Loss.November 14, 2010 at 9:33 am | Posted in FET #5: Last Chance Waltz, Infertility | 26 Comments
Trying for a baby after having O is a lot different, I said.
Loss is, too.
It struck me last night, right after J turned out the light.
Before O, embryos were chances at having a baby.
I have a picture of my funny, gorgeous, sweet soul of a son when he was just a chance.
Yes, it’s different now.
That embryo, the one that tried so hard to implant in this cycle?
It is a LIFE to me.
I feel like someone gave me something precious to hold, delicate and important… and I dropped it and broke it.
I feel like an awful mother, killing my child when he was at his most vulnerable.
I feel empty.
I am not okay.