The obligatory post about poo.

May 5, 2008 at 7:34 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments

I never expected my life would revolve around when Baby O poops.

But then again, I didn’t expect a lot of things.)

Baby O, well, strains a lot to poo.

It usually starts at his last feeding of the night/early morning. He’ll doze off in my arms, but as soon as I put him down into his cradle, his feet jack up to a 90 degree angle against his body, his eyes pop open, and he starts squeaking and grunting. If the light was on, you could see that his face is dark red.

At this point, forget about sleeping, because the noises coming from the cradle will only get louder and more insistent.

We give him a pacifier, which he sucks vigorously while complaining “ay ay ay ay ay ay AY” around it. (Which, I have to admit, makes me laugh. It’s CUTE!) And we’ll unwrap him from his Mi.racle Bla.nket so that he can freely kick and wave his fists.

This routine continues for an hour, maybe two. He’ll cry and complain. His brow furrows. Sometimes he’ll feed angrily, as if he’s hoping that new milk will help him get rid of the old.

And finally, he’ll relax… and fill his diaper. And we’ll usually give him a few minutes to make sure he’s done, but generally we’ll change him right away. Because it’s usually a pretty full diaper at that point.

Rinse, repeat. This routine of sorts happens daily.

And we always have advanced warning of poo, at least in the morning.

So Friday morning, after we went through our typical routine, I waited the requisite few minutes before I brought him over to the changing table. He seemed relaxed and mellow, so I went ahead and opened up his diaper, which was very dirty.

I cleaned him down, and as I was lifting his legs to slide the new diaper underneath him…

… he pooped.

Pretty much all over. I swear to G-d, I’ve never seen so much poo. And it went EVERYWHERE – off the changing table onto his bouncer (which thankfully was close to the changing table). On my shirt. On his clothing.

There was NO advanced warning. No brow furrow. No crying. No complaining. Nothing.

All I could do was laugh. Loudly.

Look at how my life has turned out. Last year at this time, I wasn’t sure we were even going to be parents. I was starting to accept that maybe it wouldn’t happen for us.

And here I am. Covered in poo. More tired than I’ve ever been in my life. Wondering how it is that only a few months ago I could juggle an obscene amount of work related to multiple clients and deadlines, but now have so little brain function that I can’t manage to remember pretty much anything. (I swear, he’s sucking brain cells out my boo.bs. I’m more and more convinced of this every day.)

But also. I am so freaking happy. Despite the lack of sleep. Despite feeling like I have absolutely no control over any part of my life anymore. Baby O is truly the best thing that’s happened to us. And I can’t wait to see what kind of man he will be.

Funny the sort of things you think about when you’re standing there, covered in poo.

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14 Comments »

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  1. Ah, the Poo Post. πŸ˜‰ Really, though, I think you *have* to laugh at those sorts of things. I figure there’s not much to be gained by being upset about it, so might as well continue having some fun. πŸ™‚ Needless to say, we are a silly household. πŸ™‚

    D

  2. OMG- I am laughing so loud. Like I never have at a post before! Because I SO can relate.

    We go through the straining, kicking routine about 5 times a day (thank goodness it does not last anywhere near an hour!!) I have to give the baby time, because he poos 3-4 times in a row. I learned this pretty quickly, but my husband is still thinks the baby is done after one “push” and he ends up having to clean poo off of various things often.

    All we can do is laugh. I mean, it’s FUNNY being covered in poo. Like you, I’m just so thrilled to HAVE my beautiful baby whose parts are all working great!!

    Happy pooping, Baby O!

  3. Hooray for the poop!

  4. Oh I’m laughing out loud. I promise it does get better! I remember thinking the same things when my little one first came home.

  5. I can’t help but laugh!! You will HAVE to share that story with Baby O when he is old enough to get embarrassed by it. It’s hilarious!!!

    In all seriousness, I hope that means that his intestines are starting to work better and he won’t have to strain so much anymore. Poor little O.

    XOXOXO

  6. I understand this post so well…everything about it.
    Yep, laughing is the best way to deal with poo! I have twice as much poo, but I swear twice as much laughter too, I’m so grateful for those babies.
    so glad Baby O is getting the poo routine down!!!

    Hugs

  7. oh yes. Breastfed poo. Ethanonce squirted it all over the changer, me , himself, and the floor with no warning. Fun!

  8. You have made being covered in poo seem so wonderful. I never thought I would say it – but I can’t wait to be covered in poo either!

    I am so glad you are so happy Serenity, you so deserve it.

  9. Have you considered “baby potty training”? The concept has intrigued me, but I’ve not done it. Maybe if you put him on the potty when he first starts his “going poo routine” you may be pleasantly surprised. He may just not want to mess on himself. And if it doesn’t work, then you’ve wasted 5 minutes cradling him on the potty.

  10. I feel his pain…pregnancy constipation is a pain in my ass.

    A good poo is always cause for a smile!

  11. I think this post has marked your TRUE induction into motherhood. Congratulations and welcome.

  12. “…he’s sucking brain cells out my boo.bs”

    Hahahhahaha….

    Bea

  13. So totally freaking awesome πŸ™‚ Glad you are still posting regularly despite lack of brain cells πŸ™‚

  14. Aha! Now you’re a mother! I also got poo’d on a few times πŸ™‚
    Baby K strained a lot in the beginning, but when she started eating even a tiny bit of real food, it improved a lot.

    As for the EC that one of your commenters suggested (baby potty training), it’s a whole lifestyle, not to be taken lightly. It’s true that it saves a fortune on diapers, but it involves WAY WAY WAY more effort on the parents’ part, because you have to be constantly looking for signs that the baby wants to go.

    It’s called E.C. (elimination communication), and you can google it. It’s only an option for s.a.h moms who rarely leave the baby with anyone else and don’t mind carrying a potty chair everywhere they go.


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