Riding the Rollercoaster.

November 9, 2010 at 6:08 pm | Posted in FET #5: Last Chance Waltz, Pregnancy | 18 Comments

I confess what you probably all know already: I freaked the fuck out when I saw the blood.

Because in my mind, it was AF. Which meant that it was All Over. The End.

However.

The blood was short-lived. I saw it mostly on the tissue, though some did get onto my pantyliner. The pad I used when I got home (because yes, I freaked out enough that I drove myself home)?

Doesn’t have a spot on it right now.

For those of you who are curious, I do have some tiny brownish pieces when I pee. No more cramping, though.

And I did run this morning. 4 miles, albeit at a MUCH slower pace than I usually do.

I also continue to have nasty side effects from the crinone – passed a pretty big chunk of impacted fun yesterday.

So it’s possible that my cervix is irritated.

Or, this could be the end, and the bleeding I had today was breakthrough bleeding through the meds.

I’m going in for a blood test tomorrow on my clinic’s suggestion.

If the embryo continued to develop at the pace the first two betas indicated, my levels should be around 2900-3000. If it were to still be considered viable, then it needs to be around 1100 or so.

(Yes, I’ve been playing on betabase.)

I am really TRYING not to freak out. Your stories about bleeding and how it was normal for your pregnancies are very helpful.

But I can’t get past the fear entirely. I fear that I’m waiting for the end.

Just riding the rollercoaster for now.

I’ll post tomorrow when I know more.