Heartbroken.

November 19, 2010 at 1:10 pm | Posted in My life | 29 Comments

I got an urgent message on Facebook from my cousin last night.

What is your number?

When I got the call, I knew it wasn’t going to be good news.

My aunt – my godmother – had an apparent stroke while driving home from Cape Cod yesterday.

My uncle was in India at the time, so the family decided to ignore the DNR and put her on life support until he could get home.

He took her off life support this morning, and she passed away at 9:45am.

I’m numb.

My aunt Judy is gone.

She was my favorite person when I was growing up. She allowed us cookies and ice cream for dinner whenever we were there.

She let my cousin Amy have a messy room, which I was NOT allowed.

She held AWESOME Halloween parties, where she dressed up like a witch, turned the downstairs rec room into a haunted house, and coordinated a parade down the street.

She made me feel like despite the fact that I was a smart talking kid who never listened to my mom, I was worthy of being loved.

She made me dance the polka with her at my grandfather’s wedding, even though I was in middle school and way too cool for the polka. And I had fun, and laughed and danced and giggled with her.

She made me feel like I was part of HER family when I lived with them for two months when my parents moved to NY.

She never blamed me for not calling her for years after Amy’s death, knowing that I needed space and time to grieve on my own.

And she welcomed visits and talks when I was ready.

She got angry with me when I confessed I felt guilt every day for not doing more for Amy before she died.

She insisted that it wasn’t my fault, and she refused to consider that I was even involved at ALL with what happened.

She opened her vacation house on Cape Cod every year to J and I, took J deep sea fishing, and always made me feel loved and wanted and happy I was part of her family.

I cannot even fathom a world where she’s not a part. Where I won’t get to spend another vacation with her.

I am absolutely heartbroken.

Advertisements

29 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Oh, Serenity. I am so incredibly sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. I’m so sorry! It sounds like she was a wonderful person to have in your life.

  3. I’m so, so sorry. Sudden deaths are some of the hardest in many ways. 😦

  4. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    Reading your post, brought two things to my mind–one, she sounds like an incredibly wonderful human being and two–I hope I am as good an Aunt as she was to you.

  5. I am so sorry to hear this and know this is an incredibly sad time.

    I hope that in the coming days and weeks, your good memories with your Aunt bring you comfort.

  6. I am so sad for your loss, she sounds like a wonderful person and her passing will leave a great hole in your life. Warm hugs to you.

  7. I am so sorry you have lost such an important, beautiful person in your life. hugs

  8. I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was more than an aunt, but a second mother to you. Thinking of you and all who love your Aunt Judy.

  9. I’m so sorry for your loss, especially as it comes at an already hard time. I’ll keep your family in my thoughts

  10. I’m so sorry for this sudden loss. I hope everyone there is coping ok.

    Bea

  11. I too am so sorry to hear of your loss Serenity.

  12. I am so sorry.

  13. I am so sorry for yor loss sweetie. It sounds like she was a really amazing woman, and I know you must be devistated. Please know my heart is with you and your family right now. Hugs.

    Erica

  14. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

  15. The old saying “When it rains, it pours.” comes to mind. I’m so sorry. One bad thing is bad enough but when it piles on like this, well, it just isn’t fair. Not one bit. I’m sorry.

  16. My heartfelt sympathies to you and your families, my dear. May the memories of those happy times help heal your broken heart.

  17. I’m so sorry. You and your entire family will be in my thoughts.

  18. Oh Serenity…I’m so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

  19. What a tribute you just wrote. I can tell she knew what she meant to you and clearly you know what she meant to you. Now take what you loved about her and make it your own.

  20. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like a wonderful person.

  21. I’m so sorry for your loss. My favorite uncle died suddenly 4 years ago. I have lovely memories but wish I had been able to say goodbye.

  22. My condolences to you and your family as you deal with the sudden loss of your aunt, who by all accounts, sounds like an absolutely wonderful woman. My mom said to me years ago, “When someone you love so deeply dies, you can take the things you love and remember about them and repeat them in your own life. That’s one way you can keep their memory alive.” I have to say… the Halloween tradition sounds spectacular. It’s something that I aspire to do in my own family. Now to organize a street parade too! Much love Serenity. We’re praying for you and yours at this difficult time.

  23. Oh Serenity, I am so sorry. This is such a hard time, and to have this too. My heart is with you.

  24. I’m so sorry for your loss. You have been through so much lately. My thoughts are with you.

  25. So very, very sorry for your loss.

    (((hugs)))

  26. I’m so sorry. Serenity.

  27. I am sorry you have lost your aunt. She sounds like such a wonderful person.

  28. oh sweetie, I am so so sorry.
    *HUG*

  29. Your aunt sounds like a amazing person! Sending you lots of love and warm thoughts.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: