Mishmash.March 21, 2012 at 7:58 am | Posted in And I ran (I ran so far away), Heartbreak, Infertility, motherhood | 15 Comments
My sister’s beta was negative yesterday.
Proof of why it’s so fucking unfair? Instead of getting drunk and sobbing on the couch last night, she instead went to her bible study and then to ice cream with a friend. And when she texted me in response to my check in text, she used a happy face AND an exclamation point.
I am pretty certain I will kick God’s ass if I ever get to meet him. It’s one thing to give ME infertility and struggle; I’ve not been the nicest person all the time and I very much question religion and the existence of God.
But she’s one of the good ones. She is a SOCIAL WORKER, for fuck’s sake. She bleeds for all the kids she can’t help.
And God is a complete asshole for treating her so callously.
I had the most amazing 5 mile run last night. It was magic; the first time since running the marathon last October where I didn’t have discomfort. I was able to push my pace JUST into the uncomfortable territory, but hold it there so it didn’t get to be too much.
I finished my last mile at a pace which even 8 months ago, in the midst of marathon training, would have been hard for me to sustain. And I felt SO strong.
I swear the strength training is MAKING ME FASTER.
Lucky is going through yet another phase where he can’t be bothered to use the bathroom and goes in his underwear instead. I swear to god I am going to lose my mind.
Because seriously. He’s been potty trained for almost a year now, he’s fucking FOUR YEARS OLD, and I can count on one FINGER the weeks we’ve gone without an accident. His good weeks, we’ll string together maybe 2-3 days where his underwear is dry and we don’t have to change.
A bad week, like right now? Multiple accidents, FULL ON.
He doesn’t give a shit about being wet. He’s started to make excuses for why he’s wet, even. No, Mommy, he told me yesterday. That’s from the bubble soap I played with.
When he owns up to it? It’s because I was too busy, Mommy.
OMFG, child, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND USE THE BATHROOM.
And yes, I mentioned it to his pediatrician. He got to pee in a cup to make sure that we’re not dealing with any sort of infection. But likely it’s a developmental thing which he should outgrow.
If I don’t lose my mind first.
This is a post for a day where I actually have time to write something more intelligent than bullets, but I need you to read this article.
I take issue with ANY legislation which seeks to remove or limit a person’s RIGHT – choice, to marry, freedom of belief.
So why aren’t more women talking about this? Why aren’t we ANGRY? Where are the Million Women for Reproductive Rights Facebook pages? Why is it not covered?
Do we really not CARE?
I did read an article that mentioned that most women tune out when politicians start talking about reproductive health issues.
I’m scared, really scared, by this. I’m not sure women can afford to tune out right now.