The (Somewhat Freaky) Perfect Moment Wednesday.

March 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm | Posted in My life | 13 Comments

J and I have gone to bed, too late per our usual.

So I fall asleep very quickly.

Which isn’t unusual for me, my insomnia usually comes later at night, when I wake up and can’t get BACK to sleep.

And I’m not certain what exactly wakes me up.

But I roll over, awake for a second.

And find O standing at the side of my bed.

Quietly, clutching his bear and blanket.

Waiting for me to wake up.

Before I am fully awake, I am asking him if he wants to come in bed with us.

He moves to climb in.

I pick him up, glancing at the clock as I put him in between J and I.

12:30.

His hands are cold and he’s wide awake.

I have no idea how long he was standing there.

So I whisper: Hey kiddo. It’s the middle of the night. Can we can go back to your bed?

He nods, and then sits up.

So I pick him up. He wraps himself around me and rests his head on my chest.

When we go back into his room, he whispers: I want to rock, Mommy.

So I wrap him up in three of his baby blankets, and we rock silently, listening to the faint strains of classical music on his radio.

I’m reminded of his overnight feedings as an infant – my absolute favorite time of night. Where he’d nurse hungrily, away from all the distractions of sights and sounds.

And it was just him and me, rocking in the dim light of his room.

For a moment, we’re right back there.

Then he moves, and I can tell he’s warmer and getting sleepy.

So I walk him over to his bed, where he curls right up under his blankets.

It takes him longer than I thought to fall asleep. He keeps opening his eyes and looking at me, as if to make sure I’m still there.

When I’m sure he’s asleep, I back out of his room, nearly silently, and I close his door.

I climb back into my bed, my heart full of love.

There is no insomnia tonight.

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13 Comments »

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  1. You are such an amazing writer, Serenity. Thank you for sharing this very private, beautiful moment with us.

  2. I love those special moments. They become too few and far between so it’s so important to cherish them when they happen. Beautiful post Serenity. Thank you.

  3. Such a beautiful post. Got a big ol’ lump in my throat. You still have a boy that needs his mommy very much. I loved middle of the night feedings too:> Swoon.

  4. Those are the BEST moments. Aiden isn’t one much for rocking but when Livi is in the mood she asks for “rock a baby” which is her code for me rocking and singing to her like when she was nursing. My heart is rarely more full then when we sit in the dark and I can feel her soft breath against me. It’s a good feeling.

  5. This post made me tear up and remember those nights with my son when it felt like there was no one else in the world except him and me and it was perfect.

  6. Simply perfect. 🙂

  7. That moment is what we are all dreaming about, what we want so desperately! Thanks for sharing your moment with us.

  8. Serenity….those moments may not come often, but they will come again. Usually when you need them the most 🙂

  9. This is so beautiful. Made me cry. I love these moments!

  10. That’s awesome.

  11. That was so beautiful I cried.
    Thank you for the running support – it is deeply appreciated.

  12. This was beautifully written! Although I try to keep him in his bed at night, I must admit I also treasure those odd cuddles when my four-year old son wakes up cold and come and climb in with me to get warm again. They grow up so quickly and I know that I will miss these times.

  13. My heart literally MELTED reading this.
    *sigh*


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