Third trimester musings.

January 18, 2008 at 2:38 pm | Posted in Pregnancy | 17 Comments

Again, please stop over to Mary Ellen’s blog and give her your hugs and good thoughts.

I want a miracle for them more than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life. I even prayed for them last night.

I think the last time I prayed for real was when my cousin Amy died.



Those of you who have clicked through to my blog have probably seen that I put one of those pregnancy tickers up. I haven’t had one of those for a while now – I think I moved over to when I was about 15-16 weeks or so. To see how much time has passed, and how few days I have left… well, it’s pretty cool.

And a little scary.

But I was thinking about it this morning. Honestly, what really do we NEED to do? We need to set up the crib, I suppose – though my SIL is going to loan us our nephew’s bassinett too, just in case we can’t get Squishy to sleep in the crib right away. We need a carseat, which, according to our registry, has been purchased. I’ll need to wash some of the clothing which I got over Thanksgiving, when my mom threw me a shower.

We’ve taken our childbirthing preparation class. My hospital offers in-patients classes on breastfeeding and newborn care on the post-partum floors, so we won’t have to worry about that until Squishy is here. We have a place for him/her to sleep.

So. Really. There isn’t all that much we NEED to do to prepare for his/her arrival.

What the heck am I stressing about then?

I think part of it is the mental component. J and I are 32. Our whole adult lives we’ve lived only for us. And now, in only 78 days… well, our life as we know is going to completely change. 

And I suppose I just feel sort of, well… unprepared. Which is funny, isn’t it? Because by the time Squishy is actually here, in my arms, it will have been more than THREE YEARS since we first started trying. 

Thing is. Back when we started trying, I was probably pretty unprepared for dealing with infertility, too.

So I have to think that we’ll muddle through parenting, too. We’ll figure it out, and it might take a little time, but we’ll be fine in the end.

And in the shower this morning, I realized I just need to let go of the worrying already. Because, honestly. J and I are SO FUCKING LUCKY to even get a chance to do this. And I do already love this baby (even if it’s in a vague sort of way which I can’t quite put my finger on).

We’re going to be fine. We’ll figure it out in the end.

Just like every other new parent out there. 



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  1. Yeah, you guys will figure things out! Sort of like how on-the-job training is always way more of an education than nearly any class you’d take in college. There are so many possible scenarios to prepare for that you’d drive yourself crazy trying to prepare for every single one.

    Just don’t forget that very soon you’ll have to account for a car seat being in the car when figuring out the maximum number of people your car can hold. 😉


  2. I like that analogy to on-the-job training. I think it is pretty rare to NOT figure out how to do it. I admit I’ve worried about that, too. It’s been so long that I’ve been married and just thinking about the 2 of us, and sometimes I get so focused on the 2 pink lines I forget about what’s on the other end. But the fact is, if I ever have a baby, I’ll adjust gladly to the new reality. You will too.

    I can’t wait to be reading your experiences of parenting on this blog in a few months. 🙂

  3. Yes, you will figure it out as you go along…remember to laugh b/c it makes everything feel better. Oh and it is okay to cry to! Glad everything is going well.

  4. Car seat, place to sleep, some clothes that have already been cleaned, diapers and the accesories that go with, a blanket or two (again, that has already been washed) –
    possibly bottles or pacifiers, depending on how you plan to feed/if you’re using pacifers.

    I think, for the first little bit, you’re good with the minimums. You’ll discover what you need beyond that. Personally, I was raised by a former Girl Scout Troup Leader – I am all about “be prepared.” I can’t let it go easily – so I know I’m going to have way too much stuff and I’m already stressing over it. You’re doing great.

  5. i’m about two weeks behind you. . . we haven’t done ANYTHING. “the room” isn’t even cleared out. i know that you don’t really need much in the beginning, but there is something about “being ready” (which i can’t even really define) that is of growing importance.
    that said, since you’re not me, i can tell you that you don’t need to worry! 🙂 everything will fall into its rightful place in time.

  6. You are going to be fine! actually more than fine, you will do just great as a mother! Congratulations on your third trimester!!!

  7. De-Lurking to say that I think you will be an absolutely wonderful mother. Your instincts will kick right in once Squishy is born.

    Prayers have been said for Mary Ellen, Steve, and the babies.

  8. You aren’t going to be like any other parents! You will be way above average. 🙂

  9. I agree with Christiana about minimums. When we brought Sean home, he didn’t even have a bedroom!! He was about 8 weeks old before we did that. He had a bassinett, some sleepers, bottles & pacis, and some blankets. Oh, and a carseat. Yep, that’s ALL we had prepared before he was born. We did everything else afterward (not quite sure HOW, but we did). And you’re right: Squishy will change everything about how you live. But you’ll hardly even notice :-).

  10. BTW, I linked your blog to my new blog!!! I hope you don’t mind!

  11. hi, I was wondering if you could tell me how to post that pregnancy ticker, I made one at lilypie but I don’t know how to post it. Thanks

  12. Congrats on Third Trimester! As long as you got the basics, which it sounds like you do, you’ll be fine. A lot of parenting is really common sense, and the beginning is more procedural (baby poops, you change, baby sleeps, you sleep, baby feeds, you feed, etc.). You both will be fine!

    Lack of sleep is the worst–try to do shifts to make up the lack of sleep…

  13. It’s true…you don’t need a lot of things to be prepared. Emphasis on things. Preparing yourself mentally is probably even more important.
    Got the book ‘baby whisperer’ yet?
    You can do this. I will be hard at times. There is a learning curve.
    About parenting…it doesn’t really happen right off the bat.
    Have prayed for M.E.
    Keep up the good work.

  14. I think you will do better than average, which is to say not perfectly, but pretty damn well.


  15. Wow! That is a very scary and very exciting thought!
    I am terrified and I am not even pregnant yet 🙂
    But hey, if our parents/friends/siblings could do it then so can we.

  16. I’m pretty confident that you guys will be great. I can’t wait to read your posts as a new momma (or mommy or mama as my little one calls me…) so flippin’ exciting!

    There’s not much to do. Do you have receiving blankets to swaddle and stuff? Face cloths? Towels? Is someone throwing you another shower? I’m trying to think of the things I needed most in the beginning. I’ll keep thinking….


  17. Yes, you will figure it out. I think the waiting so long, and not ever really knowing whether it will happen for us has a lot to do with the worrying we do and the wierd wonderings. You will be great parents! Not long now, yay!!!

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