Not Me.January 13, 2012 at 6:15 pm | Posted in Heartbreak | 11 Comments
The casual mention at work.
Oh, she’s pregnant. Due in June. Didn’t you notice she was putting on weight?
I’m not prepared; I’m surprised by the news.
I can’t breathe.
But I smile anyway.
Wow, I didn’t even notice.
Pain. I want to cry. And scream, it should be me godfuckingdammit!
It’s not me.
I am not pregnant. I might never be pregnant again. No more babies for me.
This hurts so much.
It shouldn’t hurt this much. I am a mom. I have my O. I love him. My heart should be full. I am greedy; asking for more than I deserve.
When will this STOP?