April 14, 2011 at 3:12 pm | Posted in IVF #5: This is IT., The End of Trying | 6 Comments

I went in for my first wanding and bloodwork at my clinic this morning.

A bunch of teeny tiny follicles showed up. Nothing measurable, but since my clinic’s threshold is 12mm, I didn’t really expect much different.

My E2 of today was 184. Which makes me really happy. It’s nearly identical to the level I had on this day during the cycle I got pregnant with O.

Which means low, slow, steady progress.

Exactly what I was hoping for from this cycle.

Physically, I feel okay. I’m bruising with every injection, a result of the low-dose aspirin. I can FEEL my ovaries, but it’s not uncomfortable.


I am definitely at the point where I will stop running – mostly because I’m worried, moreso than the fact that I’m uncomfortable. My plan, currently, is to switch over to the pool from here to at LEAST a week after retrieval.

Not sure what my plan is beyond that – right now I can really only look at one week at a time.

Funny thing about this cycle. I know I haven’t gotten to the real obsession point yet (i.e. after retrieval, 2ww, etc).

But right now, I feel a strong sense of PEACE.

Overwhelmingly, I am very much looking forward to the end of treatments. The relief I feel when I think of The End of Trying is nearly stronger than my desire to be pregnant in the first place.

Which means that the decision to walk away when we’re done with this cycle is the RIGHT one.

(Right now, anyway.)

Mind you, the idea of being done is not without little daggers. Yesterday I ran into a daycare mom, whose infant daughter started at our daycare last summer – just around the time O moved into the older toddler rooom.

Her daughter is now walking – and she’s visibly pregnant.

I wasn’t expecting it, and so it was hard to catch my breath.

But then I went upstairs and got my kid, who happily chattered about his day the whole way home.

I expect it’ll be a while before pregnant bellies won’t affect me.

But this is real PROGRESS. I’ve never cycled before where there wasn’t SOME form of obsessing early on. Even in the cycle where I got pregnant with O, I was worried I was going too low, too slow, etc etc.

I’ll take it. The less obsessing and worrying I can do, as far as I’m concerned, the better.

We’ll see how long it lasts.



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  1. I hope it lasts a very long nine months…

  2. Yes, what BigP’s Heather said.

  3. I third that! Good luck

  4. I’m really happy for you! Here’s to slow and steady, and most importantly, to peace.

  5. Ooh good news on the progress! Glad to hear you’re feeling alright with the cycle so far 🙂 sorry about the daycare mom, it really sucks when things are going swell and a belly appears! :S

  6. Ditto Heather. : )

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