Endings.September 12, 2011 at 2:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Endings.
J, O, and I were away at Acadia National Park last week. And for one of the few gorgeous afternoons, we went to Jordan Pond and played frisbee and baseball and tag.
And then J took O to use the potty. And I lay in the sun, relaxing.
Inevitably, another family came over and sat by us. With two adorable daughters – one a little younger than O and one a crawling baby.
I watched them for a while, really WATCHED them. The parents were seemingly relaxed. The little girl was making the baby laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh.
They were a sweet family sharing an afternoon in the sunshine.
And then my little boy came sprinting towards me, yelling Mommy! MOMMY!!
In that moment, in the sun, I let it go. It didn’t matter anymore that I didn’t have the two children I though I’d have.
I HAVE the family I am meant to have. Right here. Right now.
I wish I could end this post with just that moment. It was my intention, you know.
But I am in the midst of getting AF. And in what seems to be my own typical emotional cycle, at least for the past few months, I am not okay.
I could spend the rest of my life talking about that, I am full aware. How I’m okay and then not okay. And then okay.
And then not okay.
I always hated the idea that people could let their blog fade out. It always seemed so UNFINISHED to me. I hated the idea that I would be invited into someone’s life and then, all of a sudden, not be a part of their life anymore.
And so I had always hoped that I’d be one of those bloggers that could find her serenity and continue to blog, capably and intellectually, about her life and pursuits.
I am not one of those bloggers.
I wish I was.
As you probably have gathered, I am also not very good with goodbyes, either.
Thank you so much, my readers, for all the love and support you have given me over the past six years since I started this blog.
Thy spirits all of comfort: fare thee well. ~William Shakespeare