Yep. There’s the Wall.

September 13, 2012 at 8:08 am | Posted in And I ran (I ran so far away), another cycle! (aka: deja vu), The End of Trying | 7 Comments

I’ve been telling my friends – the few that actually know I’m cycling – that the only reason we’re still doing fertility treatments right now is because I never had to do PIO.

I’m not really kidding when I say it. I’ve hit a bit of a physical & hormonal wall in the past couple of days, and I am kind of miserable.

My ass hurts. My stomach hurts. I’m tired, and hormonal, and just plain TIRED of treatments.

That said, I’m learning what makes PIO better.

The worst PAIN (and yes, it’s painful) is in the morning. Feels like a bruise. Hurts to walk, to sit down on the freaking TOILET, and I’ve gotten good at hiding my limp.

Tylenol, though, takes the edge off. And once I’m a quarter mile or so into a run in the morning, the muscles don’t seem to hurt all that much.

Heat feels good, too. After last night’s shot, I sat on a heating pad for 15 minutes, and I didn’t feel pain at all until this morning.

So it’s manageable. But sucky.

I also started my medrol on Monday night; honestly I’m not sure what it DOES per se, but they prescribed four pills that I take at night with my estrace. And food, because I learned the hard way that it causes stomach pain if you don’t take it with food.

And I think it’s causing me some intestinal issues, especially on my runs.

So you all know I’m training for a half at the end of the month and then in November. I’ve worked my mileage up to between 25-30 miles a week. And since I can’t run this 10k on Sunday – really I should probably avoid running at ALL, actually – my running time has gotten compressed this week. I need to get miles in.

(And maybe to answer an unspoken question: I am unwilling to stop running at this point. I did last cycle. It did nothing for me. And when I got the BFN, it was awful and took me a MONTH to get back to the point where running felt good again. This time, I’m not stopping. I’ll be smart about it, I’ll slow down, I’ll run to feel. But I’m not stopping altogether.)

So I came up with something that’s workable, for me. 8 miles yesterday in two sessions – one 3 mile and one 5 mile. 4 miles today. 5 miles tomorrow. 10-12 miles Saturday. Bam.

Except. I ran yesterday morning and night, and both times I had to stop and use the bathroom in the middle of my run. This morning I had awful stomach pain throughout my entire run, though thankfully I didn’t have to stop. I’m attributing it to the medrol, because progesterone does the exact opposite of that.

But this is where I ask you, for those of you who have done PIO: did it give you issues?

And this morning’s run, at a little past a quarter mile, I totally rolled my ankle on a lumpy section of the road and went DOWN. Road rash on my right leg, holes with Embedded Road in my palms. I finished the run – 4 miles – bleeding and with a massive stomachache. Combined with the bum sore in the shower this morning, really, I wanted to cry.

Yep. There’s the wall.

Tomorrow will be a rest day; I think Sunday I’ll go for a walk instead. I finish my last medrol tonight, so if that is the issue, then I’ll eliminate it. I’ll start Saturday’s run with a two mile loop that ends at my house just in case I need it. If I have to do that 2 mile loop 5 or 6 times, so be it, right?

But yeah. In the likely event that this cycle doesn’t work, we’re taking a break (we would anyway because Charlie is traveling from October – January). And then we’ll do our last cycle, and walk away.

The good news is that I think I might have found The End. The point where I’m finding I’m no longer willing to put my body through treatments any more, that the Suck of doing more cycles might actually outweigh the desire to be pregnant again.

And that’s something.

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  1. I hated PIO so much like you–even with hospitalizations for OHSS, I found it the worst part of cycling. I did find switching to ethyl oleate for the base made a HUGE difference. So did switching to the narrower gauge needle (25 instead of 22). It took longer, but with the thinner ethyl oleate and thinner needle, it made the shot area less sore. I am sorry and hope this will work. I also used a heating pad (a bean bag warmed in the microwave) on the site immediately after and each evening before bed.

  2. I don’t have a lot of assvice because I didn’t really have problems with the PIO until I developed the allergic reaction to the sesame oil. I think then we switched to ethyl oleate.

    I do remember very stupidly going out for a run at one point mid-cycle and realizing that my muscles were too bruised from the PIO for that to be comfortable. I respect your decision to run, but I think running + PIO = soreness/discomfort.

    Hoping for a smooth transfer on the weekend.

    xoxo
    T.

  3. Hey there… I also did pio and I told my regular md that I was doing it and he prescribed my this cream that dialysis patients also use that completely numbs your skin and down into your muscle. I put it in and put plastic wrap over it for a half hour and then did the injection and felt nothing. Then sat on a hearing pad for 30-60 minutes after every shot and I did not have any bruising or lasting pain around the area at all for the entire 12 weeks.

    Hope that helps! I think the cream is called emla

  4. No advice… just want to wish good luck and sending you a big HUG

  5. I had the PIO in ethyl oleate which is supposed to be a thinner oil. Also, I asked if I could use a 1in needle instead of a 1.5in and was told that was enough to get it into the muscles. I think you said you are warming it up before injecting? That helped me and also the heat afterwards but only for about a week. After that, it was just trying to deal with the pain. A few weeks in, I developed an allergy to the PIO and was switched over to oral and vaginal progesterone.

    Sending you lots of luck and hugs.

  6. You are a CHAMP for doing PIO. I couldn’t stand it. Begged for the progesterone inserts (which suck in their own way but don’t hurt!). So GO YOU. As for the weird stomach issues, I have to tell you that on the few runs I have done on this cycle, I’ve had MAJOR stomach cramping. Hormones? Who knows. I’m hoping the best for you on Sunday!

  7. Oh Serenity, I am right there with you — my transfer is next Tuesday, and starting the PIO tonight. Have been dreading it all day. No matter how many times I have used that stuff (I swear, if I counted up total months and smashed them together I think it would be about 2 continuous years of injections… wow), I still am always shocked to see how huge that needle is and how it can really freaking hurt. And the lumps! A hot shower before seems to help. But not enough.

    My stomach has been a mess this cycle, which I had been attributing to Estrace. But who the hell knows. I am very inspired that you continue to run through the cycle. I really wrestle with the exercise issue. It’s one of the only tools I have to manage anxiety — yet I always feel this pressure to stop after transfer, when the anxiety is truly through the roof (and probably destroying my chances even more than some jostling at the gym!). I may re-examine this if this cycle fails. I may re-examine a lot of things. But I also just may not have the energy to do that either.

    Anyway, wishing you all the best. I can relate so much to a lot of the feeling in your words right now.


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