Exhale.March 30, 2012 at 8:16 am | Posted in Battles (aka: toddlerhood) | 13 Comments
Thanks. I feel better, a little, today.
Well, not really, but I think I figured out why I am stressed out and tired and upset.
I don’t like feeling powerless.
So. Hey, yeah, I DO feel powerless a lot right now. And it sort of sucks.
Saying that out loud this morning? Made me feel a HELL of a lot better.
So thanks for listening.
I mentioned my hip is bothering me. Thursday nights I have a running clinic, and last night’s workout was going to be hill repeats.
Which tend to bring out the nasty in ITB issues to begin with. But I hadn’t gotten a chance to work out on Wednesday, and honestly part of the hip issue I’m convinced is that I needed to do SOMETHING. But man, I was sore and tired and didn’t want to.
But I also didn’t want to go home, because I really DO need a break from the sheer drudgery of a regressing four year old.
So I decided to book a massage and the spa attached to my gym. The only spot open was a 1/2 hour at 8:15. I took it.
And my friend D suggested, hey, why don’t you swim instead, sit in the hot tub they have at the gym, THEN go to your massage?
Fucking brilliant, she is.
I ended up having to work late at my client anyway; deadline today and they were trying to get a bunch of stuff done yesterday. And I had to stop at home to get my swim stuff before I could go to the gym.
So I got home around 6:30pm or so. And I was surprised that no one was downstairs. So I went upstairs to say hello…
… and Lucky was standing on the bathmat, naked, as if he had just gotten out of the tub. Except his hair was dry. And his eyes were huge, red, and he was shaking with sobs.
The bath was neccessary because of multiple accidents that day. When Charlie went to get him, he was in his FOURTH pair of pants. And when he was freaking out before his bath, naked, refusing to take a bath, he peed on the floor a little bit.
And he was absolutely, unequivocally REFUSING to use the potty.
Charlie, to his credit, was actually pretty upbeat about the whole thing. All he said was that he thought Lucky needed to use the potty before he was going to get him dressed, because he REALLY wanted to make sure that Lucky’s underwear stayed dry.
My poor kid.
You could see the goosebumps on his skin, so I took off my sweater, wrapped him in it, and pulled him onto my lap. I hugged and kissed him and I told him that I was sorry it was so hard, that he must be having a hard day. And we just sort of sat there. Every few minutes I’d ask if he wanted to try using the potty, how even though he didn’t want to, we all had to listen to our bodies when they said they had to go. How sometimes if I held my pee too long, it made my belly hurt.
He kept saying no. And no. And no. And no.
Until, finally, when I made a game out of it. I put him on the toilet and told him that if I made a fart noise, it would echo. And he was curious enough to do it. And I got him to laugh, and he went, and I didn’t make a big deal of it, and I put him in his pajamas and he went downstairs where Charlie had his dinner ready for him.
I really don’t know what to DO about this. Refusing to use the bathroom at school, wetting his pants all day, refusing to use the bathroom at home. Right now it’s is a massive, swollen, emotion-laden issue. It’s back to the January levels, where he’s refusing to even TRY to use the bathroom when someone mentions it. He’s holding his pee in the hopes that, you know, he won’t ever have to go.
I really don’t know what to do. But I’ll tell you something. Last night demonstrated that Lucky is really, really struggling too. And I just feel really, really bad for him. He is SO frustrated.
And I wish I knew how to help him through this.