Say Goodbye.December 26, 2011 at 11:21 am | Posted in Heartbreak, Infertility | 13 Comments
Even without a lot of hope, knowing that the statistics were against us… this hurts.
I go into a cycle thinking my heart is hardened enough that a BFN won’t hurt me again. And then, inevitably, during the 2ww, I can’t HELP but hope. And when I get the negative, it slashes me deeper than I thought possible.
I thought I had protected myself better than that. Apparently not.
Beta confirmed the negative today.
To the embryos that never were: I’m really sorry I couldn’t will you to life. I tried my best. I wish it were up to me, but it’s not.