Better, thanks. *now with an update*
March 6, 2008 at 12:11 pm | Posted in Pregnancy | 24 CommentsThank you so much for the supportive and kind comments yesterday.
I was talking with my good friend D about this a few days ago, and she remarked that it’s sort of like I have to do my grieving upfront – just to help prepare myself for what’s ahead.
I did that with our infertility, and I’m doing it now when I think about birthing our baby. And of course we’ve discussed the breastfeeding thing too.
Between your comments and what I read from Oro at The Liminal Universe (which, by the way, stop by and congratulate her on the birth of her Chieftain), I feel a lot better.
Because Oro said this: “The Chieftain is the ultimate goal in my tournament of infertility, and I’m never, ever, ever going to forget that.”
Regardless of how our baby was conceived… or born… whether or not my body can produce food to feed him or her…
Squishy is OUR BABY. The ultimate goal in the long journey we took through infertility.
So yeah. Who the fuck cares how he or she gets here? What’s going to matter is that he or she IS HERE. And both J and I will get to know a little person that was created from so much love.
So. I’m feeling a LOT better this morning. Ready to see Squishy on the ultrasound. Ready to discuss our options with my doctor.
Ready to set a date for our baby’s arrival.
And this morning? I feel so very excited.
Because, if my math is right…
We’re going to be able to meet our baby in a little more than three freaking weeks.
___________________________________________
So I had my appointment with my OB today. Squishy is still breech. S/he is measuring a little small, but “perfect.” The tech estimated him/her at 5lbs 6oz today. My cervix is still long and closed, the placenta looks “great,” and fluid levels are “just fine.” Blood pressure was great – 117/62. I’m up a lb since my last appointment.
And.
We have a c-section date.
Monday, March 31.
3:30pm.
Which, you know.
Is THIS.MONTH.
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Serenity Now! 
It really is amazing that the further away from the pg and labor/delivery processes I get, the less and less it matters. When my daughter crawls up to me and then laughs at something I do, I can guarantee you that the thought of “I was able to conceive her naturally, deliver her vaginally with a good experience, and breastfeed her” is not even close to entering my brain. I do not take for granted that I was able to do all of those things, but there’s just so much to absorb when you’re raising and getting to know your child that there’s no point in lingering on things in the past like that. This baby will arrive in one way or another, and after your recovery (in either case), you’ll never look back because you’re too busy making new memories with your baby. 🙂
D
Comment by andbabybmakesthree— March 6, 2008 #
I’m happy to hear that you are better this morning. I tried posting numerous times yesterday but WordPress was not cooperating.
I can’t wait for you to meet Squishy… He or she is so fortunate to have you and J as his or her parents.
Comment by Ms. C— March 6, 2008 #
Woo-hoo!
Have a great ulrasound! three weeks of mostly pajama-clad workdays sounds so great to me. Happy for you.
Comment by Julia— March 6, 2008 #
There are so many bright sides to this situation! First your gonna get your baby out of it and you will know WHEN it is going to happen. You can actually put an end date to the whole situation. I know for me being so Type A and a real planner this whole waiting thing is driving me crazy!
Comment by Somewhat Ordinary— March 6, 2008 #
Wow, that’s exciting to get a date! So glad everything is looking okay, too.
Comment by Deborah— March 6, 2008 #
You’re having a baby this month. 🙂 Yay!
D
Comment by andbabybmakesthree— March 6, 2008 #
SQEEEEEEEEEAL! This MONTH, this VERY MONTH, Serenity! It’s so exciting!!
He/She sounds about the same size as Ethan was, and he was a healthy 6 lb 13 oz at birth, which was 38w3d or something like that, so you’ll be golden.
OH MY GOSH, exciting!!
I can’t say how happy I am for you, and I just started reading your blog not that long ago!!
Comment by JessPond— March 6, 2008 #
That’s in a few weeks!!!!!! Oh this is very exciting! How wonderful. Everything sounds good! Hang in there 🙂
Comment by Jill— March 6, 2008 #
OMG! The 31st! That is sooo soon and so wonderful! Yay!
Comment by Jen— March 6, 2008 #
Wow..I can’t believe it’s time. I remember like it was yesterday when you got the BFP=) Cant wait to meet your little one!
Comment by JJ— March 6, 2008 #
: O
march 31st.
Comment by christina(apronstrings)— March 6, 2008 #
If you haven’t been “nesting”, now’s your chance!
Comment by DD— March 6, 2008 #
So soon so soon so soon! I’m so excited for you guys that you’ll meet Squishy soon.
Comment by Mel— March 6, 2008 #
Having a date makes it feel REAL, because it is! I’m so excited for Squishy’s arrival!!
Comment by hopefulmother— March 6, 2008 #
DUDE!
The 31st of the month?!? I can hardly believe it and I can hardly wait!
I totally feel your pain (from the last post) about the c-section issue. I went from wanting a totally natural birth (ooops! Twins kinda foiled that plot) to actually begging my OB for a c-section towards the end because I was so sick.
And although this was the exact thing I had hoped to avoid, actually planning it (even just a few days ahead of time) was awesome. I’m a total planner anyway, and knowing what was going to happen when was all of a sudden very comforting.
I went through the feeling of being disappointed (again!) in my body, which of course I experienced yet AGAIN with the Great Breastfeeding Debacle of late 2007.
But you know what? In the end I’m just thrilled the babies are healthy and looking back, I’m totally over having a c-section and not being able to BF them.
That’s not to discount your feelings at all Serenity, but if it helps, focus on the end goal (healthy you & healthy Squishy) and everything will fall into place.
And Good Lord, does the length of this comment make up for the fact that I’ve been lurking and not commenting the last few months?? Sorry ’bout that!
🙂
Comment by Watson— March 6, 2008 #
Well, if you end up with that section, your baby will share a birthdate with my husband and he’s a pretty great guy.
xo
Comment by luckbeababy— March 6, 2008 #
How exciting! I can’t believe Squishy is almost here!
Oh, schedule your pedicure now. That is a necessity before giving birth. I am so excited for you!!
Comment by My Reality— March 6, 2008 #
Woohoo! A date! Holy crap!
Comment by chicklet— March 7, 2008 #
Woo hoo! Yeah for March 31st! Are babies will almost be exactly a year apart (mine are 1 on April 5th). Trust me, I know it might not be the ideal delivery method, but once that baby shows up, it matters not how she/he got there. I’m so excited for you … and the countdown begins …
Comment by Erica— March 7, 2008 #
I obviously slept in way too long this morning, because when I woke up it was ONLY THREE OR SO WEEKS TIL YOUR DUE DATE.
Which is THIS MONTH.
Good grief.
Bea
Comment by Bea— March 7, 2008 #
Ok- I have to comment again… I can’t believe you have a DATE. That’s so wonderful and so real. I’m so so excited for you!
Comment by Ms. C— March 7, 2008 #
Wow you have a date and it’s my nephew’s birthday too.
Comment by Caro— March 7, 2008 #
I think March 31 is a very distinguished birthday. And, yeah, it’s this month – whoa! Squishy will debut!
BTW, have you looked up March 31 on Wikipedia? It’ll tell you what famous people have that bday, what major events happened on various March 31s in history, etc. Kind of fun.
To echo a PP, I also had repeated letdowns by my body (infertility, hyperemesis, breech/c-section, chronic low supply of breastmilk), and I can report that they all matter so much less than they did in the moment, and with the c in particular, I really do not care at all about that. Infertility still irks me the most out of all of them, but even the pain of that has receded somewhat.
You are going to be a mom so soon! (I mean, you are already a mom, but a mom of a baby ex-utero!)
Comment by motel manager— March 7, 2008 #
so excited for you, it will be here before you know it.
YIPPEE!
Comment by piccinigirl— March 7, 2008 #