Well, That Didn’t Go Well.October 4, 2012 at 4:15 pm | Posted in My life, rants | 11 Comments
So I put my big girl panties on and called my mom.
Because I was thinking about it, and every time I got angry I remembered my sister’s sadness, how she told me she didn’t really want to tell my new nephew that his new grandparents weren’t going to be there, and how she “couldn’t tell Mom,” she just let it be.
And so I decided I’d focus on that. Not my own anger at her lame excuses. Just how disappointed my sister is and how I’d like for her to reconsider.
I wasn’t very successful in staying not-angry, I will be honest.
When she said, in response to me telling her that my sister was really upset she couldn’t be there: I don’t have a CHOICE! I got angry.
And I reminded her that she did, in fact, have a choice. She was MAKING the choice not to come. Because last I looked, there were physical therapists in Florida. And she can miss 2 sessions, do those exercises on her own, too. I mean, it’s a THUMB.
And I mentioned that, you know, it always seemed like it was something. She didn’t want to go to my cousin’s wedding in DC this summer because of her allergies. And now this? Seemed like they were excuses to me.
And then I asked, How are you going to build a relationship with your grandkids when you don’t come to family functions?
That’s when she told me that she wasn’t going to talk to me about it anymore right now.
And she hung up on me.
I confess, right now?
I’m done. Done. I honestly don’t care if I ever speak with her again. I want her out of my life.
I know, it sounds like I’m overreacting. (And maybe I am.)
But I’m so tired of trying to maintain a relationship with someone I don’t really even LIKE.
I’m done with all the years she made me feel awful about myself, like I never measured up.
I’m tired of spending money to fly there, only to have to deal with the anxiety beforehand of how to handle her without getting angry.
I’m done with it all.
For me, personally? I really don’t care to have a relationship with her. And I refuse to put myself out to forge a relationship with her grandson, too. If she truly cared, she’d forge a relationship with Lucky on her own. I wouldn’t have to manipulate it.
For so long now, I’ve maintained this semblance of a relationship with my mother because I’ve had this feeling. Family is important. Really important.
To me, anyway.
Apparently not to my mother.
So yeah. I’d say that didn’t go well at all.