Advice, schmadvice. I have an expert!

July 11, 2008 at 9:05 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Yesterday as I was changing Baby O’s diaper, I noticed some redness around the base of his little It didn’t seem to bother him all that much, so I put some diaper rash ointment on it and closed up his diaper.*

Then I immediately did what I usually do whenever I have every baby-related issue.

I hopped online to ask my good friend D what she thought.

And then I realized. D has a little girl.


It made me realize just how much I rely on her. For pretty much everything. So I wanted to dedicate today’s post to my friend D… and share with you some of the advice she’s given me during my pregnancy and now with Baby O:

1. “I know you can’t imagine bringing home a live baby. But you should still install the carseat, pack your hospital bag, and prepare everything as if you were going to go early.” She started telling me this at 34 weeks; reminding me that Baby O could come early. Because she knew. I was in DENIAL. But because she put a bug in my ear, I started getting motivated to DO stuff. We finished packing our bags and ensuring the seat was properly installed THE DAY BEFORE Baby O arrived. 

We were ready for his two-weeks-before-the-scheduled-C arrival mostly because of her.

2. “Trust your supply.” She’s been saying this since day one, and hands down it’s been the best advice I’ve gotten to date. My years of infertility? I don’t trust my body one BIT. See, BFing takes a lot of trust that your baby is getting enough from you. Especially on those days where he ate so many times that I could barely pump 2oz by the end of the day. And that happened often early on.

It’s funny… I still sometimes can’t believe that I’m exclusively BFing Baby O. And I know that I wouldn’t be doing that if it weren’t for my friend D.

3. ” ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’ was really a good book for us when our daughter was a newborn. ” I got a copy of this book for Christmas and read it pretty much in one sitting. The 5 S list that Dr. Karp uses? An absolute godsend. Worked so many times to get Baby O to calm – or at least not accelerate the fretting into inconsolable sobs.

In fact, it still works – we still swaddle Baby O every night. I think it’s in part why he sleeps so well (at night anyway).

4. “Focus only on the things you can control right now.” After Baby O was born, my imagination ran away with all the things that COULD happen. No joke, I was worried at one point about what would happen if my car went off a bridge. I had what I would do all planned out, in fact. And I worried about EVERYTHING. What would happen if there was a fire in our house? Is that cough whooping cough? How was I going to manage sending him to daycare? What would happen when I went back to work?

Et cetera. And frankly, my worries were starting to get in the way of enjoying my time with Baby O in the here and now.

And in one of her conversations, D told me that she was really, truly happy with her life – because she focuses only on the things that she can control in the here and now. Potty training? Down the road, she knows she’ll have to worry about it. But for right now, it’s not at the forefront of her mind.

It’s such a great way of living – I remember doing this during our last few cycles of IVF – but it takes focus in order to stop worrying. I have gotten much better at this, but I’m still working on it.

5. “You know a lot more than you think you do.” After almost 4 months, Baby O and I are just starting to figure each other out and find our groove. But pretty much from day one, D has been behind me all the way, telling me that I was doing great, despite the fact that I knew very little absolutely nothing about being a mom. Whereas I felt like I was relying heavily on she and my SIL, she insisted that I was doing the hard stuff on my own.

Being a parent, I think,  requires a little blind confidence. At least early on, when you’re so sleep deprived that you can’t be sure of your own name, let alone deciphering your baby’s cries. D gave me some of that confidence I needed in order to not feel completely overwhelmed.

In this whole journey, from early on in our ART cycles to yesterday, when I almost asked her about p.eni.s rash, my friend D has been an unbelievable source of support and advice. 

And I am convinced I wouldn’t have made it this far without her.

If that doesn’t deserve a shout out, I don’t know what does.

*It was just a touch of diaper rash – the ointment seemed to clear it up quickly.



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  1. What a great friend! And an equally awesome shout out.
    And phew– glad it was just a diaper rash.

  2. I’m glad she’s been so helpful

  3. I wish I had a friend like that 9 years ago! What a good friend!

    A lot of parenting is just fly by the seat of your pants–even after the first year! Its a lot of common sense, but its also a lot of work and second guessing. Its great to have someone there who is a little ahead of you and can forge the way. (Unfortunately for us, in our group of friends–we were the ones going first!)

  4. GO D!!!! it’s great to have a friend like her isn’t it? In your everyday, helping you get through it.

    I’ll give her my own shoutout..the list you sent me with all the baby stuff, made our trip to BRU to register last year SO EASY. How amazing and organized can ONE Woman be???? *smile*

  5. You are so lucky to have D! (I find myself often wishing for a friend like her!)

    About the redness of the penis- Sacha has been having that a bit too. The same cream I use on his bum has cleared it up, but thanks for making me feel “normal”.

    And while we are on the subject of normal… I also still swaddle Sacha. Actually this week I was starting to wonder if he was getting “too old” (hahah! too old!) for it. I find that he sleeps way better (though not so often through the night as Baby O) when wrapped. It does seem that he is getting a little too strong and clever and often comes out even when I expertly wrap him.

    So, ya. Umm… Thanks.

    And keep up the great mothering.

  6. oh, it’s so wonderful to have a friend like d – i have one too, and i can’y imagine where i’d be without her

    yay for d!

  7. what a great friend!
    now be a good friend and give your bloggerverypregnantterrifiedfriend her number, mmmmmm’kay?

  8. Worth a shout-out! And some good advice in there, too.

    Have been loving your pics, by the way.


  9. She has fantastic advice. Especially #4.

  10. It’s amazing

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