Choices.

July 1, 2008 at 8:11 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 29 Comments

Let’s say you’re a guy. And your alarm rings every morning at 5am.

Except you never really get up at 5am – you hit snooze once or twice each morning. No big deal, you’ve built it into your morning routine.

Let’s just say then… one morning your alarm rings at 5am. And you hit snooze.

And your wife appears in the doorway, after nursing your three and a half month old baby.

And she says, “Are you getting up? Because the baby’s wide awake… and I was hoping maybe you might rock him a bit.”

Before you answer…

Remember how she’s gotten up every night with the baby since he was born. Even those nights where he was feeding every two hours. 

Remember how she is sweet enough to turn off the monitor when she does get up so that you don’t need to hear the baby’s fussing on those nights where he doesn’t go back to sleep easily.

Remember that her days are spent at home, working to get the baby to nap so he’s not a complete basket case when you get home from work at night.

Remember that this is not an easy task, since your baby isn’t much of a napper.

Remember that, right now, she has no control over when she eats. When she showers. When she sleeps. In fact, she has not had any control over much of her life for the past three and a half months.

Remember that your baby does NOT have a snooze button. That when he cries, he needs to be attended to NOW.

And do not. DO NOT.

Under ANY circumstances.

DO NOT tell her “I was going to get up in 10 minutes,” roll over, and go back to sleep.

Trust me on this.

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29 Comments »

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  1. I understand your furstration… I’ve been there

  2. Ouch. Yeah. Um, hmmm. That deserves a beating. I hear those help with training husbands into compliance.

  3. I have to delurk to comment on this one…..I find so many similarities with my husband and yours lol…

    For some reason, the more sleep deprived they get (boo hoo right? lol), the more they get like what you’re experiencing. I think half the reason they act like that is because they KNOW that we’ll tend to the child if they wait long enough. I truly believe it’s a ploy.

    They (the husbands) are lucky we haven’t smacked em good yet. There have been many times these past 21 months where I really would’ve felt better if I did! heheheheh…

    Why is it the end of the world to them when they don’t get enough sleep, but when we’re sleep deprived, we are just whiners?

    🙂

  4. Amen, sister!!!

  5. Yeah, that’s not going to cut it. 😦

    I hope you can find a way to convey to him (at a less sleep-deprived time) that you need him to step up at those times.

    *hugs*
    D

  6. All men can be taught… but I do realize that I am terribly spoiled.

  7. Sorry you had to deal with that. Honestly, sometimes I think the blogosphere (and all the pregnant women I know) is so full of “my husband is so supportive” etc etc, and I know my husband is not always that helpful, so it’s a little reassuring to know others are like that. For me, I guess, though, not for you.

  8. Mr. LIW might never see me naked again after something like that. He would pay, I can tell you! 🙂

    I just caught up and glad to hear that Baby O is getting over his virus and that you have turned into Super Mom. 🙂

    XOXO

  9. Any tips on how to prevent it?

  10. oh j. not.a.good.idea.

  11. omg – i have so been there. it’s no fun. do they think we can just hit the snooze button on the babies cries? not so much.

  12. OH No!!! J I feel so bad for you, cause you’re gonna get it. And you sort of deserve to get it….sorry.

    sorry Serenity. Flick him in the head next time.

  13. Ha! sounds like my husband. I get to work 24/7, and he whines if he has to comfort the baby once a night for 10 minutes. Boo hoo.

  14. Oh I can feel my blood boiling at that! I’d open a huge can of whoop-a$$ on him!

  15. I am living that nightmare too…

    I don’t know HOW it can be prevented, the men just don’t see to GET it. (My husband once went as far as telling me that he works twice as hard as I do.) Usually I just get to the point of tears. Only THEN does my husband understand that he really needs to HELP. (Not that he is always so bad, I do appreciate alot that he does, but at times he needs a refresher.)

    (I like the idea of the baby snooze button… how can we invent that?)

  16. For about 2 months my husband got up every time the baby did. Even when I was breastfeeding he would get up with me to keep me company. Now the baby is almost 4 months and I guess the novelty has worn off because it seems like if he is sleeping and I need any kind of help I get the same kind of comment J gave you. I guess the novelty has worn off!

  17. HIT HIM! It’s the only way!!!!

  18. i second that amen, sister!

  19. I hope you KICKED HIS BUTT!!!! Cold water or something. Seriously.

  20. Did he even remember (when he did finally get up) that he responded that way? Hang in there. Men are dorks sometimes.

  21. OMG – I am printing that list out! Ugh – they cannot fully comprehend it from our point of view. My husband still just makes plans for himself, i.e. “I’m going to paint the fence this afternoon.” To which I respond: “I was hoping to pee, so could you PLEASE hold the baby?”

    How nice to be able to do what you want to do when you want to do it! lol.

  22. Oh, no, he didn’t! Though, of course, he did.
    Really a very unfortunate choice on his part. Which I trust you explained to him in colorful language, yes?

  23. Sorry, but LOL. Classic husband stuff. Classic.

  24. Nobody’s perfect, I guess! J sounds awesome in so many ways, but this transgression would make me crazy too! In fact, I sent my husband the link to this post so he wouldn’t make this mistake! It made him very glad he’s been so helpful this week as we’re trying to transition A out of the swaddle.

    Have a great weekend with your family & O’s baptism!

  25. Oh no he di-dn’t!!!

  26. No. Way. I really think violence in a case like this might be your only answer. 🙂

  27. I can totally relate to what you are saying. In the beggining I had so many discussion with DH about this and after the talk things are different but I find that we go back the oud routine after a few days. After a few months I think he finally realized that this wasn’t easy and I found I didn’t need to ask him as much.

  28. I’m pleased to say that my husband has never done this, not once. Even when he clearly does not want to get up, he does it anyway. I think he deserves a prize or something. Hopefully that won’t happen to you again.

  29. Um, what was the right thing to say? 15 minutes? ‘Cause that’s what I would’ve gone with.

    heh heh


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