Epiphany at 25,000 feet.December 14, 2010 at 7:27 pm | Posted in Career angst | 12 Comments
I think it was the conversation I had with my uncle this weekend.
About how he left his PhD program in the middle, but how he’s always harbored a desire to be a college professor.
The epiphany struck me last night, when I was on my plane to Chicago.
I am really unhappy with my career.
For all the bitching I did about my accounting firm, I loved working with really intelligent people. The kind of people who looked AHEAD to the new pronouncements, delved into technical guidance, who pushed you to try new things, learn new areas, talk to people you may have thought were out of your league like CEOs, CFOs, and audit committee members.
Mostly, though, I miss learning.
I am NOT an accountant, not the kind that is any good at closing. I hate doing the same thing over and over; detest the robotics, don’t really CARE about whether or not an expense hits the correct cost center.
Every morning, when I drop O off at daycare and am left alone with my thoughts, I grow more and more morose as I commute into work.
And last night, when I was thinking about the idea of getting a PhD, I grew excited.
Because I have IDEAS. About how to use my band director’s legacy of leadership training and apply it to something I already have – my MBA and CPA. I could study corporate leadership and how it affects accounting policies; the correlation between employee empowerment and ethics and accounting policy and business results. Whether it’s best to have a visionary at the helm of a company and the operations to follow.
I don’t know.
But all of a sudden, I’m EXCITED about about something to do with work. I love the idea of exploring an idea and running with it. Of immersing myself in academia, teaching college kids basic accounting and financial statement analysis.
I’m probably romanticizing it, I know. So go ahead and tell me so.
But what this means for me? I am NOT destined to work a job I hate for the next 20 years. I can DO something about it to change it. I just need to figure out how and when and the next step, and maybe I CAN do something I DO feel passionate about. Maybe it can even USE the degrees I have, instead of throwing them away to start new.
Maybe, just maybe, I can feel excited about what I do again someday.