September 5, 2008 at 12:45 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 24 Comments

My MIL just called me.

The results from my SIL’s ultrasound today weren’t good.

The baby measured two weeks behind.

And had no heartbeat.

(Apparently it’s not always easy for people. And I need to remember that when I rant about the unfairness of IF.)



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  1. That’s horrible. My prayers to your family.

  2. So sorry to hear that. There are so many different ways for people to suffer with fertility.

  3. I am so sorry to hear this. This is just so unfair.

  4. oh no.

  5. I’m so sorry.

  6. So sorry to hear that 😦

  7. Oh no, that is awful news. I am so sorry Serenity, for her and your whole family. Another way that life is so unfair.


  8. I’m very sorry.

    Please stop beating yourself up. Your feelings are always valid.

  9. Oh, Serenity. Love & hugs to your SIL and family. That sucks.

  10. I am soooo sorry. My prayers to your SIL.

  11. I’m so sorry to hear that. Thinking of all of you.

  12. I am so sorry! PS: the way you felt has nothing to do with the outsome of her pregnancy.

  13. Aw damn. And I’d like to ditto what Cibele said…

  14. Oh crap. I’m so sorry! And I second (I mean third) what Cibele said. sending hugs!

  15. It’s not always easy, but that doesn’t mean IF isn’t unfair, insofar as one can talk about “fair” in life at all. The two are separate, the fact that a miscarriage is hard doesn’t take away from the fact that being unable to conceive in the first place totally, totally sucks arse.

    FWIW, and this comment probably belongs a few posts back but we’re not getting much sleep this week (any sleep tips… email them…) so I’m just getting around to it now, but I got an email announcing a birth recently and their first child is only 18 months old, and I just couldn’t get into it. I guess I just thought it would be easier to be happy for people having crossed the line, but the truth is, it isn’t gone yet, neither is it over. I think it’s going to take time. Actually, I think I’ll always differentiate between the everyday and the hard-won pregnancies, and frankly, I don’t see a problem with that, either. But at any rate, I was less pleased and excited than I’d expected to be, so it’s not a failing on your part. Of course, it helps that I heard about it at the live birth stage, so I didn’t have to face the feelings of a later miscarriage.

    At any rate – say sorry to your sister for me, but remember your feelings are normal and valid.


  16. SIL.

  17. Oh, what a punch in the gut. I’m so sorry about your SIL. That’s just wrenchingly, agonizingly sad.

  18. So sorry to read this news.

  19. I am so sorry. Thinking of your family.

  20. So sorry to hear about your SIL’s news. 😦 That’s something that no one should have to endure. My heart goes out to her and her husband. I hope that her being in the company of her wonderful family next week on vacation will be the beginning of the healing process.


  21. ohno. that’s so effin awful. sheesh. thinking of your family.

  22. I am so sorry. Something very similar happened to my SIL. Her miscarriage never started naturally and she ended up with a D & C following an ultrasound like your SILs. My thoughts are with her and her family.

  23. oh no.
    I’m sorry.

  24. Despite knowing what I know and having been through what I’ve been through, it’s always a punch in the gut to realize that things go wrong for other people too.

    So sorry.

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