May 22, 2009 at 7:15 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

It feels like it took FOREVER for us to get pregnant. Even now, when I look back on it, with the fear gone, and the pain pretty much healed over, all I’m really left with is the feeling that it took us a REALLY LONG TIME to bring home Baby O. (Well. That plus the rememberance that I was terrified that something would happen to him when I was pregnant.)

When we were trying, time seemed to STRETCH like some rubber band. We were suspended in the waiting for something to happen.

And then we had him. And apparently in the moment I gave birth, time snapped back to its normal state.

Which is to say: holy fuck this is going fast.

Almost too fast for me to handle.

Baby O is now drinking exclusively from a sippy cup. We made the transition almost by accident last Sunday, where we were at my friend J’s house, and he drank three full sippies of milk (thank goodness she had milk at her house!) in the evening. So when we got home, we didn’t bother with a bottle. And then the next morning, he slept through until 7am. So we didn’t bother with a morning bottle either – just gave him a sippy with his breakfast.

Since then he’s had a sippy cup instead of a bottle. He’s taken it with no trouble. And just like when he weaned from nursing on his own, I’m left shaking my head and wondering how I could POSSIBLY think he was that attached to his bottle. Maybe that was my OWN perception.

Or maybe he was just ready to quit bottles.

Then. A couple of nights ago, he was puttering around the living room with his toys. (Blocks. He stacks his blocks now and then pulls the stack down, giggling the whole time.) And since it was getting close to bedtime, I said to him, “Baby O. Can we go upstairs and put your pajamas on so we can get ready for bed?”

Like I pretty much have said since he was an itty bitty baby – where people looked at me weird because I talked to him as if he were a person who could comprehend me.

But this time. THIS TIME.

He put down his blocks, and started crawling to the stairs, saying “nai-nai, nai-nai, nai-nai.” Night-night.

HE UNDERSTOOD ME. A compound sentence with THREE DIFFERENT ideas in it.

I love it. I love how interactive he is nowadays. I love that when I ask him if he wants a cracker, he says “ka.” I love how he gets so excited to play in the water filling the tub, that he’s actually climbed up and slipped into the tub so he could get closer to the water. How as I was taking him out of his soaking wet clothing, he was signing “more” because he wanted to play in the water. I love how he walks up and down the driveway holding onto our hands and throws a fit when we try and bring him inside.

I love discovering his personality. Watching him explore his world. Interact with babies his own age. Interact with older toddlers.

But it’s so bittersweet, too. Because that itty bitty baby I brought home just over a year ago is no longer. With every day, he grows stronger and more independent. And where it really is my privilege to nurture the person he is, the man he’s going to be, it’s just going by too damn fast.

I just hope I don’t blink and miss it.



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  1. That is so great that he understood you! I do the same thing–I never talk baby talk to my kids…and it is so astounding when they awaken and UNDERSTAND!

    My favorite age, although I love them all after 1 yr (so far–had only a hint of teenager so far) is the toddler years. They are discovering the world and themselves and it is so amazing to watch them. To present the world to them–there are so many things that you see through their eyes…its just awesome!

    And, yes…it goes too damn fast…I like your description of time coming back to its “normal state”. Very true.

  2. Yay for moving onto the sippy cup with little to no problems! 🙂

    And for Baby O understanding you, that is one of the BEST feelings in the world!

    It all goes SO fast, enjoy!

  3. What a sweet post… I feel the same way.
    PS; I also talk with Lyla like you do with baby O.

  4. Such a beautiful post!

    G and I were having the exact same conversation last night about Lemy as she is almost a year old already. It’s just unreal how fast things are going.

  5. I love it when you realize that even though they can’t talk, they can understand what you are telling them!!!! It’s one of the amazing moments I have for when Phoebe was a baby. She was crawling once and she left something behind her that I knew she would want and I said “Ernie’s behind you.” She turned around to behind her and picked up her Ernie doll and kept crawling away. I was in shock!!! Just like you. Aren’t they just amazing little things.

    And yes, time does go quickly. It took us a long time to get to this pregnancy as well as our daughter (6 years for her, 8 years for these boys) and we’ve had a few losses along the way. One of my close friends made a comment that this pregnancy has seemed like it’s gone quickly and my response was “It seems when it’s a pregnancy that isn’t going to work it goes by so slowly, but when it’s going to be fine it goes by in the blink of an eye.”

  6. Hon, I know EXACTLY how you feel. While it is so AMAZING that the little guys actually understand concepts (I can get Sacha to clean up his toys!), it is unreal how quickly time has flown.
    It really annoyed me when Sacha was a newborn and people would say “savour every moment, it will go by so fast”. All I wanted was for it to go by fast because I was having such a hard time at the beginning. But… it’s true. I love what we’ve got now, but there are times that I miss my little infant that needed me for everything!
    I agree- it is important to talk to your baby like he’s a grown up.

  7. It gets more fun as they age and I love being able to hold a conversation with them. But it’s weepy. It’s hard to look at this tangible reminder that time is passing.

  8. It’s amazing. I have my little man at 4 months old and can hardly believe it. It’s all screaming by so fast!

  9. I can’t believe he’s already getting what you’re saying, but you describe it really really well – the examples bring home how fast he’s becoming this little person. Ack! And yay!?!

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