Common sense?

October 2, 2008 at 2:41 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Not so much here.

I know.

I’m boring you all to TEARS with the food/bottle obsessing.

I mean. Shit, I’m boring MYSELF.

Thing is.

I know next to nothing about starting solid foods. I have no REAL idea when we need to transition him to more than one meal a day. I have no idea how MUCH solid foods he should be eating/not eating in one sitting. I have no idea if he’s refusing bottles because he’s stubborn. Or maybe it’s because he’s sick and isn’t hungry? Or maybe he’s TOO hungry and milk just isn’t doing it?

Fuck if I know. Because really, I’m pretty damn clueless when it comes to anything other than nursing. Because I can’t research it. What works for one kid doesn’t for another.

So it boils down to trial and error, right? And it’s going to change daily. And I’m not really around to actually VERIFY that he’s hungry/not hungry/eating ok, so I’m going on information from other people. From my husband. From his daycare provider.

So really, the obsessing is less about what he’s eating and why. It’s that I feel completely FUCKING clueless about something that I SHOULD know. I’m his mom. I should know what’s best for him.

But really, I’m just trying to figure it out as we go along.

And see, now that’s what’s bothering me.

Not the food thing.

Just in case you were wondering.



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  1. Its hard sometimes to know what to do. Thing is, the fact that you worry that you are doing the right thing—that shows you are a good mother. It shows you are working it through. Unfortunately, you are totally right when you say you have to figure it out as you go along. That is actually how I feel at each stage of this parenting thing—and my son is almost ten! It does get easier when they can help you with the whole communication thing (heck, that is why I am trying baby sign language for Willow).

    If it helps any, just cuz you are the mother—doesn’t mean you know everything—nor should you expect to. And I don’t think it matters if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom—sometimes, you just can’t get into your child’s mind.

    I frankly just go by my gut (and a little help from my Pediatrician). (For reference, he said that Willow, who is 5 months and is 14 lbs. 24 inches—she should do 1-2 solids a day, give her 3 days to introduce a food; and get to 2-3 times by 6 months—3 times a day by 8 months).

    You are doing a great job, Serenity (really, you are!).

  2. come to think of it….i would have no idea either. good luck on finding out.

  3. i read this blog…and here is a post that you might find helpful.

  4. But you said it: “What works for one kid doesn’t for another.” So just because you are his mother doesn’t mean you have all the answers at the drop of a hat – it is all trial and error. Like you said, it will probably change every day anyways.

    I’m sure it sucks trying to figure it out when you are just going on limited details from other people but I think you are doing fine. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

  5. Dear Serenity,

    Coming out of the woodwork to say that my son is FOUR months old, and wants to eat everything in sight. He wants all his bottles, plus three meals a day! He eats it all so quickly …. I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. (And he is my second child!) I’m asking the nurse about it next week, making sure he won’t grow into, you know, the Incredible Hulk or something.

    But I’m taking my cues fom him, I guess … learning as I go, trying to stay chilled with it. The rollercoaster didn’t exactly stop, did it! You’re doing SO bloody well. How I wish I could have breastfed like you!


  6. Mothering – wouldn’t it be nice if there were a class for learning to know exactly what the right amount of solid foods is for YOUR baby?

    I’m sorry you’re finding it so rough – so just some moral support here.

  7. Delenn said it very well, and I agree 100% with what she said.

    As your good friend, I’m going to (very respectfully) tell you to chill out a little. 🙂 Try and take a step back from the situation and see that things will be just fine in the end. Try and get a little perspective, because I know it’s hard to when you’re in the situation. You’ll figure it out, Baby O will figure it out, then you’ll go to the next challenge that raising a child brings, and you’ll have no clue what to do then, either. But that’s part of it.

    The good thing is that you DO have options that you can play around with to find what works best for you all. (Much better than conforming to someone else’s standards, no?) No one instinctively knows what to do in every situation. Everyone is winging it at least part of the time. All you can do is take it one day at a time (dammit! that again?), read your son’s cues, try to figure them out, and go from there.

    Baby O isn’t stressing out about this stuff — he seems happy and well adjusted and doesn’t he seem to be thriving in daycare? — so you should try to minimize the stress on yourself as best you can. 🙂


  8. I don’t have time to read the above posts. I apologize if I end up repeating something…

    Who knows what to do, really. I tried Maggie on solids at 4 months, she wasn’t ready, lots of gagging and other tricks so I waited. Then at 6 months, I tried again, she took to it and I literally followed her cues. We did an am bottle, cereal and fruit at 9-10ish, bottle for lunch, bottle late in the pm, and cereal with a veggie at night. Worked like a charm for a good, long time. Then she’d take a bottle before bed. When she got a little bit older we would introduce finger foods and now she’s 13 months and eats everything but still has 2-3 bottles a day of whole milk. It’s all a game. Don’t stress over it. I know you’ve mentioned concern about his weight, but my friend’s son is the EXACT same and he’s just fine. (Literally in the 5th percentile for his life so far…but he’s an active, healthy, but little 3 year old.)

    You’re doing a good job. It’s all trial and error. You’ll go nutso if you are constantly trying to figure it out.

    Have a great weekend! Enjoy the sunshine for once around here!!!

  9. It’s so hard.

    And being that my little one is now four, I’m a little fuzzy on how solids went for us.

    But, I do know that my DD has ALWAYS been very low in weight…15th percentile, I believe. I was SO worried about that for the first 2 years of her life.

    The doc finally explained to me that it’s not what % that they are in…it’s what they stay in. As long as they don’t drop a ton of weight, or gain a ton…that’s what matters.

    You are doing great, Momma!

  10. My pediatrician gave me a chart that talks about the age and how much of each thing they should ultimately get once he’s been introduced to the various things. (Starting slow is advised, naturally). Maybe ask your pediatrician for the same thing? If they don’t have one, I might be able to scan mine in for you, if you like. My daughter is a chow hound and eats more than the chart says, but it works for her. 🙂

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