Autograph signing here.

June 16, 2008 at 8:34 pm | Posted in rants | 31 Comments


I have MADE IT, as far as blogs go.

I have my first real “you’re a selfish bitch” reader!

Miss Brown Eyes thinks I complain too much. From pre-conception to pregnancy and now to parenthood. She thinks I’m too negative. And selfish. And she’s been “following along to see if the whining ever stops.” And she thinks that you all should be sick of me… or bored.

Because working my way to accepting our infertility was whining. And then there was the worry about losing our hard won pregnancy. The fear of having it taken away from us. Whining.

And yes. I will confess that parenting a newborn has kicked my ass. I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. I worry constantly that I’m a shit mother. I want to be the kind of mother Baby O deserves. And I worry all the time that I won’t be that. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s felt the same things I have.

My problem is that I WRITE ABOUT THOSE EMOTIONS. Because then it’s whining. And selfish. Being a parent of a newborn should be all roses and sunshine, right?

Frankly, it’s inherently selfish to have a blog in the first place. If I was truly selfless, I’d not write about anything.

And you know? I never claimed to be selfless. In fact, part of my struggle right now in assimilating “mother” into my identity is that I feel that “me” has taken last priority in my list of priorities. Hell, the CAT is higher up right now than I am.

Wait. You mean the whole WORLD doesn’t revolve around me?

Holy shit.

Thank GOD, Miss Brown Eyes, for you. If it weren’t for your comment yesterday, I never would have known.

So. Anyone want my autograph?

Because, you know. It’s all about ME.



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  1. Please send me your autograph on the picture you posted of your fabulous new hair do. If it is going to be all about you, then I think that you should send out autographs like headshots.

    Do you need me to send my address?

    I am glad you are able to see past the bullshit comments and not let them bring you down. And thank you for your honesty, about all of it, I appreciate it.

  2. I want your autograph too. I don’t comment much, but I read every post. I learn a lot from your struggles and if I ever am successful in having a baby, I hope to learn from your experience. Keep whining, I like it.

  3. Dear Serenity~

    I found your blog well over a year ago….and your whining…I mean writing got me hooked. I am not a good writer and your writing truly fascinated me. So I became a lurker…..I appreciate your blog…..even if you’re a selfish Be-och. So congrats on making it!! Wow..the Tonys and you making it all in one weekend! CONGRATS!

    Kim or Miss BLUE eyes 😉

  4. Like a couple of the other commenters, I have been reading for a while but don’t comment often. I have always appreciated your honesty. Please keep it up — I feel like I’ve learned an enormous amount about the trials (and joys!) of parenting an infant from you over the past few months, and I can use all the learning I can get 🙂

    And I don’t get why people comment on blogs, acting as though they deserve something from the writer. Just stop reading!

  5. *Some* of us understand that this blog is an outlet for you as you endure the everyday struggles of life — some big, some not so big, but struggles all the same — so you have a safe place to release the frustration, tension, and worry that will help free you to be a good mother, wife, daughter, and friend in the real-life part of your life. Personally, I’d much rather get out my frustrations in writing (like on this blog) than take them out on a baby, for one example.

    Funny that apparently some people feel forced to continue reading. I know when I come across something I don’t like to read about, I just move on.


  6. Haha to the last part!!

    SomeONE doesn’t understand that a blog is an OUTLET and not a WHOLE picture of someone’s life. *coughBrownEyesCOUGH*

    I like your whining. It’s realistic. 🙂

  7. Yes but its like a train wreck…its bad, but you just can’t look away.

    Its actually been ages since I had last read…and alas, you’re still here whining…oh well.

    YOUR blog…it can be all about you…but if THIS is ALL of you…what you’re made of…the whining and negativity…ugh.

  8. Is the bidding war on Ebay? Or do we email you, like a silent auction?

    I’m so jealous!

  9. Dude, hie thee to a bookstore and buy this book ASAP:

    “What Mothers Do…when it looks like nothing” by Naomi Stadling.

    Seriously. All new moms need this book…just about now, 2-3-4 months in.

    Trust me on this one.

  10. What the – sorry if this double posts (unless you’ve gone all moderator-y, in which case I apologize again…), but I wanted to recommend the book What Mothers Do…Especially when it looks like nothing, by Naomi Stadlen.

    Also, Ms Brown Eyes is clearly a Martyr Mom (assuming she is a she, and a mom)…hello, passive aggression!

  11. Not having been through infertility, your blog has let me see a glimpse of what you have gone through in order to become a mother. There are times that motherhood is just plain tough, and I don’t think it’s wrong to be honest about the difficulties. You seem to be just writing as it is — not wallowing in negativity, but writing about what is going on with your life — your struggles and your triumphs. I’ve been following your blog since you were about 30 weeks along with “Squishy” now Baby O, and I haven’t found you to be too negative. My heart went out to you as I read of your struggles with infertility, and your fear of something happening that would take Baby O from you before birth, because of how difficult it was for you to even conceive him, and that nothing was a guarantee. Negative? Not in my opinion. Realistic! If you consistently looked at the glass as half-empty, then maybe I could agree with that assessment; but I just don’t see it that way.

  12. Hmmm… My blog is all whiny too. AND I don’t post pics of my hubby either (for the same reason). Oh, and I had infertility troubles that I totally complained about for a year. Ooooh and I ALSO worried a LOT about my pregnancy and whether there would be a real live actual child in my future. My cat is above me in the priorities chain of our household too!!

    Hmmm, let’s see… I also feel like having a baby to raise is kicking my ass. Oh, wait – I forgot to mention my hubby in that statement. Oh, actually I forgot to mention anything about hubby except that I am leaving him out of my blog.

    Well, damn guys, I guess by Brown Eyes’ definition I suck as a mother, blogger AND a commenter. LOL

    Good thing I don’t give a flying fuck what Brown Eyes thinks about me and mine.

    Last time I checked this blog it was all about Serenity, and I enjoy reading about her very much. I’m not bored, I’m comforted, because I’m sure-as-hell in her shoes A LOT. 🙂

  13. Life is hard. It is ok to whine. And, honestly, this blog is not whiny. Some folks just like to shoot others down to make themselves look / feel better.

  14. Your blog is fantastic…it’s real. Don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise.

  15. Wow. People like THAT are exactly why I made my blog private. I cut negative people out of my life.
    “Whine” all you want. It’s human. If your blog were all peaches and cream I would begin to wonder wth I am doing wrong, because parenting isn’t all peaches and cream, neither was infertility, or pregnancy, etc.
    I don’t comment often, but Miss Brown Eyes really set me off.

  16. L-M-A-O, Serenity!! Your response is priceless! Just priceless!!! 🙂

  17. Miss Brown Eyes can kiss your butt. I’ve never understood why people feel the need to comment like that. If she didn’t like what she was reading, why didn’t she simply STOP READING. It’s a novel concept, I know. Perhaps Miss Brown Eyes isn’t bright enough to figure that out. I don’t mean to get all evil on her, but her comment was really unnecessary.

    As you well know, I’ve been reading and commenting on your blog for at least a year now. I’ve loved your honesty and if it should have been considered “whining” then so be it. I hate it when my 3 year old whines, but I guess I like it when you do. 🙂

    I have to tell you that your name is mentioned (in my head if not out loud) almost every night in our house. No, not as in us shrieking “Serenity Now!” But because about a week ago, our new son (4 weeks old today) developed his “fussy period” at night. Our daughter’s fussy period lasted about 20 hours out of the day, so we are happy that our son’s only lasts about 90 minutes or so. Anyway, when he’s in the throes of it, I harken back to some of your more descriptive (NOT “whiny”) posts about Baby O’s antics, and I say a prayer for you because I imagine you’re going through the same thing. We haven’t found the face-smothering magic blankie thing yet to calm him down, but hopefully some magical item will appear soon.

    Keep on posting, blogging, whining, whatever you want to call it. I rooted for you while TTC, I rooted for you during your whole pregnancy, and I’m rooting for you to be the best Mom you possibly can be (which you ARE!).

  18. this just goes to show that there are crazies everywhere. and especially on the internet.

  19. Been reading for a while, and enjoy your honesty. Life is messy and I look forward to your posts.

  20. You are way cool! You should sell your autograph on Ebay 😉

  21. You know, you’re one of my favorite bloggers because you’re so articulate and thoughtful. Seriously.

    I will admit that there are some blogs I find really annoying, but I can’t seem to stop reading them. I would NEVER, EVER comment on them to say I found them annoying, though. That’s their space and their right to post as they want.

  22. It’s a shame that some people can’t be content to let other people have (and express) their own emotions. And that they get pleasure from insulting people they don’t even know.

    I don’t think Brown Eyes’ mother taught her that if she doesn’t have anything nice to say to someone, don’t say anything at all.

    And I sincerely hope that her COMMENTS aren’t representative of all of HER. Because I certainly wouldn’t surround myself with people who behave this way.

    Keep on bloggin’, Serenity. I enjoy hearing about your thoughts, you fears, your challenges and, most of all, Baby O. Rock on, sister.

  23. Miss Brown Eyes just stop reading. You have no idea who Serenity is, and if you assume…well you know where that gets you.

    I love this blog, it “talks” for me, you seem to write about things that I find difficult to articulate or find the time to write about. It makes motherhood after infertility “REAL” and “MESSY’ and well it is. Like I said before , this is YOUR space, do with it what you will. I’m reading and so are a lot of people.


  24. Your blog is the first I go to everyday!! Your honesty is refreshing and love the way you articulate yourself! I’ve never thought once that you’re whining! Ever!! Thanks for your openess and please dont let anyone ever filter that; it’s a true gift!

  25. I’ve been reading your blog for two years. I’ve never thought you were whiny.

    But this person, Brown Eyes, I do believe is a bit of a coward. Seriously, how much courage does it take to bash someone anonymously?

    Wishing you well and that Baby O continuos to blossom!

  26. Negativity? Hmmm….sounds like a big ol’ bitchy pot calling your kettle black. Me thinks Brown Eyes is a wee bit negative herself! Let’s see YOUR all sunshine and kittens blog, shall we?

  27. I also agree that Miss Brown Eyes should stop reading and commenting if she doesn’t like what you have to say. There should be no reason to take this blog private in order to avoid people like him/her (I question if it’s a woman at all).

    Anyway, maybe this person wants your blog to be all babydust and fairy stories, but that’s not reality.

    I love it when my friends that have just had babies and are all sleep deprived as me if it gets any better. My answer (coming from the mother of a seven-year-old girl) is “Not better, just different!”

  28. I love that when people leave rude comments they don’t leave a link. If it bothers her that much why does she continue to read. PEOPLE! Keep doing what your doing!

  29. I’ve been following you a while, too, and you know what I notice about your “whining”? The next post you’re back on top of it, putting it in perspective, trying something new…

    So. Whine away.


  30. As a new mom it’s so nice to know that others feel the same way. Thanks for blogging about the hard things too. Motherhood is NOT all sunshine and roses, I KNOW!

  31. Umm… is this the same Brown Eyes who went over to Rosepetal’s to tell her how she is harming her living child by still mourning her two dead ones? Yeah, thank the Universe for BE, or none of us would really know WTF we are doing wrong…

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