Say Goodbye.

December 26, 2011 at 11:21 am | Posted in Heartbreak, Infertility | 13 Comments

Ouch.

Even without a lot of hope, knowing that the statistics were against us… this hurts.

I go into a cycle thinking my heart is hardened enough that a BFN won’t hurt me again. And then, inevitably, during the 2ww, I can’t HELP but hope. And when I get the negative, it slashes me deeper than I thought possible.

I thought I had protected myself better than that. Apparently not.

Beta confirmed the negative today.

To the embryos that never were: I’m really sorry I couldn’t will you to life. I tried my best. I wish it were up to me, but it’s not.

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13 Comments »

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  1. I’m so sorry.

  2. I am really, really sorry.

  3. Sorry doesn’t cover it at all. 😦 Hugs, my friend.

  4. [[Hugs]] Wish it was easier to let go. 😦

  5. I am so, so very sorry.

  6. If we didn’t have hope how could we possibly persevere?

    It wouldn’t matter if you wrapped your heart in steel, the dashing of hope always cuts deeper than any protective layer we concoct.

    Abiding with you, cyber sister.

  7. I’m so sorry. I really am.

  8. No amount of preparation for a BFN can really help. It hurts like shit, regardless of i your first or last time. Sending you peace…

  9. So sorry to hear this, but you have up have hope or else there is no point in putting ourselves through this roller coaster x

  10. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. HUGS. I am very sorry

  11. I am so sorry to hear this. I was hoping, too.

    Bea

  12. I’m really sorry – I was hoping for different news right along with you.

  13. I am so sorry Serenity 😦


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