is leaving at a decent hour for you? Can you do any of that work on the laptop at home? Oy!! 🙂 And Oww!! 🙂 Hope work stuff improves!

  7. Looking wonderful as always, and congrats on making it to the 3rd tri! 🙂

    The best advice I received from someone else was to trust my instinct regarding daycares, and it’s so true. You’ll get a feeling of whether it makes you comfortable or not by visiting and talking with the teachers/director/in-home caregiver.

    Hope the weeks continue to fly by!

    D

  8. Nice photos! On the daycare–keep in mind you can start with one and change. For our first, we did in-home daycare until he was about 2 years. Then I noticed that she was not as good at structuring his time (re, he was climbing on the furniture, she was busy with the smaller ones, and no real “field trip” type stuff). We then had him go to a daycare center, and he was there until he was in school. I just felt that home day care was great for all the nuturing, etc. for a newborn, but it wasn’t enough for the social aspects of a toddler…

    We have our first interview with an in-home daycare person tonight…but, I am also sending in our hold deposit on our old daycare center, just in case…

    Good luck!

  9. Third trimester!!!!??? I can’t believe it:) I love the beach belly shot. What a beautiful place.

  10. Congrats on getting to the third trimester!

  11. yay for the pics, you look adorable!

  12. I like the idea of the center — bringing someone into your home is so risky and stressful! At the center you have established protocols and more than one day care provider, lots less can go wrong (I think). And you will make friends with new moms with babies the same age as Squishy, and Squishy will make friends too. Yay for symmetrical stretch marks!

  13. Congrats on reaching the third trimester!The pciture of you on the sunset is just gorgeous!!! you look great my friend

  14. Congratulations on your third trimester–exciting times! I’ve been reading the last few entries about day care and now I feel that I have to chime in. Daycare for a baby is awful, no matter how you look at it. I realize that it’s a part of our culture to place our babies in the care of others for obscene amounts of time per day, but it just ain’t right. Babies need to be with their mommies and/or daddies (for the most part, there are exceptions and what not).

    One commenter above stated that the only “downfall” to daycare centers is that they don’t allow sick, throwing up kids to attend, after which she acquiesced that this was actually good because then sick kids don’t infect her kid. How about it’s a good thing because throwing up babies should be with their loving parents not some person paid to deal with them!?

    There is a time and a place for daycare for children…it’s called preschool. It’s a kind of sickness in our society that allows parents to think it’s ok to place their 6 week old or 8 week old or 6 month old in a center to be raised each weekday by a virtual stranger.

    As a new mother of a one month old and someone who has also struggled with fertility, someone whose family finances could certainly use that second income, someone who is also highly educated and career oriented, I could not imagine passing my little vulnerable baby off to someone else and heading back into the office. She needs me more than we need that income and more than I need to use those diplomas right now. I would rather my husband and I sell our home, cars, and move in with my parents before I would do that.

    You or your husband can reinvent yourselves in your careers a million times over, but you only have one chance to love and parent your baby. One shot, so why pass that luxury off to someone else? Do you really think a wage earner at a care center has enough kisses, hugs, and loves for your baby? No where near the amount you can and will give him/her…so why deprive your child?

    I’m sorry to be preachy, and I won’t post again, but I had to say it. Every commenter seems to be so supportive of daycare and applauding your efforts to research them, I just can’t believe no one has brought up the fact the daycare = someone else raising your kid.

  15. You look radiant!

  16. Yeah–3rd trimester?!? It seems SO unreal, huh?!

    I love the photos! I haven’t let a photo be taken of me. I’m pretty sure I’ll live to regret that someday…

    And, btw, I can’t believe how much you still have to work. Be sure to take care of yourself!

  17. Trimester number three! And with a third-trimester bump to show for it. You look all pregnant and stuff.

    I guess people have strong opinions about daycare. Personally, I lean towards it being a parent (or close relative) in charge wherever possible, especially in the very early stages, and I do think there’s more room in most people’s budgets than they think (and that the “profit margin” on going back to work is usually less than people expect). We’ve just been through so many income gaps since we got married, and were always stressed about how to make ends meet with simple things like food and a roof over our heads, and it was amazing how much further we could make the money stretch when we had to – like me quitting work a year ago, starting a master’s degree, and continuing with IVF, for example. I must say I don’t worry so much about where the money is coming from any more.

    But that’s our financial situation. I don’t know that much about yours. And I’d say the pros and cons of staying home vs using outside care have already occurred to you and you’ve been over them thoroughly enough. So whilst I would encourage you, as an educated woman who can get decently-paid work, to leave a little wiggle room for seeing how the budget pans out and also how you adapt to parenthood so you can leave yourself open to changing your mind about working/staying at home later down the track, in the end I think you should make the best choice for your own family, with your own unique situation in mind.

    I don’t envy you the next couple of months’ work.

    Bea

  18. Comments like Casey’s make me really sad because they remind me that so many moms just can’t find it in themselves to be supportive of other moms and instead make judgments on others’ personal situations. Daycare is NOT letting a virtual stranger “raise” your kids.

    I could go on and on about why daycare has been a great situation for us, but I think the argument is lost on people like this who won’t consider other viewpoints anyway. There’s often enough guilt associated with putting your child in daycare, especially when returning to work is a necessity rather than a choice, and no wonder that’s the case with comments like this that run rampant among moms.

    D

  19. Okay, I gotta say I agree with andbabymakesthree. It’s great and all if you can have a choice and can afford (or change your lifestyle to afford) being at home. But most people I know (including me) cannot. Financially it won’t work. And frankly, having had my child in many different situations, having been raised in a family in which my mother was a daycare provider, and having the non-luxury of having any relatives (until last year) live near me…I think I can have some authority to know what works and what doesn’t for me. I can safely say: My son and I have a strong bond and it has nothing to do with the amount of time I have spent with him—its called QUALITY time for a reason, people. Ugh…sorry, I don’t mean to rant…I leave now….

  20. The third trimester….WOW. My eyes get teary when I think of how far you have come after all you have endured. I keep telling you how happy I am for you but it is SO true.

    It struck me, when I looked at your belly shot, that you look like other healthy pregnant women that I have seen……if I didn’t know you, I would have NO idea what you have been through. It makes me realize both that it really CAN happen and that the assumptions I make about other pregnant women (i.e., that they TTC naturally, etc.) may not be valid. Not that I expect that any of us have a scarlett “I” on our chests (or bellies) but that we can go on to have healthy pregnancies.

    Geesh, I hope this post makes sense. I am not exactly sure if I can articulate it….

    XOXOXOX

  21. Holy cow…those are some strong oppinions. Personally I could go on and on about what choice was right for me. But it won’t help much. Let me only say that if I’ve learned anything at all being a parent it’s that you have to do what’s right for you. You can read all the books you want, have all the theories in the world and at the end of the day you do what you do. Whatever decision allows you to spend your time with your baby in the happiest and most nurturing state possible – super.

    Also, I do believe that more love can never be a bad thing. I worked in a daycare center and I know I loved the children under my care. My daughter is in an in home daycare and her provider has become one of my best friends and loves Ella like her own family. And yes, to some degree she is raising Ella…but so am I. That’s the case no matter what choice you make. Even if you stay at home someone has to be helping you. It does take a village and a lot of love.

    Best of luck to you. You have helped me learn a lot about infertility while a family member went through it. You are brave to share your journey and your thoughts and it is very much appreciated.

  22. I am IN LOVE with the sunset shot. You must frame that (or make it the first shot in Squishys baby book or something!) It’s simply wonderful.
    When I think about the third trimester I just get this feeling of “I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it!” I have the feeling that just as it starts to be real it’s going to be all over…
    Best of luck with the daycare decisions. (I have no advice to lend…) Whatever choice you make will be the best for you and J, I am certain. AND: here’s one great thing about life: you can always change your mind!


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