Realism.November 11, 2010 at 7:52 am | Posted in FET #5: Last Chance Waltz, Pregnancy | 33 Comments
Here are the facts:
I have had no more spotting since the episode on Tuesday.
750 is a 63 hour doubling time from the 198 we got last Friday. Pretty far from the median doubling time of 40 hours that’s reported on betabase, and much slower than the initial doubling time we measured of 31 hours.
750 is also below the median of 1248 for 21dpo. However, it’s close to the median for 20dpo, and since we started low, it’s not THAT far off, if you look at it as one data point.
Those are facts.
But it’s the doubling time that’s got me. My nurse not only told me that we were right on the cusp, but she told me to stay cautiously optimistic.
How is 63 hours “on a cusp?” How is that something to be excited about?
I think it’s medical speak for there isn’t much we can do, so we’ll give you some hope, but we think this is going to resolve itself in the next few days. But we do want you in for an ultrasound sooner to make sure this failing pregnancy is, in fact, in your uterus, and not in a place where it puts your health at risk.
Okay, clearly that’s pessimism and anger at the situation speaking.
But seriously. Realistically, is there much hope in this being viable?
Because I don’t see it. I can’t be cautiously optimistic, even, that I have HcG in my body AND it’s still rising. (I see ectopic or molar, actually.)
But from the beginning of this cycle, I thought it was going to fail. I didn’t think I would get a BFP. Even after I got the positive hpt, I thought it was a chemical.
So I clearly am not balanced in how I view this whole thing, not even CLOSE.
So tell me.
Is there reason to hope?
Or is this doomed?