February 27, 2009 at 8:59 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

(I don’t dare to put a period at the end of that title. No whammies, no whammies, no whammies… STOP!)

As it turns out, the fever was a precursor to yet another rough cold that Baby O’s been dealing with. Poor kid woke up yesterday morning with his nose completely clogged, which required a damp cloth to loosen before he could have his morning bottle.

(Yeah, he was pretty happy with me THAT morning. *sigh*)

But his sleep has gotten SO much better, and though I’m not feeling RESTED per se, I’m feeling a bit more positive about our nights.


That said, I do think some sleep training will need to take place in our house.

Mostly I need to sleep train J.

Baby O is now at an age where he NOTICES things. Like in the middle of the night, when I’m trying to get him to go back to sleep, if J comes in to see if he can help… Baby O sees him, and I SWEAR I can see the gears turning in his head. “Hrm, if I cry hard enough, Dada comes in too.”

And then there was the other night, when J came home late, and Baby O was fussing in his crib.

Now see, with Baby O, there’s a difference between just fussing and crying FOR someone. Baby O does it lately – he’s tired, he’s annoyed that he’s tired, so he’ll sort of whine and fuss, but his eyes are closed, and really he’s on his way into sleep. It just SOUNDS like he needs help.

At the time that J came home, Baby O was just starting to settle himself. I had just gotten back into bed. And my husband, in order to try and help, went into Baby O’s room and picked him up to try and rock him to sleep. Which actually made things worse, because Baby O remembered that oh yeah he was UNHAPPY, dammit.

It’s easy for me to just know when Baby O needs me, and when he’s close to settling himself. I just KNOW. J, though – not so much.

And, you know, that’s fine. J really means well, he WANTS to help, so I can’t really fault him. Maybe some other husbands would just cede the whole overnight thing to their wives. So I’m thankful in a way that J is NOT like that.

But still. My WHOLE goal right now is to make it so that Baby O learns not only that nighttime is for sleeping, but that he has the tools to put himself back to sleep if/when he DOES wake up.

Because chronic sleep deprivation is NOT where I want to live for the rest of my life.

To that end, J and I need to set some ground rules to handle Baby O’s night waking. When he’s well. When he’s sick. Et cetera.

And hopefully in a couple of weeks you won’t hear another post where I bitch about chronic sleep deprivation.




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  1. You’re right, they mean well. Once you and J sit down and talk about how nighttime should go, things will be better.

    It would be nice if our husbands just “knew” these things like us, wouldn’t it?

  2. Hope you guys can get on the same page and get this figured out soon!


  3. We don’t have quite the same sleep issues, but when Baby M has woken in the middle of the night my husband thinks the best thing to do is to bring him in our bed. We are so not on the same page there and I have been able to get the upper hand in that argument. I think if it were totally up to M we would have co-slept. Ground rules are good and I think a mutual understanding will be easy to come by since J wants to be helpful.

    Good luck!

  4. Sorry that he’s sick! I hope he gets better (really better!) soon! As for the sleep issues–it is hard to say if his being sick has totally disrupted his sleeping patterns, but I am sure you guys (once you get on the same page) will get it straightened out. Some children don’t develop good sleeping patterns until after age 2, not to scare you…

    In my house we try to keep a team effort on this front–and we play to each others strengths–I am better at playing with her until she is tired out…he is better at actually rocking her down.

    Have a good weekend–hopefully sleep filled!

  5. You’re funny. You took ‘tools’ the way we do at work and tried to apply them to O. I’m picturing him analyzing and applying his tools to get to sleep. I need some tools too for sleeping. I think I need a date with O to learn about sleeping tools!

  6. My hubby is the same way. I feel like I’m always saying “don’t you go in there”.
    I really liked the sleep whisperer book for sleep training. It’s her third book called “the baby whisperer answers all your questions”. It’s quite a big book and goes from newborn to preschooler.
    Good luck!

  7. We are still struggling with this too. Please keep us posted and if you find a trick that works please share–I’m beginning to think we will never sleep through the night. 🙂

  8. Oh yes – you definitely need to be both following the same plan. Don’t get me started!


  9. Do you have a video monitor? That thing has been a total blessing. I find when we are both questioning what’s going on with a baby, we can just look at the monitor to see if they are almost settled, that way we aren’t going in and disturbing them. Though it was hard to find a good one, we’ve got two and they both have some issues, but they are totally worth the trouble for me, I think otherwise we would have been rushing in a lot more than we do now. Makes it easier for me to leave them for the 5-15 minutes to let them resettle without my help, when I can peak and see that they are lying down and almost asleep or not…

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