His Beary Best Friend.*with pictures!

July 24, 2009 at 10:37 am | Posted in milestones, School (aka: daycare) | 15 Comments

A week ago, at 5:45pm, I got a call from O’s daycare. The toddler room teacher was leaving, you see, and he wanted to “better explain what you’ll see on O’s sheet for today.”

O had a rough morning that day.

Why?

The toddlers were going outside to do waterplay, and he wanted to bring his bear blanket outside too.

His teachers initially said no, because they knew that Bear would get wet and dirty. And then O wouldn’t have him later in the day.

But he threw such a fit that they finally decided that okay, they’d try it and see what happens.

And it went exactly to what they expected. Bear got wet, very wet. And dirty.

And his teacher said: “O was pretty unhappy when we had to hang Bear out to dry.”

So we decided, on the phone, that we’d bring an EXTRA bear blanket for inside. So that he would have one that was okay to get dirty, and one that was for indoor use only.

He now has TWO which he keeps there. TWO!

I KNOW that Baby O loves his bear blanket. I mean, I have pictures of him at 2 months, soothing himself to sleep with Bear.

But in the past couple of weeks, Bear has become Very Important to him.

HE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT BEAR.

He walks around the house, hugging Bear. He’ll eat his dinner as long as Bear is nearby. And towards the end of the meal, he reaches out and says “beAH!” until we give it back to him.

At night, he sleeps with Bear curled around his forearm.

And this very morning, on the way to daycare, he hugged and babbled and rubbed Bear’s head.

As if Bear were his best friend in the world.

I will admit that initially I felt a pang of guilt that O was attaching to his Bear. You know. Because it’s my FAULT. Because we’re not around as much as he needs.

I know, again with the guilt. I tell you, it’s HARD not to fall into feeling that way.

BUT. I’ve been reading lately that a toddler using a transitional object to self-comfort is a good thing. Not only because he can help comfort himself when I’m not there. But because he’s starting to realize that he’s an individual, independent. Separate from J and I.

And Bear helps him with the Big, Bad World out there.

I really do love that he is starting to show a capacity for loving someone, all on his own.

I love that he’s got a friend to have with him when he feels unsure, or uncomfortable.

And I love that I thought enough in advance that we have THREE Bears in use. One in his crib. Two at daycare.

(And one in a ziploc bag in storage, just in case.)

My mother tells me that I was as attached to my Grover doll as O is to his Bear. And my MIL says that J had a hippo (named Hermione) which he used to carry with him everywhere.

So Bear’s in good company.

*Update: First – I want to let you all know I wasn’t REALLY feeling guilty. Really. I had a moment of guilt which pretty rapidly disappeared once I googled “toddler transitional objects.”

And because I want you to fully appreciate his bear love, I’ve attached a couple of pictures of him with Bear.

The first is when we introduced Bear to him, back in June 2008 (he was just under three months old at this point).

This one is of him showing Bear how to use the computer:

And finally, THIS video which I took about a month or so ago. Where he is loving on Bear without knowing that I was filming him. (He’s KISSING Bear – the open mouth “biting” that he does is exactly what he does to me when I ask for a kiss.

And really, the cuteness at the end – where he tries to get me to smile – is too much for me.

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15 Comments »

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  1. that is so sweet. I can picture him with his bear playing in the water!!! Lyla never got attached to anything like Baby O and his Bear.

  2. That’s great that he’ll accept duplicates of his bear. I’ve heard some kids only want the one. My son has not formed any attachments like that so far. It sounds very cute – but a little stressful.

  3. The name Hermione existed before Harry Potter? (I live under a rock).

  4. I rarely comment, cause I just never can think of witty things to say, but I had to comment on this one…

    only to say…let go of the guilt momma!

    You are clearly a loving caring parent, and Baby O looks to be thriving! Kids have security items, its what they DO. I had a security blanket that I carried EVERYWHERE til it was funky,(and I actually STILL have it, under my pillow, heehee), and I had a stay at home Mom. It has nothing to do with you working.

    I hate seeing other good Mom’s feeling guilt. Ech. I wish there was a way we could all give ourselves a break!

  5. Definitely don’t feel guilty. Yes he has a security blanket, but he might have that even if you were home 24/7. You’re a wonderful mom. Every kid should be so lucky.

  6. I had a poppel that I was the same way with. Actually, I had a hoarde of animals I was that way with. But….the poppel was special.

    I WISH my children were attached to SOMETHING, ANYTHING sometimes. Especially Ethan with his Inability To Calm Himself. But alas, there has been no attachment in this house.

    Now go! Buy more bears!

  7. Just a suggestion…the one you have in a ziplock bag…start putting it into the crib rotation so it get worn in evenly. Otherwise when you whip out a brand new one, no wear marks or shrinkage from washing, he’ll know its not his “real” bear. My daughter Kallie was obcessed with “Fisher” a toy bear and since they weren’t made anymore I found one brand new in box on ebay and kept him safe. Sure enough when FIsher got lost in the house(we never took him out) I whipped out “Fisher-2” and she touched him and tossed him across the room. Counldn’t fool her…this one was too yellow and taller from never being washed. Instead we stayed up 2 hours searching for Fisher. “Fisher-2” is now allowed to play with them but he’s been renamed “Brother Bear” because he’s Fishers big brother…since he hasn’t been washed much and shrunk from stuffing adjustments.

    Kids get to know every fluff, mark, tear, whole and love marks on their best friends…you can’t fool them with a brand new one!! They’re too smart 🙂

  8. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Lots of kids have security blankets — both my kids were pretty attached to their blankets (my younger son particularly), and I’m a SAHM. I think you can step off the guilt-trip bus now. 🙂

  9. I took my blankie everywhere with me. It was my something old when I got married. My mom pinned it under my wedding dress.

    Can we see a pic of O with bear?

  10. Hehe. It’s so cool when they try and make you smile.

    Bea

  11. That video is so sweet.

  12. […] thing is, we only have one of them. I need to be like Serenity who wisely has three of her son’s lovies in her […]

  13. Cute! I adore I & N’s lovies… in fact I have thought of buying one for myself!

  14. Adorable! D has a doudou as we call it here in France, he only uses it to sleep with and he loves it.

    Most kids do have one until they’re are at least 4 years old or so.

    i think its better than a pacifier and it comes in very useful when they fall and need comforting.

    At the moment, mine is my u shaped pregnancy pillow I sleep with 🙂

    x

  15. The bear love is precious.
    Thank goodness you have so many back-up bears!
    The video was hilarious. It’s great to see how much O is grown! What a sweetheart.


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