Sitting With It.

July 24, 2012 at 8:55 am | Posted in A Year of Mindfulness | 6 Comments

My sister is in town this week.

(Seriously, I love, love, LOVE having her around.)

They’ve been trying for 6 years. Two failed IVF cycles – one fresh and one frozen, both paid for out of pocket.

She recently told me that there’s this boy at her school who is in the foster system that she really, really liked spending time with. And at the end of the school year, she decided to look into doing visits with him over the summer, because he was such a good kid and she couldn’t imagine not seeing him.

My sister is actually starting the process of becoming licensed to be a foster parent. She’s said to me, many times since she first told me about him, that they were taking it slow and it was up to this boy if he wanted to spend more time with them.

She told me yesterday that he told them last week that he really, really wanted them to adopt him. And so she told him they were working on making that happen.

She sounds so… well, maternal when she talks about him.

And happy.

I don’t have the words to tell you all how so very thrilled I am for her.

And something else?

Seeing her, hearing her talk about him, makes me remember the conversation we had about 3 years ago, when she was really having a hard time with their infertility, and I told her that eventually she wouldn’t feel this bad because her infertility would resolve.

I know I’m impatient, and want to resolve our family building efforts NOW… but you know, maybe there’s something to sitting with our infertility. Not really making DECISIONS, per se, but going with our guts.

Right now my gut says we should use up our embryos. When they’re gone? Take a break. Sit with things, see how we feel. Wait it out.

We’ll see.

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6 Comments »

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  1. I just wrote about this yesterday, how the waiting is so hard because we don’t know what’s at the end of it. It’s just a difficult place to be. I hope you find that place where you can just sit with it

  2. Delurking to say I’ve been reading your blog for a while. I don’t comment much on blogs but have been hoping along with you that things would go well with your cycling. I had to chime in on this post as my Uncle is a janitor at an elementary school. He and his wife had 2 grown daughters. He found out one of the students there who he thought was a pretty cool kid was in the foster system and he and my aunt became foster licensed and later adopted this boy. He is a teen now and they are all very happy. I hope things this go well for your sis too!

  3. I’m so happy for your sister!! Abiding with you as you decide what to do…

  4. I think we’re always so anxious to make plans, and infertity takes that away from us (which for me super sucks). Sitting with it is probably a good idea, but I know it’s hard not to make plans (and more plans and back-up plans).

  5. I hope it works out for your sister! 🙂

  6. How exciting for your sister! I hope things work out well for her.

    Bea


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