April 28, 2011 at 11:01 am | Posted in Battles (aka: toddlerhood), milestones | 9 Comments

*I can’t take credit for this word – it was my friend D who came up with it. But I LOVE IT and I’m using it.


I feel like ass.

I’m tired, I’m bloated, my ovaries are still super tender and sore, and I have little patience for pretty much anything right now.

It’s pretty awesome.

I was hoping that I’d be able to try a slow two mile run on Sunday, but we’ll see about that.

I either want to feel BETTER, or I want to have a REASON for feeling like ass.

Right now it’s neither.


I did NOT get a number in the New York City Marathon lottery yesterday.


I had initially thought about running the Philadelphia Marathon instead, which is two weeks after New York, but I looked at the course yesterday and it’s an out and back.

I HATE out and back races. For my first marathon? Yeah maybe not so much.

So I’m now considering doing the Marine Corps Marathon in DC at the end of October instead. It’s Halloween weekend, which doesn’t really make me feel good because O will miss trick or treating, but maybe he won’t care.

Plus we have friends and family who live in the DC area, so maybe we can have him trick or treat there. Who knows?

You know, if this doesn’t work. I have to have PLANS!


I do know that the pressure to justify my position is all internally-generated. After re-reading my blog post and your comments on it, I did realize that it seemed like I was assigning blame or something.

Really, I’ve spent the majority of my life fighting to PROVE something.

I am working to getting to a place where I can just say this is our choice and we think it’s the right one.

Going to be a long road, but at least I’m working on it.


With O, we have been stymied on the potty training front. Regressed, actually.

O has refused to SIT on the potty, refused to TALK about the potty, refused everything about it.

We dropped it for a month, then decided to see if we could incent him with something else.

We think we’ve found something.


The movie, that is. He received a copy of the movie for his birthday, and LOVES it. He got a Mater for his birthday too, and immediately asked for a Lightning McQueen, which we got him during a shopping trip when he had been particularly helpful.

He LOVES his Lightning McQueen. For the past month, Lightning has gone with us EVERYWHERE. In the car. To school (where O “parks” him in my backseat so that he “doesn’t get lost”).

Every night, he’ll park both Mater and Lightning right next to his clock radio. It’s the first thing he picks up in the morning.

(Seriously. It’s LOVE. Last night? He even KISSED Lightning McQueen goodnight.)

So when he asked us for a Mack – the 18 wheeler that hauls Lightning McQueen – J and I had the idea that we’d use it as an incentive for going on the potty.

We told him that he would get a Mack if he went pee or poo on the potty. In the meantime, I went and used a gift card to get the damn toy.

Which he has repeated to us for nearly two weeks. Mommy! I have to go pee or poo on the potty and THEN I get my Mack!

But yeah, not so much on actually SITTING on the potty.

So Mack has been sitting in our dining room closet for those two weeks.

So we upped the ante the other night and SHOWED him the Mack.

Oh was it ever a FAIL.

Because he immediately went and SAT on the potty. The poor child spend an hour on the damn thing to no avail.

And then when it was time for us to go to bed… he fell apart. He wanted Mack RIGHT NOW! He sobbed like his heart would break when we told him, no, we were SO proud of him for trying so hard, but the rule was he had to GO in the potty to get his Mack.

We had talked ourselves into a corner. He had to GO pee or poo in the potty in order to get it. That was the rule.

(By fuck, I HATE being inflexible. But in this case, I felt like I couldn’t give in.)

Somehow we convinced him that he could try again the next day. He went to bed, and I tried to shake off the Fail and come up with a way to encourage him to TRY the potty.

So yesterday with the help of some girlfriends, I devised a compromise.

(And a sticker chart.)

If he sits on the potty and TRIES for the time it takes us to read Green Eggs and Ham, he gets a sticker.

Once he gets 10 stickers, he can have his Mack.

OR, alternatively, if he GOES in the potty once, he can have his Mack.

Damned if he hasn’t gotten three stickers already. And his morning AND afternoon teachers are carrying that through in school, too.

I am so happy we found a good way to compromise. This works really well for me – incents him to sit on the potty and try. A chart also shows him visually that sometimes we have to WORK for something we want.

Feeling pretty good about it now. Thankfully.

We shall see, though.


O’s school did picture day back in October. I was excited to get those pictures, which turned out pretty good.

But the package was expensive.

And right now, O yells at me when I try and take his picture. Hand over the face and ALL.


So either I end up with a picture where he’s ducking away, or he’s scowling.

It’s pretty awesome.

So when they told us that they were doing ANOTHER picture day in April, I thought, no thanks.

I just assumed if I didn’t fill out the sheet he wouldn’t participate.

I was wrong.

So yesterday when I dropped him off and his teacher told me that they had pictures of him, I thought the worst.

But holy crap they turned out AWESOME. Like they got a REAL smile from him in one pose. And the two others – they are mini senior (high school) pictures.

I love them and I’m getting them.

Which means I’m going to have to, you know, BUY them.



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  1. The marine corps marathon is supposed to be a great marathon for a first marathon … um, not like I’d know or anything. But that’s what I hear. And it’s super duper close to a lot of great infertile bloggers. Like, um, me. And Mel (Stirrup Queens) and lots of others. So completely worth a trek down to DC.

    But personally I’m hoping that you are too pregnant to be running in any marathons in the Fall.

  2. I love that potty idea with the sticker chart. I am going to use that one!

  3. Ooh I am so jealous that you are looking at marathons (even though you will be totally too pregnant to do one in October). I keep looking at my usual half-marathon, which is in mid-October this year, and wondering if I can run it six months after giving birth…probably a touch ambitious, yes?

    Good idea on the sticker thing. I’m really interested in the potty process.

    I don’t think you need to justify yourself to your readers, ever, but I can understand why it sometimes might feel like you need to. And it is ok to say one thing and then later change your mind. You didn’t sign a contract when you started your blog. 🙂


  4. I’m sorry that you didn’t get the number for the NY marathon, but would be so excited if you ran down here.

  5. We used Disney Cars to bribe Sean with potty training too. He peed on the potty just fine, that was never an issue. But the poo was another story. It took awhile but he finally got the hang of it.

    And he got Mater.

    Now he’s got at least 70 freakin’ Cars and he loves ’em all. LOL!

    Yay for good pictures! Sean’s April pics turned out crappy. His October ones were awesome!!

  6. I like the idea of a sticker chart. You don’t have to back down on when to give him the Mack but he still has to sit on the potty even if nothing happens. Anxiously awaiting to see how this turns out…and, um, the other thing, too.

  7. It’s AWESOME that the sticker chart is working! We always fail with stuff here. No one will do anything for love or money! 🙂

    Good luck with the potty.

    And O’s pics were adorable on FB!

  8. Bo is also McQueen obsessed. We are planning to take Bo to see Cars 2 as his first movie at the theater this summer. Does O like Thomas?

    I am not sure what finally made everything click for Bo with the potty. We did sticker charts and rewards, but that didn’t seem helpful. A few weeks before we was to start preschool (no diapers allowed) I just started leaving him in underwear and dealing with the consequences. Eventually, it clicked. No idea how to get it to click at night though. Good luck!

  9. We did a couple of rounds of toy bribes, and I really didn’t think it would work, but it did! J’s issue was pooing & consistently remembering to say he had to pee.

    We got some amazingly Good,sparkly Cars stickers and we let him have 1 each time he went pee or Tried to go poo. He didn’t have to actually poo. Just getting him to sit was hard.

    In the end w offered him a “pack pack”, what the rest of us call a wheeled suitcase. I pre- bought it. I stored it, just in case. W played it for all it was worth. NEVER has a suitcase received such rave reviews.

    Late on night, just before or daughter was born, he did the deed – poo, in the pot. He was extatic. I sent hubby into the attic to retrieve it while I did the touchdown dance with Jim.

    Hubby came back without the case. I looked and looked. I almost started to cry. I couldn’t remember where I had “stored” the Cars Suitcase! My poor boy had to go to bed without his prize. It was so terrible.

    I found the damned thing about 20 mins after he was asleep.

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