Food For Thought.August 24, 2012 at 10:43 am | Posted in Career angst | 6 Comments
I cannot thank those of you who commented on my last post enough. So many good comments; so much to think about, and revisit.
(And yes, THIS is why I love this community of people, why I love my little corner of the internet.)
I have spent years, it seems, considering what I want to do with my life, my career, etc. And within one post I’m starting to think about things differently.
I realized after writing my post: a good portion of my fear of quitting my job is this feeling of needing security.
I HAVE lived close to the line, when I was unemployed and with $16,000 credit card debt, and it was a terrifying place to be – not knowing which bill I should pay now, juggling it all until my unemployment check came in, the calls from creditors.
Ugh. I never, ever, EVER want to go back there again.
Ever since having Lucky, I’ve needed to see a LOT of money in our savings account. I’ve spent a lot of time squirreling it away. Because that means I don’t have to WORRY about paying the bills; I know it’s there.
But that’s not enough, either. I also need padding in our checking account every month, knowing that our bank balance is big enough to handle unexpected expenses without having to TOUCH our savings account.
It’s an emotional thing for me, then. For some reason, I feel like money = security. And I’m loathe to rock the boat.
And I didn’t KNOW that about myself until I posted. Now I know, which is half the battle.
The other fear, for me?
I’m scared of changing things up right now because I don’t know if I’ll actually be happy being home with Lucky. Because, remember? I was home with him for six months when he was a baby and was so very ready to go back to work.
The irony of this particular worry is that I actually made a good career choice for myself. If, for some reason, I can’t deal with being a SAHM, because it doesn’t make me happy? I can call a couple of recruiters and go back to work whenever I choose.
I think my solution lies somewhere between being a SAHM and working part time. I have this idea that maybe accounting will be more palatable for me if I start talking to local businesses nearby. Maybe I can pick up some reporting here, some bookkeeping there. Trade my services for a workout here and there (means I can get rid of my gym membership! Bonus!).
Accounting is NOT my love. But it does pay the bills. And maybe I can find some happiness in helping people using it, too.
I don’t know. That’s what I’m thinking about, though.