Saturday musings.

April 12, 2008 at 5:50 pm | Posted in The first month | 9 Comments

So much to tell you all.

So hard to freaking REMEMBER IT ALL. Seriously. Every time I sit down to write a blog post… POOF! Every thought I had about Baby O and being a mom flies out of my head.

I suppose I’ll stick with lists. I think in them lately. Hope you don’t mind.

1. I am proud to report that Baby O and I have gone more than 72 hours without using the nip.ple shield. We’re re-learning how to latch, but so far I have managed to keep my cool (even at 3 in the morning!) so that I don’t frustrate Baby O. He’s learning, I’m learning – and we’re getting there.

Of course, it means my poor nips are the sorest they’ve been in my 32 years of life.

But hey. 30% chance of breastfeeding, right? 

Not going to complain about a little nip pain.

2. The sleep deprivation is KILLING me. Enough so that, gas and fussiness be damned, I added coffee back into my diet – my morning cup of joe. Makes me feel human.

And so far Baby O seems to be ok.

Knock on wood, of course.

But seriously, people. By the 4am feeding, I’m so tired that I make J get up and change Baby O’s diaper. I LITERALLY fall back asleep as soon as they’re out of the room. Enough so that I’ve woken up to J standing over me, squalling baby in his arms, saying “Ummm… Serenity? Are you going to feed him?”

The good news is that I’ve managed to sleep through Baby O’s squawks, grunts, and other newborn noises. He is NOT a soft sleeper, my son.

3. I actually got out on my own yesterday – had dinner with a girlfriend while J and Baby O had a “guys night.” They watched the Red Sox/Yankees game and the Masters and had a great time.

Until I came home, anyway… where Baby O had a fussy attack that lasted well until 12:30am. Poor baby.

The good news is that he slept from 12:30 until 4 this morning. And then he went back down until 6:30, when J took him downstairs to hang out while I got to sleep in.

You know, until 7:30.

When he needed to eat again.

4. My parents left on Friday afternoon.

What? You didn’t know they were here? Yep, they were. Both my parents were in town for the past two weeks. My mother cleaned our house from top to bottom. She cooked us meals. She did laundry. My father recaulked our shower for us.

All in all, I think it was a successful trip – and she didn’t really get on my nerves much at all. I think it helped that the focus was on Baby O and not me. Or her. And it was so nice to be able to give her the sleeping baby so I could take a shower. Or take a nap.

And when Baby O spit up what I believe was the entire contents of his stomach, it was wonderful to have my mom here to calm me down.

5. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that a little over a year ago, I had resigned myself to the fact that we might never have children. There really are no words to describe how lucky and humble I feel.

And I confess – I feel a little guilty, too – given how many of my blogger friends who are still in the trenches. I find myself wondering why we got so lucky – how did we manage to get everything we wanted when so many people haven’t yet?

Of course I know it’s not about who’s deserving and who isn’t.

But still.

6. My SIL has been FANTASTIC these past few weeks. Before my parents came to see us, she called me daily. She came over so I could shower one afternoon. She’s offered to help me with the birth announcements.

I think she really had it bad with post partum depression, and she knows how hard this all is. And because of that, she’s been really sweet in making sure that I’m not overwhelmed with everything.

Again, I take back everything mean I ever said about her. She’s a gem, and I’m very very lucky.

7. My own recovery is going very well now – my incision has all but healed, so I’m off the ibrup.rofen mostly – with the exception of 800mgs just before bed. My bleeding has mostly stopped – I just need a pantyliner nowadays.

And according to my scale, I’m 6lbs from my BFP weight, and 16 from my “ideal” weight. Granted, I’m much softer. And my belly will never really be the same. But I am feeling a lot more like myself – like my body is MINE again.

And I am SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE, people. No more back pain. No rib pain. No heartburn. No need for a body pillow. No Braxton Hicks. No being out of breath. I don’t pee every 5 minutes anymore. I can eat more than a thimbleful of dinner at a sitting.

I love feeling like myself again.

So now all we need to do is get Baby O to sleep through the night… and we’ll be golden.

🙂

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9 Comments »

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  1. You sound great! So glad for you, J., and Baby O.

  2. As always, I can relate to most everything that you have written here.
    You sound so happy, sleep deprivation and all.
    I hear you on the “not having the same body” anymore, and I certainly don’t miss the heartburn, rib pain, pelvic pressure etc.. either!
    Can’t wait to hear more in your next post.
    Love to you, J and Baby O.

  3. I’m glad to see that everything is going well. Take care!

  4. Do you snuggle wrap? Honest, I think that that’s why my kids both slept through the night. Ethan took a while longer than Ava to get used to it, but he does now. Ava, right from the start. It’s worth a shot. After all, there’s not a shred of genetic material shared there, and they both did it.

    Glad things are going well. Always good to hear from you!

  5. May the gods of sleeping through the night smile upon you, and soon.
    30%, ha? Nice to come out on the wrong side of the odds and it be a good thing for a change.

  6. Sounds great! The sleep deprivation is rough stuff. What the books will tell you is that by the time they’re 11 pounds they “should” be able to go five hours without eating/waking. The reality is that breastfed babies more often will continue to wake every three hours until they get on solids…so don’t be too discouraged if that’s what happens to Baby O. For the longest time I thought my little girl was a freak insomniac baby cause “all the books said…” After talking with lots of mothers I find that her sleep schedule is more normal than I thought. Dang books.

  7. Glad to hear from you that things are going well overall. You’ll make it out of the newborn fog before long!! Just think of it this way…Baby O won’t be waking up every 2-3 hours for the next 18 years. Sounds good with him getting some longer stretches in…you can see the potential is there. And I definitely have proof that BF babies can sleep all night pretty early, so maybe that can give you some hope?

    Keep up the good work! You’re doing a great job, and I’m sure you’re gaining a little confidence each day.

    D

  8. Goes to show – the people who irritate us through infertility often just plain don’t know how to deal with it. Throw them into a newborn situation, and great. One day people will learn how to deal with infertility as well.

    Keep healing and feeding – all sounds positive! I’m sure the sleeping will happen sooner or later.

    Bea

  9. sleep o! sleep!


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