Tangled.

March 23, 2011 at 9:30 am | Posted in Infertility, milestones | 8 Comments

We’ve been talking with O about his big boy bed for ages now, it seems.

Friends of ours gave us a frame and a boxspring, so all we needed was a mattress.

As an aside, did you know that there are places that try to get people to pay $399 for twin mattress? Seriously? I mean, I don’t want to be CHEAP, but four hundred dollars is RIDICULOUS for a THREE YEAR OLD.

I’m just saying.

Initially, we ended up getting one from a fly-by-night operation. It never really felt right, and after three weeks when they kept telling us that they “still didn’t have it from the warehouse,” we told them to go screw.

So then we went to a reputable place instead and got a mattress where we knew it wasn’t coming off the back of a truck somewhere.

O has been pretty darn excited about his big boy bed. So even though I was going to be out last night, I told him that he should ask his Daddy to put it together for him.

Which J did.

He went to sleep just fine in it, according to my husband.

And when I got home, I tiptoed into his room to check on him.

Now. In general, I haven’t minded saying goodbye to Baby O. With every milestone, I’ve really looked at it as welcoming the big kid into our house. I’ve relished how much easier it’s gotten, how we need less STUFF whenever we travel, how independent O is getting, how excited I am to be able to DO things with him.

But last night, when I stood in his room, looking at his impossibly small form sacked out in this new bed, I had a flash of the future.

Of creeping into his room and seeing my impossibly BIG kid sleeping as a teenager.

My heart nearly seized up with emotion.

Maybe it’s because we’re not certain now if we’ll have another baby, because we’re looking down the barrel at the End of Trying. Maybe it’s because I’m realizing that we got really damn lucky the first time. Maybe it’s because I’m hormonal from AF. Maybe it’s a product of six months of failed treatments.

But last night, I cried bittersweet tears.

It’s going by so fast.

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8 Comments »

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  1. Hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.

    The nice thing, according to my mum, is no matter how big O gets, he’s always going to be your baby, and you can torment him with this when he is a teenager/off to university/getting married. Kids never really grow up in their mum’s eyes.

  2. Aw, hon. I feel the same way. I’m going to avoid getting that big boy bed and seeing that my baby is gone for as long as possible. Do you think 6 is too old to make the transition to big boy bed???

  3. I cried when the girls reached this milestone. It came far too quickly — they weren’t even 2 years old. : ( I haven’t been weepy about most things, but saying goodbye to the cribs was very, very bittersweet and absolutely intensified by our infertility experience. That was in late September, and I still feel a pang most nights.

    One of D’s co-workers gave us two mattresses and box frames. I love that man. We don’t have frames yet and I’m not in any rush. If the girls roll out of bed, they don’t have far too fall.

  4. My children are 6 years a part & we suffered from secondary infertility. My oldest in her big girl bed was VERY hard. Sending warm hugs your way.

  5. aw. They all grow up too fast … *hugs*

  6. Agh! I both love and despise those nighttime glimpses into the future. So proud and happy and yet so sad.

  7. they are, they are growing up too fast, and I feel that more and more every day.
    I am glad he liked his bed, glad that he is sleeping in it, and just sending you virtual hugs !

  8. Last week I got back some of the old videotapes I sent off for DVD conversion. Let me tell you, watching them, hearing the boys voices…well I went back and forth from laughing to crying and blowing my nose.

    Sweetie….it DOES go fast. I blinked and now they are adults. (which sadly means that it is most likely that I have aged too) Get as many things on record as you can, it’s amazing how life spirals away from you sometimes.


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