Deep Thoughts. Or Not.April 6, 2012 at 9:00 am | Posted in And I ran (I ran so far away), Battles (aka: toddlerhood), Crazy Talk (aka: Therapy) | 7 Comments
There is so much crap going on in my head that I want to dump into the computer.
I have tried, you know. I have three saved drafts right now that I’ve written over the course of the past couple of days.
All of which will stay in draft form because all I can write about is the thoughts. There’s no beginning or end or anything other than what I’m thinking.
A few tidbits?
I am trying to figure out why I am a miserable shrew of a wife to a guy who is pretty damn amazing.
I am trying to figure out why I am a miserable shrew to MYSELF.
I am trying to figure out the best way to cope with the continuing accidents and NOW a little boy who for the past two days has asked specifically not to have the juice that makes him poop.
I am trying to figure out the best race strategy to nail a half marathon in 1 hour and 58 minutes (aka: break 2 hours).
I have spent a LOT of time thinking about the above.
And I have zero answers for the first two.
But the second two, well, maybe I can tackle them in this post.
The update on the PT regression stuff, first?
In the hopes that this might be helpful for someone in the future: I have been googling “Four year boy old accidents potty training regression” for the past two weeks. It’s REALLY hard to get anything more than potty training issues when you’re FIRST potty training. Really, it’s not helpful to read about a 2.5 year old who has regressed because of a new baby at home. Not our issue.
No, Lucky has been potty trained since August last year, though now I question that definition because we’ve always had day pee accidents. We haven’t had pull ups or diapers in the house since then. He has no issues with poop OR the overnights; he sleeps in underwear and thus far has never wet his bed.
Which, I’m sure, now that I wrote this, will happen now. LOL.
We are nearly through two weeks of the Mira.lax. Last week Lucky had a day where he not only pooped three times, but also had a couple of poop accidents.
While relatively minor accidents, we thought, hey well, maybe the dosage is a little high, so last weekend we decided to ratchet back the dose from 3/4 capful to 1/2 capful, just to be sure.
No more poop accidents this week, and he’s definitely going at school, so I think it’s a good dose for him.
That said, he’s not really INTO the whole special-juice-that-makes-you-poop! anymore. Apparently this morning he specifically asked Charlie to give him juice that doesn’t make him poop.
Accident-wise, we’re not REALLY better off yet. Thing is, there’s a LOT of other issues that’s wrapped up into his accidents. Part of it is the whole “I’m four and don’t want to stop what I’m doing to use the bathroom” thing. Part of it is clearly a control thing, when asked if he needs to use the bathroom (either by us OR his teachers at school, mind you. Doesn’t matter), his answer is ALWAYS unequivocally no.
And honestly, I have a strong instinct a LOT of his reluctance to use the bathroom is frustration. He’s always wet, often when he doesn’t realize it. If I look at it from his viewpoint, what’s the POINT of using the potty? He’ll just have to do it again and will still be wet.
So we don’t ask him if he needs to go anymore.
Instead, we tell him that it’s time for a potty break. His compliance with that depends on the time of day. Lots more defiance at the end of the day when he’s tired. And then there’s accidents.
Not saying anything hasn’t worked really, either – he’ll just have wet pants, which means basically we tell him to use the bathroom and get a new pair.
Honestly, left to his own devices, he’d spend his days in wet pants and NEVER use the bathroom. For that reason alone there’s no way I’m even going to consider putting him in a pull up. I think, at some level, that’s what he wants right now. Would make it SO much easier, to never have to think about using the potty.
At least with the wet pants we have to force him to stop what he’s doing. Pull ups, at best, are the perfect solution for him.
And also? IF the issue of not wanting to use the potty is a result of the fact that he can’t physically control when his bladder empties? Pull ups is proof that he can’t do it and shouldn’t even try.
Part of me thinks that we need to, AGAIN, put into place an incentive program that actually WORKS. M&Ms when he goes to the bathroom and his underwear are dry to satisfy the instant gratification need. A sticker chart where, at the end of the day if he’s gone all day with dry underwear, he can put a sticker on his chart. And a promise of something really cool when he goes one week with dry underwear – a toy of some kind, or a trip to the Museum of Science, or something.
I hate the idea of having to bribe my kid to use the potty, especially this late in the process. But man, if it’s the only thing that works right now, it’s worth trying.
I don’t really have the words to describe how frustrated I am with this whole process.
For Lucky’s sake, after last week, I have REALLY been focused on keeping my frustration to myself, and being patient with him, and coming up with new games to incent him to use the potty (“Can you make the toilet paper sink?” “I’m going to use the potty before YOU do!” “I bet you [insert stuffed animal name here] has to use the potty. I’m going to race him!”) and not reacting to the accidents, and telling him we know he can do it, and jumping and squealing and giving him high fives and hugs when he shows us that his underwear is dry.
That’s what I’m DOING. How I feel about it, is another thing.
But I am convinced that trying the ‘fake it until I make it’ strategy will work eventually.
He WILL eventually outgrow this. Something will change. It won’t always be like this, I know.
Honestly, the one thing that is actually going pretty well right now is my running. I know I don’t talk about it much on this space, but the past 5 months have been really, really challenging for me. I had hoped that I could take all the fitness I gained from marathon training and use it over the winter in my runs. I have goals this year, one of which is to break 2 hours in a half marathon.
And so, it’s been hugely frustrating to deal with pain/discomfort on all my runs since I started up again in January. It’s draining, emotionally and mentally, to feel like you have to fight your body. And though my PT told me I couldn’t hurt myself MORE, it’s just so hard to go out there and push yourself to do something that’s uncomfortable.
But. It finally seems like the strength training I’m doing is really making a difference.
I actually had my first pain/discomfort free week of running two weeks ago. And I was so giddy about it that I ran REALLY hard three days in a row and didn’t really allow for recovery. Which, of course, led to some hip soreness.
But this week I saw my PT again, and we discovered that okay, my back and legs are strong now, but my hips are weak. So he gave me specific exercises for my hip weakness. And I did them, and I can say that this week I ran without ITB/hip pain, though the rest of my muscles were super sore from my workout.
The thing is, too. Strength work is making my runs FASTER. My comfortable average pace has gotten, on average, 30-45 seconds per mile faster.
And I am doing a spring running clinic right now, and my speedwork is just ridiculously fast. I never, ever, EVER thought I’d see the paces I am running for my intervals. And, I mean, it’s intervals. We haven’t done anything longer than a 1/4 mile before we get a 90 second recovery period. And I think just biologically I’m made for short bursts of speed. Fast-twitch muscles better developed and all of that.
But it’s all coming together right now, it seems.
So this half marathon I’m running a month from today? I have spent this week thinking that, you know, I might actually have a chance at finishing it in under 2 hours.
Which would be SO cool.
Tomorrow’s long run will help me see if it’s possible. The plan is for a 3 mile warmup, then 5 miles @ half marathon pace, and then a 2 mile cooldown. If I can nail it, then I’ll feel a lot more confident about my chances.
If not? Then onto Plan B.
Either way, I want to run this half where I finish with a sense of accomplishment.
Um. So that’s where I am with some things.
The other stuff? Posts for another time, I expect.