One week old. And yes, it’s THAT post. About feeding.

March 24, 2008 at 5:12 pm | Posted in Boobs, The first month | 36 Comments

*Tap Tap* 

Hello? Is this thing on????

So yeah. Not so good about the posting anymore, am I? Problem is, every time I try and post, my son cries. To be picked up. To be fed. And since I am breastfeeding, well, it’s all up to me.

(Yep. You heard that right.)

I can actually breastfeed.

My milk came in on Friday. Since then, Baby O has put on 6 oz… and as of today, is within an ounce of his birth weight. 

Gosh. There’s so much to tell you all.

The feeding started off really slowly. I had done almost NO research, since I was pretty convinced that I wasn’t going to be able to BF. I told everyone in the hospital about the fact that I had a reduction 10 years ago and my surgeon gave me a 30% chance of BFing. I was all for formula, but really wanted to try to feed Baby O if I could.

Last Tuesday, one of the lactation consultants looked at the amount of colostrum I was expressing and said “honey, you are not going to have an issue with supply.”And sure enough… on Friday my milk came in, and I was pumping 3-4 ounces at a time.

It’s totally crazy… somehow I finally came in on the other side of the odds.

Course, it’s not EASY per se. Baby O is a lazy sleepy baby, so we’re using a nipple shield to entice him to eat more. And in the beginning, he wouldn’t nurse more than 10 minutes at a time without falling asleep. Until yesterday afternoon, we basically had to remove almost every stitch of clothing in order to wake him up enough to get him to nurse. And I’ll tell you, there were moments (like at 3am when he refused to latch, where I KNEW he was hungry, and his tiny “La la la” cry made me bawl right along with him. Or the time where he didn’t pee for almost 24 hours. Or when my cracked bleeding nipples screamed in protest when he finally did latch on.) where I almost gave up and just fed him formula.

Breastfeeding is sort of taking it on faith that everything’s working the way it should, really. You can’t tell how much food your baby is getting. And when you have a sleepy baby who doesn’t really care to eat… well… let’s just say all my questions related to Baby O for the nurses had to do with feeding.

And you know. I am not so much one to take ANYTHING on faith. I’ve just gotten used to coming in on the wrong side of the statistics.

But. It seems that, so far anyway, I can feed him.

When we got home from the hospital on Friday, I found a pump on craig.slist. And I made J go out and pick it up. And every day that I pump, I get a thrill out of seeing how much milk I’m producing. Despite the fact that pumping SUCKS. Hurts like a bitch. So does BFing, for what it’s worth.

But feeling my son’s (my son! will I ever get used to that phrase?) slack weight against my skin when he feeds… seeing his tiny fist against me… and inhaling his sweet smell… is SO worth every moment of pain.

So that’s feeding. So far, so good.

The sleep part? Ok, not so much. The first night home from the hospital I barely slept a wink. I listened all night for breathing in the bassinet next to my side of the bed. I waited for Baby O to cry.

The past two nights I’ve spent more time out of my bed than in it… nursing my kid.

I know – they say that you should sleep when the baby sleeps. Really, I have good intentions.

Problem is, I gave birth two weeks before I expected to. Which means that J and I came home to an absolutely horrid dirty house. And though I’m still recovering from my c-section… my mother is coming to visit on Saturday. I CANNOT let her see the squalor we lived in before the baby came. So I’m trying to make sure that things are straightened. And neatened. And dusted a bit.

Plus, it makes me feel human again. Because of the aforementioned feeding… sometimes I feel a little bit like a momma cow. Doing things around the house makes me feel a little more like ME. Not some feeding machine.

So. Emmm.

Baby O is totally mellow. I know, I know. He’s early. And he might not be this mellow when he really WAKES UP in a few weeks.

But for now? J and I marvel that, when he cries… it’s usually for a reason. He’s hungry. He has gas. He’s cold (boy does he HATE diaper changes). Otherwise, when he’s awake and alert, he just hangs out. One chill baby – that’s Baby O.

And J?

I can’t even begin to tell you how awesome of a father J makes. He did all the diaper changes in the hospital. He was the one who told me that we should buy a pump. He forces me to take naps. He won’t let me do anything around the house. He makes me laugh in my weepy moments when I’m convinced I’m a bad mother. He adores Baby O.

It’s amazing to see him… and I fall in love with him again every day.


So yeah. We’re pretty boring lately. Our lives seem to revolve around our son. And I’m sure that someday I’ll have something else to talk about. But for today?

I’m so freaking happy.

We are SO lucky.



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  1. The breastfeeding will likely get easier. I still feel like a mama cow sometimes at 4 months out, but Ethan is eating more at a time and less often now. And my nipples hurt bad enough that my toes curled when he latched at first, but that was gone in a couple weeks. THAT will def. get better. Have you been using a lanolin cream? That helped me.

    I’m so glad things are going well so far. 🙂

  2. B’feeding does get easier! It’s definitely something that takes some getting used to, so hang in there!!

  3. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I am thrilled for all of you!

  4. Yes, the owies will get better and in time, latch will feel like no big deal. Of course right now that is tough to believe. Try the lanolin cream — definitely helps.

    Congrats on falling on the right side of stats! I’m thrilled for you!

  5. Sounds like a good post to me 🙂 It’s so nice to see things fall into place.

  6. I’m so happy BFing is working for you, though of course I hope it gets easier as time goes on. Amazing 🙂

  7. Breastfeeding definitely gets easier. The soreness goes away and eventually you will be able to feed and pump without it hurting — and it will get faster as he gets older too. It does get much, much better. The first few weeks are definitely the most difficult. If you can hang on through the first month you’ll be set!

    I am so glad you guys are doing well! I am so excited for you, J, and Baby O. A family of three!! You are lucky!

  8. Glad to hear things are going well for you! Even though I did BF with Michael (and intend to do it with Willow), I never found it that easy until he was about 4 months old. And the first 6 weeks—I actually started to MOO literally. Expressing is good tho–last time I did not do that that well, but gonna Rent a pump from the hospital and try harder…I want my husband and son to bottle feed her sometimes–maybe make me feel less of a cow.

    As for cleaning up the house, I get ya—BUT you are handling a lot right now—surgery and a new baby! So don’t overdo!! 🙂

    Congrats on being THREE!

  9. Welcome home baby O!

    I’m thrilled for you and J – you guys worked so hard to get here and you deserve every joy there is.


  10. So glad that the breastfeeding thing is going well. I know you were SO prepared for it not to work. I’m glad to see you were pleasantly surprised for once!

    Hang in there. It’s funny, my kids STILL yell during the diaper changes a lot … and I’m always like “WE’VE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE THE MINUTE YOU WERE BORN!”

    But, they still aren’t loving it … you’d think they wouldn’t know any different!

    Enjoy every moment of this amazing time. I wished so much of it away (just wanted some sleep) but it goes SO quickly! Relish him, kiss him, smell him, cuddle him. You deserve everyone minute of this wonderful joy you’ve found.

    And as a final note, NOTHING makes you fall in love with your husband all over again like watching him with your child.

    Sending love!

  11. Such great news. All of it. Congrats.

  12. Have you considered having him sleep in the bed with you, or at least nurse while you’re lying down? That’ll save you a *lot* of up-and-down time! Nursing lying down was actually more comfortable for me, too. At first, I was nervous to have my baby sleep with me–I was afraid I’d roll over on him or something–but the reality is, unless you’re taking something to help you sleep or have been drinking or something, you’re going to be aware of where your baby is. I snuggled with my son right by me, and it really made it possible for me to get as much sleep as possible.


  13. yea Serenity’s boobs! this is great news.
    i hear it keeps getting easier, so hang in there, miss!

    oh, and hire a house cleaner — quick! you’ll never regret it!

  14. BFing does get easier! And, when you think about it, it’s often a whole lot more convenient to BF than to stumble around at night and make a bottle (or heat a pre-made one). You’re doing a great job so far!! It’s hard to get around feeling like a cow, but one thing that did help me early on was remembering that in the big scheme, BFing was just a temporary inconvenience, you know?

    It sounds like you, J, and Baby O are all doing well!! It sounds like everything you’re experiencing so far is quite normal. 🙂

    Enjoy your little guy. 🙂 This is such a special time, despite the lack of sleep and a dirty house!


  15. Oh how wonderful!!! I am so happy for you being able to breastfeed your son. It’s about time you caught a break! I hope it gets easier for you.

  16. Girl I am so happy for you!! Great on the breastfeeding to!! I could have written your posts just a few short weeks ago, and I am still in wonder and amazment, so it sticks with you, but it is FANTASTIC!!! He is such a little doll to!! You hang in there Mommy!!!

  17. Hey! Right side of the stats! Just read through your birth story – amazing times. Hope you’re getting nice and settled in.


  18. Dear Serenity, it’s so wonderful to hear you so very happy! And I’m so glad that breastfeeding is going well. You certainly deserved to have something go smoothly!

    The first weeks are so hard. But do try to sleep when you can! (BTW, is there any way you can hire a cleaning service so you can get some rest?)

  19. Glad the breast feeding is working.

  20. Congrats on everything! I know it’s been said already, but the BFing really will get easier. Before you know it you’ll be walking around the house actually DOING stuff holding him with one arm while he feeds. I know, I know, I never would have believed it either, but seriously it will happen! Congratulations to all of you and enjoy!

  21. Hope it makes you happy that you have left me in tears again… 🙂

    Seriously, I am deleriously happy for you. I am SO glad that *finally* you got lucky. That you can BF. That the baby is healthy. That J is an awesome father.

    You worked so hard to get here… deserve every moment of joy and more!!

    Sending love to all 3 of you….


  22. Serenity…….I have been reading your blog since I saw your good news (BFP) posted over on Smarshy’s Blog. I feel as though a close friend has accomplished one of their biggest dreams by following your progress throughout your pregnancy. I am THRILLED that baby O made it into this world, into your loving arms, without a scratch and is thriving so amazingly. You guys are doing an AMAZING job and Baby O is very lucky to have such wonderful parents.

    I am tickled to death that the BF thing has worked out for you, too! I know there’s nothing like it…….holding this amazing little person…….knowing he is a complete make up of you and J. Just AMAZING!!

    Thank you so much for being so open and sharing of your life with us bloggers out here (even the lurkers like me 🙂

    Hugs to your amazing family!!!

    Shannon from TN

  23. i am so freakin happy that bfeeding is going so well! yeah, s’s bobbies!!!!!! it has got to be an awesome thing, if painful.
    HIRE A HOUSEKEPPER!!! they are not too $$$, ms. cheapie, and worth every penny. seriously.
    still tickled for you two.
    enjoy, blog if and when you can and feeli like it. we’ll all still be here, rootin for the trhee of you.

  24. Glad to hear that the feeding is going well. And Baby O sounds so sweet!! Enjoy every moment…it goes by way too quickly!

  25. After all of the worry and anxiety, I’m so happy to hear that Baby O is doing well! The fact that he’s almost back up to birthweight is fantastic!

    BFing will get easier and shouldn’t be all that uncomfortable in a couple of weeks. I didn’t get sore with #1, but I did with #2-different kids I guess. Use the lanolin afterwards-it really does help. Isn’t it nice when your body FINALLY cooperates?


  26. I’m happy to hear BFing is working out for you, Serenity! I admire your persistance (I didn’t have it in me, LOL). I keep checking your blog obsessively, even though it wasn’t too long ago when I was the one with a newborn and could only write if/when I found a free moment. So I know the feeling. No worries. But umm…well…where’s the pictures? Heehee!

  27. I’m glad that BFing is going better than expected!

  28. I’m so glad nursing is going well! It’s so fantastic to finally hear the words “my son” from you!! I love it very much:) The whole sleep when they sleep thing was very hard for me, so you’re not alone! 🙂

  29. Congratulations on the breastfeeding! I find it to be the most difficult yet most rewarding aspect of being a mom to an infant! As uncomfortable as it can be, it’s nice to be forced to slow down and engage in some “quiet time” with your little baby…it also gives you an excuse to read magazines!

  30. You’re a total natural at this Mom thing, by the sounds of it! Congrats!

  31. So happy for you.
    If you are making that much milk, it is possible he gets all he needs in those 10 mins. Our first pediatrician was giving me shit about Monkey only being able to eat for that long or a bit longer and only one boob. Until I told her how much came out of the other one when I pumped after the feeding. Than she chilled.

    Also, if it makes you feel human to clean, you are sooooo welcome to come over to my house. That’s my least favorite domestic activity.

  32. I’m so glad you’re able to BF! I think having a slightly early baby adds yet another layer of complication to the BFing thing, so I’m extra pleased for you!

    Welcome to motherhood! Isn’t it incredible?

  33. Congrats Serenity! He is a beautiful baby boy and I am so glad that breastfeeding is going well. Enjoy, even if you are stone tired!

  34. Serenity,
    How great that you can breastfeed, you were so worried. IF the cracked painful nipples don’t heal up soon, check with the pedi about thrush ( yeast). I suffered much longer with painful nursing than I needed too thinking it was just a part of the whole getting used to nursing thing. Oh blessed relief when the thrush was cured! It was like a whole different experience. Much less painful. And don’t worry about your house! It will give your mom something to do, as she can do laundry, fix meals and hold the babyso you can catch up on some sleep.

  35. Look at you breast feeding mama! Rock on! I know that its really hard at first, you rock for sticking it out and giving it a try! we are in our 11th week and it is much, much easier. one word for you…”lanolin”

    Please stop cleaning, it will give your Mom something to do when you’re breast feeding!

  36. I’m so glad you are doing well with the breastfeeding. It is one of the best things ever once you get it going, but yes, it can be a tough slog to start.

    Just keep waking that baby up hon!

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