Yep. There’s the Wall.September 13, 2012 at 8:08 am | Posted in And I ran (I ran so far away), another cycle! (aka: deja vu), The End of Trying | 7 Comments
I’ve been telling my friends – the few that actually know I’m cycling – that the only reason we’re still doing fertility treatments right now is because I never had to do PIO.
I’m not really kidding when I say it. I’ve hit a bit of a physical & hormonal wall in the past couple of days, and I am kind of miserable.
My ass hurts. My stomach hurts. I’m tired, and hormonal, and just plain TIRED of treatments.
That said, I’m learning what makes PIO better.
The worst PAIN (and yes, it’s painful) is in the morning. Feels like a bruise. Hurts to walk, to sit down on the freaking TOILET, and I’ve gotten good at hiding my limp.
Tylenol, though, takes the edge off. And once I’m a quarter mile or so into a run in the morning, the muscles don’t seem to hurt all that much.
Heat feels good, too. After last night’s shot, I sat on a heating pad for 15 minutes, and I didn’t feel pain at all until this morning.
So it’s manageable. But sucky.
I also started my medrol on Monday night; honestly I’m not sure what it DOES per se, but they prescribed four pills that I take at night with my estrace. And food, because I learned the hard way that it causes stomach pain if you don’t take it with food.
And I think it’s causing me some intestinal issues, especially on my runs.
So you all know I’m training for a half at the end of the month and then in November. I’ve worked my mileage up to between 25-30 miles a week. And since I can’t run this 10k on Sunday – really I should probably avoid running at ALL, actually – my running time has gotten compressed this week. I need to get miles in.
(And maybe to answer an unspoken question: I am unwilling to stop running at this point. I did last cycle. It did nothing for me. And when I got the BFN, it was awful and took me a MONTH to get back to the point where running felt good again. This time, I’m not stopping. I’ll be smart about it, I’ll slow down, I’ll run to feel. But I’m not stopping altogether.)
So I came up with something that’s workable, for me. 8 miles yesterday in two sessions – one 3 mile and one 5 mile. 4 miles today. 5 miles tomorrow. 10-12 miles Saturday. Bam.
Except. I ran yesterday morning and night, and both times I had to stop and use the bathroom in the middle of my run. This morning I had awful stomach pain throughout my entire run, though thankfully I didn’t have to stop. I’m attributing it to the medrol, because progesterone does the exact opposite of that.
But this is where I ask you, for those of you who have done PIO: did it give you issues?
And this morning’s run, at a little past a quarter mile, I totally rolled my ankle on a lumpy section of the road and went DOWN. Road rash on my right leg, holes with Embedded Road in my palms. I finished the run – 4 miles – bleeding and with a massive stomachache. Combined with the bum sore in the shower this morning, really, I wanted to cry.
Yep. There’s the wall.
Tomorrow will be a rest day; I think Sunday I’ll go for a walk instead. I finish my last medrol tonight, so if that is the issue, then I’ll eliminate it. I’ll start Saturday’s run with a two mile loop that ends at my house just in case I need it. If I have to do that 2 mile loop 5 or 6 times, so be it, right?
But yeah. In the likely event that this cycle doesn’t work, we’re taking a break (we would anyway because Charlie is traveling from October – January). And then we’ll do our last cycle, and walk away.
The good news is that I think I might have found The End. The point where I’m finding I’m no longer willing to put my body through treatments any more, that the Suck of doing more cycles might actually outweigh the desire to be pregnant again.
And that’s something.
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