The Starting Line.

September 7, 2010 at 12:00 pm | Posted in doctor, FET #4, Infertility, Mythical #2 | 28 Comments

At my last meeting with Dr. HIT, he told me that yes, we were still infertile, as J’s SA was a mere 2 million total sperm with 0% morphology (great motility, though. 60%. So they move, just in circles). But we were cleared for a cycle, once the insurance paperwork had cleared.

Three weeks ago the billing coordinator called me – the insurance paperwork had cleared.

So J and I went about figuring out The Plan for the cycle.

Initially we decided that we’d go ahead and cycle whenever I got AF. Which meant a transfer at the end of September.

Which meant I’d either be in my 2ww or potentially pregnant for my half marathon.

Which, you know, wouldn’t be AWFUL. But we thought, well, since we only have two blastocysts and aren’t planning on a fresh cycle again, maybe we should try and see if we can manipulate the cycle for a later transfer.

We could, with the birth control pill, my nurse told me. She instructed me that I’d take the pill for ten days, then get another AF, then we’d start the meds and do a transfer 19 days after then.

Which would put a transfer smack dab into the middle of our visit to Texas to visit my parents.

Well that wouldn’t work.

Okay, so if we took a cycle off, we could just try again next month.

Which would put us near a transfer during the time where J and I were away for my birthday, just the two of us, in Nantucket.

And if we waited another cycle, it would be Thanksgiving. Then Christmas.

Or maybe we could stay on the pill for longer to get it to a point where we could have the transfer at some point AFTER we got home from Texas but BEFORE we go to Nantucket…

So when I got AF yesterday, I was COMPLETELY fed up with trying to plan and schedule the Perfect Cycle.

Truth is, the timing will NEVER be perfect.

Because we’re in the business of, you know, living our lives.

And every time I thought about changing something to make sure transfer falls on a ‘better’ day, I got really bitter.

Because 6 out of 7 couples DON’T think about the timing and whether it’ll be perfect. They just say “well, let’s see what happens.”

And I didn’t even want to fucking GO back to the doctor in the FIRST place.

But it’s our reality. We need our doctor and IVF to conceive.

So when I called my nurse today to report day one, I asked her for her opinion.

She said, “You know, Serenity, if a cycle is going to fail, it’s not because of anything that you did or didn’t do. It usually fails because it was going to fail.”

She went on to tell me that because this isn’t new – I’ve been running regularly for a year and a half now – there was absolutely NO medical reason why we should wait until after the half marathon for a transfer.

And then she said “Sometimes it’s easier to blame a particular thing we do as the Reason Why it didn’t work. Truth is, there isn’t much you can do that will affect whether or not it will work. It’s statistics and DNA and all sorts of things you have no control over.”

Have I mentioned how much I love my nurse?

So that did it for J and I. We decided to move forward with a cycle.

Now.

Not waiting until after the half, not trying to manipulate dates with birth control pills.

We’re going to do what the other 6 out of 7 people do. Move forward and see what happens.

So I started my estradiol this morning (2mg tablets 2x a day), and put on my patch (vivelle patch, change every three days). I have an ultrasound and bloodwork scheduled for 7am Sunday September 19. And if all looks well then, they’re targeting a transfer date of Friday, September 24.

So here we are, at the starting line again.

Advertisements

28 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Sounds like a solid plan. Kudos for going forth. Hopefully this will be a sprint and not a marathon.

  2. Wishing you the very best.

  3. Wow, very exciting.

    As I was reading this entry I kept thinking “there will always be something and never a “perfect” time” and I’m glad you concluded the same.

    Live your life and work this in and try to remain ‘zen’ about it (as much as you can muster).

  4. Even MY tummy did a flip flop knowing that a transfer is just a couple of Mondays away. As you said, just see what happens. No one has a crystal ball, or if they did, it’s just a scam.

  5. Sounds like a good plan. I will have fingers and toes crossed all the way.

    The only assvice I have is to try and let yourself relax about coming under the two hour mark. That was my goal last year, and I was on target until kilometre 14, and then I just ran out of energy. I was suddenly freezing cold and shaking and I thought I was going to throw up. I backed off, drank Gatorade at the next stop, and finished less than three minutes over the two hour mark. I choose to view that as a triumph, even though at the time I was disappointed to be so close.

    You have been training so hard I’ll bet you’ll just sail through. But if you hit a wall, forgive yourself and ease back. Recovery was really hard on my body when I pushed too much.

    xxx
    T.

  6. On your mark, get set, GO! Sounds like a great time to be at the starting line!

  7. I hope this works for you. I sincerely do šŸ™‚

    But…and I know you know this on some level…just because a couple can concieve without assistance, doesn’t mean we don’t still plan and take many things into consideration. Is it the right time financially(because assistance aside kids cost money), am I done schooling. Am I travelling somewhere that month. Am I moving? All our children are 27 months apart almost to the day. So yes I am very blessed to be able to concieve on my “schedule” as such, but I still had to deal with is it the right time for the family to grow, I was in the middle of a move the day I ovulated so I wasn’t about to stop the friends and say…”hey give me and Dan an hour please” so that month we didn’t try since by the time I had an hour or two I was exhausted from hefting boxes and dealing with a fussy toddler so conception that month went out the window. Yes I was lucky that I was able to put it off a month and know with fairly good odds it was going to work for us when we did want to try…believe me I FEEL how lucky we are that way. But I just wanted to try and gently remind you that most couples out there do plan. They aren’t all slutty, drunk teens that get pregnant naturally. Some of us put anal retentive planning into it. And we get lucky. Really…with reproduction its all about luck of the draw.

    Although I will say, women that say they are all about starting a family but then decide to put off trying just because they want to fit into a bridesmaids dress in 5 months piss me off. either be a pregnant bridesmaid or bow out of the wedding. That always makes me feel like they don’t “deserve” to get pregnant if they are that vain. I know so many women that would kill to have to worry about bursting out of an outfit.

    • Alex – sorry, I totally didn’t mean to make it seem that fertile couples don’t plan in the sense that they I’m SURE do. I just meant that they didn’t plan down to the very DAY that they do the transfer – okay, I think I’d like to get pregnant on a Tuesday in October between this trip and that trip. And that’s what I was trying to do.

      Overall, The Plan is that we feel as ready as we’re going to, with a 2.5 year old at home. We can afford daycare for another. Work-wise, June/July is a good time for me to take a maternity leave if we’re lucky enough to get pregnant. Etc.

      So there IS a plan. Just not a day to day, shall I stay on the pill for 10 or 12 or 14 days in the hopes that I’ll get to transfer an embryo in the middle of two weekends when we’ll be out of town? THAT’S The Planning I skipped.

      šŸ™‚

      • No…I do understand how you meant it…sorry if it seemed like I didn’t. I know(as well as I can without being in your shoes) how scheduled and regimented you guys have to be, so I know what you mean that way. I just meant to that we(fertile planners in general) do have to think about life details too. I mean I was literally doing it down to the day(ummm the planning is the “it” I meant not that other it…although…)to make sure we were able to conceive when we wanted according to our “times” However I TOTALLY get that with my…if I missed a month likely next month I would be able to conceive barring any other life upsets. And in that way it is a lot less…how do I say this without offending someone…traumatizing/heartbreaking/gut wrenching are the words I can imagine you would feel, to have to only try again next month. As oppose to month after month, year after year. My baby making didn’t depend on if I could afford to even get pregnant(I can’t even begin to imagine how we would have swung that if it had), but it did depend on whether I could afford to raise them the way they deserved etc. So…thats where the planning and thinking and decisions came in.

        I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I have no clue how you ladies are so strong. It awes and amazes me. But then, for the love of a child, how can you not be strong. Momma bear instinct takes over before conception, doesn’t it?

  8. I think I love your nurse too!!!

    Good luck!

  9. OMG, I got chills — literally — when i got to the part where you’re starting NOW!! Good chills, of course. I’m so excited and hopeful for you!!

  10. I totally agree with your post – we can’t wait until we’re the perfect dress size, or have the right timing to live our life. We just have to go when we can. Glad you’re off to the races.

  11. Wishing you the best with this cycle. There is no good time, so no time like the present!

  12. What a wonderful nurse you have, indeed! Good luck to you!

  13. I don’t know…a big runner myself (sub 3 hr marathon!, yes, bragging:>), but to give my cycle the best possible chance, I wouldn’t train/run a 1/2 marathon. There are other times to train/run a half-marathon (I ran one 19 weeks pregnant, started “training” after I got out of 1st trimester). But then, my psycho self is not good w/ moderation and training=50-80 MPW. Your training may not be so psycho. To each their own. I know some people that think I am insane for continuing to do the elliptical while cycling. You have to find a path that makes the most sense to you. My RE recommends not running more than 20 MPW.

    Best of luck!!

    • Holy crap Kate – you log 50-80 MPW for a half marathon? Eek. (And by that I mean GO YOU! Sub 3 hour marathon – you’re awesome!!!)

      No, my mileage tops out this week at 28, 25 next week, then 21, then 14, then 13.1 the week of the half. So I’m definitely not logging that many miles right now.

      • Yeah, I know, psycho. :> But, it got me an awesome PR last year (1:21). Hope its a fun race. The worst part about IF for me (other than you know, the needles, the physical, emotional, & financial turmoil) is not being able to run a ton. I’m addicted. Sigh. Maybe if/when I ever get pregnant again, I’ll be able to run again.

      • PS–that amount sounds totally do-able w/ the FET.

  14. Awesome nurse! Go for it, Serenity!

  15. I am very happy and excited for you!!!!!!!!!! Good luck

  16. Oooh, good for you! I am glad you came to this conclusion, and I wish you the best of luck!

  17. So exciting! I’m glad you decided to go for it. I’ll have everything crossed for you. Good chance I’ll have another IUI not long after your transfer date … we may be cycling together *again* šŸ™‚

  18. I love your nurse and I love that you are at the starting line again! Good luck!

  19. Your nurse is a very wise woman.

    I’ll be praying for a successful cycle…good luck!

  20. What a great, and very sensible nurse!

    Best of luck for this cycle. Will have things crossed.

    Bea

  21. Fantastic! And a transfer on my birthday, it has to be a good sign šŸ˜‰
    Good Luck! x

  22. Good luck

  23. Eeeeck. I am sorry that you can’t just “see what happens….” It isn’t fair. Not.at.all. And, it;s ok for you to say that, too.
    Abiding with you…..


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: