New Life.

February 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm | Posted in And I ran (I ran so far away), Career angst, motherhood | 6 Comments

You’d think that finishing a job, taking a day off, and starting a new one would have meant OODLES more time to blog.

Apparently not!

I finished at my Old Company on Friday 2/24. Celebrated with Charlie Brown by having a Date Night for sushi and dessert, neatly ended with a call to AAA. (Well, actually, we got someone to give Charlie’s car a jump before AAA got there, thankfully. My fault, really – unlike MY car, apparently you actually need to SHUT OFF THE HEADLIGHTS before you leave. Leaving said headlights on for two hours IS, actually, enough to kill the battery. Who knew?)

Then I was off on Saturday to Cape Cod for a girls weekend with my two running club friends. And instead of indulging in wine and sleeping in and getting massages, instead we all slept poorly and then got up early and ran a half marathon on Sunday.

Even though my longest run to date was only 7 miles, which REEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALLLLLLY if I’m being honest was sort of more like running 5.5 and then run/walking to 7. But whatever, seven miles is seven miles.

BUT – I asked my new physical therapist if I should skip it, and he assured me that I couldn’t injure myself WORSE, that the most that would happen was that the tendinitis would flare up again. And that mentally, I kind of needed it. And I quote – he told me this: You don’t seem scared by much. This scares you. So I think you need this for your mental game.

Clearly the man doesn’t read my blog. This post is pretty clearly about being scared.

Anyway, I ran the damn half. And it was, in fact, a mental game from miles 4-10 – to keep running even though it was uncomfortable. And then it HURT. And then my garmin started beeping incessantly and shutting off and turning back on and I didn’t know how fucking far I was from the finish line and I cried because my leg hurt and my stupid garmin FAILED ME WHEN I NEEDED IT MOST.

(Okay, so I get a little emotional when things hurt. Whatever.)

But I stuck it out, finished 30 seconds later than my very FIRST half marathon, thereby setting a newest slowest half marathon PR, and proved that I didn’t injure myself WORSE, so that’s good. And I got 13.1 miles in to boot.

And then I cleaned and did laundry and errands and projects on Monday – my day off. And then I started my new gig on Tuesday; lots of work that’s starting out pretty slowly but I feel like I need to contribute and DO stuff.

So, uh, here I am. And crap, it’s Wednesday. And I haven’t posted since like, what, last Friday?

I’d like to be all like, Wow, I have SO MUCH FREE TIME NOW! except I’m pretty sure that’s not how real life works. What it MEANS is that I have more time to do all the crap I always ignored before: the clutter in the kitchen, washing all the dishes left in the sink at the end of the night, prepping lunches, bills, filing, etc.

All that life administration crap which really isn’t REWARDING, but good to get done.

Especially since the POINT of this work arrangement is to take the stress off Charlie Brown so he can focus on work. You know, in the hopes that someday I can stop worrying that he’s going to have a massive coronary from stress & sleep deprivation because I’ve taken on all the tasks that he thinks he needs to do at home.

(Fine, okay. I MIGHT have a problem with Slowing Down.)

The good news is that the idea that I don’t have to go back to a full time job makes me really, really happy. Happy enough that I was giddy leaving the office on Friday, could NOT wipe the smile from my face. Will be happy to settle into a new routine, but at the end of the day, I’m out of the toxic mess that was my old company.

So here begins my New Life.

Yay!

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6 Comments »

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  1. Yay for your new life! It will take awhile to settle into a new routine, but eventually you’ll have one. For me, working fewer hours really hasn’t been as much about having more “free time” (you know how often I’ve spent my “free” afternoons on the couch with a book? twice) but about actually getting done all there is to get done. I was unemployed for 8 weeks, and I only got through half the list, and there’s plenty still on there. But when I do have time to relax, I feel much more RELAXED in a house that’s not a total pigsty. And also, having a husband who is less stressed will make you less stressed, as you said. Sometimes I think I’m being anti-feminist, but I try to tell that voice in my head to shut up. I have a Real Job. And I also have a family.
    Anyway, congrats on being done, and good luck with this new chapter.

  2. Whoot! Congrats on it all – the 1/2, the date night, the tackling life’s admin stuff (I hate that crap) and the dishes!
    Yeah, sometimes it’s amazing how much joy the little stuff brings us.

  3. Whoop!! I’m smiling here for you … because I know EXACTLY what that felt like … leaving the toxic place! Funny … today I got a letter from a former colleague asking me to essentially testify against my old boss. And I honestly don’t know if I can go back there. It’s been over 6 months and I feel SO FREE.

    (So free that I have an interview coming up, but that’s another story, which I probably won’t post yet.)

    Yeah, only when I left I didn’t run a half marathon. You rock, woman.

  4. I saw your post on f/b and I honestly thought I must have not understood what you were doing, because it never occurred to me that you would run a half marathon given the problems you’ve been having. Well done you!

    And congrats on the new start to life! I can feel your energy in your post. It’s great to read.
    xoxoxo
    T.

  5. Wow – very exiting. (I am going to comment on a stack of posts at once here.) You have been making some major decisions lately.

    I’m not sure what your latest is re: the second opinion consult. I’m glad you had it. I always think it’s good to double-check before making anything final if you are in any way ambivalent or unsure about walking away. Might not change the decision, but it is good to be as informed as possible. I totally get how CB leaving the final choice up to you is both a) sweet and understanding and b) an enormous responsibility of the type you’d probably prefer not to have. But I think in the long run you’ll be more at peace having made the decision with that option open, rather than having had it made for you. It must be very hard now, while you’re making it, though. And I imagine if you walk away you’ll have to second guess that decision a few times yet before you’re finally at peace with it.

    You’ll have fun getting into the new routine. Life and especially raising children is a bottomless pit of one-more-thing-that-should-be-on-the-to-do-list, but it’s nice to be working within your stress levels, even if you’re doomed to never get everything finished 😉 Imagine getting everything all finished. It’s a distressing thought, when you look at it. What would come next?

    Well done on the run. As usual, your ability to enjoy running amazes me most of all 🙂

    Bea

  6. Congratulations (belatedly) on your last day and the start of a new phase! I’ve often thought it would be easier to blog if I could just close the office door (on my own personal computer, of course, and on break time, LOL), so I for one won’t be astonished if you find it a little more difficult to keep up your blog. ; )


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