I cannot believe it.

June 14, 2008 at 10:09 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Baby O SAT UP yesterday. On his own. Unassisted. For a full minute… until he got shaky and tired and rolled to the side.

I even have a picture of it.

All of a sudden, it seems like I need to REMEMBER things for posterity.

I want to remember how, when, the hospital, that first night where breastfeeding actually worked for us both, he stopped in the middle of his feeding and just stared into my eyes, intently, as if he’d known me for ages.

I want to remember how goddamn LITTLE he was when we put him in his carseat to bring him home from the hospital.

I want to remember how his eyes brighten when I unsnap my bra to feed him.

I want to remember how, when he doesn’t want to take a pacifier, he purses his lips stubbornly.

I want to remember that when he’s really hungry, as he’s eating, he stretches out on the feeding pillow and bunches up his fists to his chest.

I want to remember the happy sighs he makes in between sucks.

I want to remember his first bath in the hospital, where he stretched out all long and skinny, as if to say “Ahhhhhh. Room to move!”

I want to remember how lost he seemed in his preemie clothes when he first came home.

I want to remember how calm he is when I put him up on my shoulder; how he will just look around, maybe suck on his fists or my shoulder itself.

I want to remember how in the mornings, he cries to be picked up, his eyes screwed shut… then pretty much immediately nestles into the crook of my arm and goes back to sleep.

I want to remember how wonderful it is to doze in my bed, holding my baby close, smelling his sweetness.

I want to remember how I feel as if I’ve been dipped into warm water when he smiles at me.

I want to remember how intently he looks at a new toy, as if he’s trying to figure out how it works.

I want to remember the utter RELIEF I felt when I heard him cry for the first time in that operating room.

I want to remember how sometimes he just wants to be held, to snuggle and doze with me.

I can’t believe how fast these three months have gone by. And with every day, he seems to change more and more.

I want to freeze this time; the summer where I was home with him. So maybe then it won’t end. Because. As we celebrate each milestone, he grows away from me.

I never really thought about how bittersweet the process of him growing up will be for us.

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7 Comments »

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  1. Yep. Yes, yes, yes. All of it….yes.

    It’s sooo bittersweet. Scary even, at the same time, knowing that they (he) will NEVER be so small again, that OHMYGOSH this could be IT. I panic every time one of the babies does something new. But yet, it’s still amazing and wonderful, too.

    Time just keeps flying, too.

    Pictures, take lots of pictures!! 🙂

  2. I am thankful every day that I’ve kept my blog and have filled it with all these stories of my daughter; I know the same will be true for you and Baby O. It’s amazing how quickly we forget some of these things, even things we wish to never forget.

    D

  3. It’s amazing to me, from reading your blog, how quickly time goes and how big Baby O is!

  4. So true.

  5. They do grow up quick don’t they? I know I haven’t brought home a baby of my own (yet), but my step-daughter was 4 years old when I met DH and she just graduated from 6th grade last week — it is so unbelievable! I cannot imagine how quickly they must change when they are tiny.

  6. This entry made me cry real tears… I want to remember all those things too. And already, some of those firsts seem as though they happened a million years ago. Wow…time really does fly.

  7. *crying big crocodile tears*

    “As we celebrate each milestone, he grows away from me.”

    Beautiful and so sad at the same time.


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