Gratitude.November 12, 2010 at 5:30 am | Posted in FET #5: Last Chance Waltz, Pregnancy, The Community | 10 Comments
One of the Big Facebook Things this month is that all my FB friends are posting things for which they are grateful.
Usually each day; it’s sort of a take on NoBloMo.
Today I want to thank each and every one of you.
I am so, so grateful for this community.
Because not only did you all give me a renewed sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, this isn’t doomed… with REAL FACTS…
None of you called my hysterical, or irrational, or crazy.
(Even though I HAVE been hysterical and irrational and crazy.)
Somehow, in the years of negatives prior to having O, I managed by expecting the worst and then planning around it. I did it my entire pregnancy with him, actually – was terrified of losing him until the very end, when my water broke and I was in the hospital, listening to that gallop of his heartbeat on the monitors, and I knew I didn’t have to rely on my body anymore.
I really don’t want to do that again.
So here’s where I’m at today. I am pregnant. I don’t know how long this will last, or if today’s beta draw will be The End. If it is, we’ll deal with it when we get there.
But as of right now, there is a little embryo inside me who is trying to grow. And I owe it to myself and that life to acknowledge that while there is fear, there IS hope, too.
I really don’t have the words to thank you for being here, waiting with me, giving me support when I’ve been so clearly out of my mind over the past couple of days.
Thank you so much.