She’s so (Heavy).February 28, 2011 at 2:20 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 19 Comments
Trying to blog after Friday’s post is sort of hard.
Mostly because I’m still processing through it all.
O’s foray into the World of Underpants has not really been successful. He won’t sit on the potty unless we bribe him. Initially we tried one M&M. By the third time we asked?
He was frigging negotiating with us. He wanted MORE than just one measly M&M.
It’s enough for him to sit for a millisecond, pop up and announce he’s all done, then shuffle over to the TP roll, pull off a square or two, flush it down, put his potty ring away, drop the lid, ask me for help with his pants, then demand his M&Ms.
So I had to enact the “No Millisecond Rule” – where he’ll actually GET his M&Ms if he sits there long enough to get through one of his books.
I’m sure that will last for a day or so until he’s done with it.
And. There has been NO activity INTO the potty however. Not at school, not at home.
But. There have been accidents.
Where remaining neutral is no issue for me, nor him, I’m more concerned about the fact that, when it happens, he simply doesn’t CARE.
He just goes on doing what he’s doing. He walks a little funny, but it’s no big deal.
So we’ll do this for a bit – the underwear time. And we’ll keep him in pull ups at school so that he CAN take them on and off in the chance that he actually WANTS to use the potty there.
But, as I said to J this weekend, I refuse to do anything more until he shows more signs that he actually is interested in potty training. Otherwise it’s going to be an exercise in frustration for all of us.
And trust me, I have enough frustration in my life right now to keep me going.
I have also renewed my subscription to weight watchers. Because I am not running and/or swimming nearly enough to burn off whatever I want to eat.
I am currently up 8lbs from my lowest point last April, which, you know, is FINE.
But I’m 5lbs from where I am comfortable. And my pants are tight and uncomfortable.
And I have no idea when I can start training for any sort of race because I have no idea when we’ll be done with this TTC business.
So it’s time to ratchet back the afternoon chocolate-fests and ice cream desserts, I fear.
Which sucks. Because right now I am Queen of Emotional Eating.
But it’s the right thing to do. I really don’t want my emotional heaviness to be the impetus for me to pack on the pounds.
I thought therapy was supposed to HELP.
Right now? I actually feel WORSE, if that’s even possible. I THOUGHT I was miserable, back in November.
Now? I just feel HEAVY. I don’t want to talk about anything, I don’t want to admit anything more. I just want to pretend that I’m okay, and fake it until I make it.
Can’t do that when you’re sitting on a therapist’s couch once a week.
I suppose I’m just going to have to ride it out.
In the meantime, if you come across my self-esteem, will you send it back to me?